Religion and Relationships

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You just have to ask yourself the question if she is worth it or not. If she is really important to you, then it is not that much to ask to adopt a few other customs? Unless religion is like a lifestyle to you ; but for most people nowadays it is not something deciding their direction of life anymore, so to convert would not drastically affect your way of living or the direction of your ways.

I don't believe in a deity, but I am happy to worship a goddess including the rituals she requires me to do

Ideally, I would like my ideal partner to be similar. It's the finding that person part that's difficult.

Realise no persons are identical, there will always be differences. Certain criteria are good, just make sure not to have so many criteria that lot of girls are per definition excluded.

I personally would mainly want my girlfriend to share my love for travelling, my political views and artistic preferences. If she has totally different opinions on other subjects I doubt I would really care. If you agree on the things in life you consider as highly important, that's as close as you'll ever get to a perfect match.

pardon my curiousity sir....

who's the God that you believe in?

there are lots of god outside christianity

Voted "No"-am inflexible & "set in my ways" about particular philosophical interpretations.

Basic beliefs about causation & attribution are important areas in which I'd need to be "on same page" with potential romantic partner (person of interest). Have never had religion (or God notion) in my life, and none of the people I've been involved with were religious. Those with such frameworks are not attracted to me & I'm not attracted to them, on an emotional/cognitive level-no point pursuing things with someone so wholly incompatible.

Would like to find people nearby who are liberals, but my personality (or ASD, or something-I don't know) makes me difficult to get along with, for most folks (even the normally tolerant become frustrated & enraged, "triggered" by me). Am so agoraphobic & introverted (not an outdoorsy activity/adventure person) that there's no way to meet up with such persons (potential friends or possibly more) in offline world-assuming I even knew of them online, which I don't. Pardon the digression...

I said yes, but really I don't expect to be with someone who would want me to change my beliefs and I would never ask a girl to do that. I also really don't believe in saying that I wouldn't date person with x belief or x characteristic, I'd rather approach each girl on a case by case basis as I believe there are wonderful people out there even if they don't share exactly my same beliefs. To do otherwise seems to be cutting my options really short and not giving someone a chance who I could of been very happy with. If someone is too different from me though (especially overly bubbly emotionally dependent extraverts) I do find it difficult to consider a relationship with them, so I do see where you are coming from.

Also considering that my experience with relationships is none at all maybe I am a bit too selective .

I wouldn't want anyone to have to change for me, nor do I expect them to.

Even though I'm a Christian, I feel that there are very few things that could be considered evil.

well, I'm confused. You want someone who is close to your faith (and if Garrison Keillor is any judge, 'liberal' is not often a term applied to Lutherans....no 'fense.., but you want someone who is fairly liberal. Not being a liberal myself, but hearing much about them, they ordinarily have a tolerance for other's beliefs, at least in public...

There's always going to be some adjustment in any relationship, but the more preconditions you put on the search, the fewer results it returns.

Tim, just remember not to rule someone out on what's written in a profile, or what's given as a first response to a question.

There are many who may have been "raised" in one religion, it doesn't necessarily mean that they "practice" it just because they state it as being such.

I think it would be almost impossible to change my beliefs or lack thereof for another person no matter how in love I was, I think although I might be able to love someone who was a conservative Christian I couldn't share what they believe. To completely change my view of the universe and world and philosophy would be a lie, especially if I didn't have some sort of religious experience or epiphany and basing a relationship on a lie would only be a bad thing. Although maybe it could work if we could live together without trying to change each others views and being respectful of one another.

Honestly I'm not specifically sure. It's the God of Christianity that I've seen at work and it's that which makes me believe, but I wonder sometimes if it isn't just the same God and we simply haven't correctly identified it yet.

The god of christianity is basically the same god as the god of Islam and Judaism. The three abrahamic religions may have different accents and customs, but they have a lot more in common than most people think, including the same god. In fact if people would realise this, a lot of the world's problems would be solved in the snap of a finger.

Thanks for all your advice. It appears that my policy of limiting myself to female, liberal Aspies will continue.

Most of the rules listed in the Bible are fairly trivial, and even Jesus says that the most important commandment is to "love the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind", and to "love your neighbor as yourself". Just as certain laws take priority over others (i.e. you wouldn't stop to issue a speeding ticket while chasing a hit and run vehicular homicide), the same applies to the laws of God. Doing the other things listed elsewhere in the Bible is just a way to fulfill those two commandments and bring yourself closer to God.

no chance i'd "convert" to another religion for a woman. i used quotations because i can't just change my beliefs like that, so i'd be living a lie if i were to do it and i've done enough of that that i don't want to do it again.

i'd be willing to live with hers, i would be willing to wait until marriage for her, but i most certainly will not convert for her. she'd have to accept me the way i am or find someone else.

Proselytizing is fundamentally arrogant. It is saying, "My core beliefs are true and best; yours are flawed and errant, in need of correction by a concerned party such as myself." Trying to convert a potential mate is disrespectful and shows a fundamental gap in compassion and understanding.