I've been married for 23 years, and spent most of that in an open or poly relationship. For 4 years we were living with a third, a girlfriend, which was great. Unfortunately she had to move across country, to look after an elderly family member, but our parting was affectionate.
I find that, as someone on the spectrum, removing the need to be EVERYTHING to my spouse has been a huge relief. I don't have to be the shoulder to cry on any more, which is great because I sucked at it. And if I'm having a day where I can't deal with talking or touching at all, I'm not leaving my partner all alone on those days.
And, honestly, getting jealous about my spouse having sex with someone else makes as much sense to me as getting jealous about someone else cooking a meal for them.
That said, it is perfectly OK for you to decide that a poly relationship isn't for you, because you are jealous, want to be the only one, or for any other reason. Just be honest with the woman, and let her know in a respectful way.
01 Jul 2015, 8:07 pm
