THIS GIRL IS HOTT STUFF!

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Rejected numerous times?

How many?

That's a tough one because some people don't take rejection to heart and move on to the next one. For aspies, I think it can be tough espeacially when it comes to that game of dating and flirting.

The first guy I was with didn't start out with the flirting or asking out. We would just chat and do things together. By chatting, I usually told him how cool it was that he liked to do this or how good his songs sounded on the guitar. You know compliments. I think when it got serious was when we both went to a movie together without presenting it as a date and held hands. That's when some things changed from there of course it was also a lot of trouble since I wanted my freedom as well. Story of my "first date."

So I would just act casual and compliment him on his shirt or something and ask about himself. I don't know what all feedback I can give from there. Most people do face rejection in their life. Some just move onto the next.

Even if you are a bit too shy to do all the fine suggestions you have recieved, you can at least give him a coy smile and maybe even say Hi whenever you walk past him.

And stick with it, if hes shy as well, it may take a long and slow time to progress to chatting, but if you persevere.

Ive known a few girls who wanted me but where to fast for my shyness so they misubderstood it as disenterest on my part, so missed out on something they could have got if they had stuck with it.

I'm not 100% about this, but couldn't your being on the rebound from the previous relationship be an issue? I mean, those other people who rejected you... did you think they were as cute and cuddly as you think this guy is? Why would you approach so many people in such a short space of time? (Two months? Am I right?) Maybe you should just take a bit of time to enjoy being single, and then you'll be able to approach people in a more confident/relaxed manner, and everything will be easier. In the meantime there's no reason not to become friends with this guy mind you, and see if it develops into more later. On the other hand, maybe I'm totally wrong, maybe I move way too slow when it comes to relationships.

Oh yeah, some people would say that if you want a relationship with someone you need to avoid being friends first, lest you get stuck as just friends. Personally I don't believe that though. Mind you, if you couldn't handle being just friends when you really like someone, then you should definitely avoid being friends first. (Since if you become friends and then you ask him out and he then rejects you, you might go back to being just friends. Although maybe this is different for girls? Never heard of a guy saying he doesn't want to "ruin the friendship". But maybe that's because I'm a guy. Also incidentally, if you're friends with someone don't be afraid to ask them out for fear of ruining the friendship -- if your friendship is strong enough for you to stay friends even though you like him, it's strong enough to handle either rejection or a relationship.) Ah, long brackets. *Takes a breath of air*

Alright, so if you decide to indeed go ahead with asking the guy out, which despite what I said might indeed be the best thing to do, then the main thing I have to say is: BE BOLD. Firstly, if you don't talk to him you're never gonna be in a relationship with him anyway, so where's the negative? Secondly, rejection isn't that bad. Oh wait... you were just saying you don't want to be rejected because you've been experiencing it a lot lately? So I guess you've recently felt it's sting? Well I'm not saying you're delusional, but that sting is all in your head. It's because of what you think that rejection means that you feel that sting. I don't know what you think exactly, so tell me if I miss the mark...

Rejection doesn't mean you're less worthy as a person. Obviously. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you, just that they don't like you in 'that' way, or that they're not ready for a relationship, or whatever. If it does mean that they don't like you at all, why would you want them anyway? It doesn't mean you're ugly, just that you're not their type, or maybe you got the approach wrong, or were doing the too-casual-clothes thing that aspies sometimes do (there's a post about clothing for men and women in this forum). All that stuff right there is why I like being friends first... you can discuss this stuff with a friend. They might not give you completely honest answers, but at the least they should give you some clues. And if you stay friends with them afterwards then you know that the rejection doesn't mean something awful about you.

Anyway, the point is, if this is indeed the right time for you, and not a time to enjoy singleness, just go for it!

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." -Goethe

I would give him a quick, simple compliment on one of his shirts. If I liked a guy who wore band shirts that I liked, I'd say, "Hey, I like your shirt. I like that band too" or something. It's an easy way to start a conversation or at least let someone know that you notice them.

I guess flirt with him. See, it was kind of an opposite situation for me- as my girl went after me....but at the same time, SHE'S NT, and I'm the one with the AS.

Trust me- she can read me like a book, after long enough...and she's a smart one.

One thing you could do is leave him anonymous notes in his locker, if possible...and show him how knowledgeable you are of his interests. That might work.

Cool, glad I got that wrong.

Hmm, well I've already said all I could about not worrying about being rejected, so I won't go there again. One thing I remember from high school is that sometimes people thought I was a bit odd at first, but would warm up to me after we'd been talking for a while. So one thing that's helped me is having a conversation with someone for a while before asking them out, so that any initial oddness is smoothed away by our mutual interests if any. Of course, if I found out that we didn't have any mutual interests then I wouldn't ask them out. This method might help you with your fear of rejection too, since you can attempt to judge the situation by how smoothly the conversation is going. If things are going well, wait for a lull in the conversation, and ask him if he has a girlfriend.

That is basically my stratagey. Sometimes they even messed with my head for fun. I'll ask my friends for there input and they'll say "YES, HE SOOOO LIKES YOU!" and I'm usually right, which I normally say "No, this person doesn't". I was right about my recent ex, my frist BF, and my ex GF. I knew they ALL liked me but didn't say it out loud incase I may be wrong. My friends have more faith in me than I do. I know the truth about my patheicness.