no one seems to want to date me anymore

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I was goth for Halloween!

Halloween as well.

True, that. But not every woman wants a whiny, depressing little man who can't decide whom to emulate - Boy George or The Crow.


Such people are "High Maintenance" types, and it seems that anyone they date is a mere fashion accessory.

Those last 2 statements are 100% bona fide Bullsh1t. Ive done G0th before I sure as bloody f*****g hell AM quite straight and smart . Back in the day(like 8-10 years ago), Goth was a EXCELLENT way to meet women, REALLY Attractive women as well . A lot of those macho straight guys couldnt fathom why scrawny pale, effete men were getting such hawt women.
Besides, didnt xdragonxninjaxpowax say that he was Bi? There definitely ARE more women out there than you think who like effeminate men. A lot of women who are "nonconformist"s seem to be drawn to straight men who act gay. Ive know more than one straight girl who enjoys the company of gay guys and often expresses her wish that they were straight. The more you have in common with women, the better you'll get along with them AND the more they'll feel like you're a man they can actually relate to. I have to say, modern women who love macho guys are either immature(as in teenage) OR fairly low class.
Men who are low social status often try to compensate for it by being overly macho and aggressive and it really Does NOT seem to impress most women(I admit that I am guilty of taking this approach).

I would like to dress as Col. Sanders for Halloween.

Why haven't you ... too chicken?

(just joking)

Worst advice ever.... I am not going to comment further about it since I made a whole thread.

Be yourself in her context means to remain unchanged, without any change or improvement .... it doesn't mean anything else. A man who wants success from life needs to constantly improving himself, I am not saying you have to fake yourself ...but you have to improve yourself,to learn ....and even change some things in yourself. Your life can't change if you remain unchanged, no one of us succeeded school by remaining unchanged, life is a big school.


I agree with Fnord and Dracula all the way , change your haircut at least.

Count how many emo girls are around and how many mainstream girls are around ....and do your math.

Alright bro here's the thing, NT people can see the major feeling you carry around inside, so when you don't act desperate, but you feel desperate, it means what's inside isn't matching what's outside, and this turns people off. If you were to act desperate on the ouside, you may find someone to get along with..... But what would be more healthy for you to do is begin to drop the feelings of desperation on the inside. AND when you get into these feelings of fedishes it furthers your feelings of desperation.

So I would recomend simply letting go of the desperate feelings and allowing accepting feelings to come in instead.

Excellent Point man!
Ive often had the SAME problem of trying not to act desperate but my feelings of desperation get conveyed unknowingly and unintentionally. At the same time its not always possible to control this, so my advice is DO NOT go out of way to approach people when you're feeling desperate inside. One way to combat feelings of desperation is to find something else to get interested and excited about and use that as a a distraction.However, if you act desperate on the Outside you are REALLY going to scare people off and people will think that you're a creepy loser. Thats why I find online dating much easier because its soooo much easier to hide feelings of desperation and to lie in a believable way.

Still look at what your doing here man.....

When you do meet that girl in real life, she's going to see right thru that BS. In fact, unless you are like a seriously good liar, she can probably see the BS in your written messages!

Do yourself a favor and become excited to be who you are!! ! Then when people do meet you.... ANYWHERE.... they will see that who you are doesn't matter but how you feel about who you are does!! !

I totally get this. Sex you can have anytime (with yourself ), but what you want is a nurturing, caring relationship with someone who values you. And, of course, hot sex with that person as well. You want someone to share moments with, someone special who "gets" you.

There is no rhyme or reason as to why you're not in a relationship right now, trust me, it has relatively very little to do with you, it's just the way life goes sometimes, so what you can do is focus on other things while still being open to flirting and a relationship. Figure out what you'd want your mate to be and become the person he or she would like to be with. Remember, it's a two way street. Your time as a single guy can be a terrific opportunity for you to grow and become a more complete person.

I used to have a roommate who was obsessed with trying to find a boyfriend. He became so bitter about it. Anytime something good happened, like a promotion at work, he'd go "Big deal, I'm still single..." He was a good looking guy with a great body, a good job, and all he could think of or talk about was the fact that he was single, so he basically postponed any joy in his life until he found "the one", which may not happen soon and will always happen not soon enough.
As a result, he wasted so much time wallowing in self pity, not realizing that that negative energy he was emanating was contaminating him. Negativity is never the optimum way of dealing with any situation.

Recognize that you don't want to suffer the pain of loneliness and being single, let go of it. You are not a bundle of conditioned reflexes, you have a choice. And when it happens that you meet someone you really like, at least you didn't waste all the previous time, you became a better person in the interim.

You maybe don't see it now, but you have a long life ahead of you, don't waste it, because you can never go back, you can only go forward.

Word.

Michel, that's really good advice!! And if I may add something, when you constantly focus or remind yourself that "I am single" that simply anchors in those feelings. Try this instead, remind yourself that "I am finding someone that fits me perfectly" Even reading that makes me feel better! Saying it outloud makes it 10 times better!!

It's mostly in the way you look at the world, because the world will look back at you the same way.

Good luck man!!

WHAT exactly is it that Im doing here, man?

Unfortunately people Cannot always control how they feel inside! The only control you have is how you express those feelings and often times we express thngs that we are trying to conceal. Now when it comes to online dating, I personall do not lie about who and what I am. Doing so is obviously a bad idea. What I meant is that you can represent yourself online WITHOUT conveying your feelings of desperation. NOT by lying, just by carefully choosing your words. It is NOT necessary to always be perfectly honest about how you feel to (complete)strangers; doing such in fact does a lot more harm than good.
So what Im sayin Ann-D-Rew is that when someone else tells you how they feel and you tell them how they're *supposed* to feel, that often does nothing to change how that person feels. Thats is why I recommended the OPoster to find something else to get interested in and excited about to distract himself from feeling lonesome. Well, thats what worked for me.

How can you say it worked if you still need to hide your "negitive" emotions?

I'm not saying run away from your emotions, I'm not saying control them either.
I'm saying become happy about your life.
If you're unhappy then change you life.
Would you rather struggle with becoming happy or simply be happy.

The emotions that you feel are from the thoughts that you hold.

IF one were to hold the thought that everything is always exactly as it should be, then there is no reason to struggle with the way things are.

This is more about accepting of yourself than changing it.
The changes come from acceptance.
First one must accept themselfs as they are, then they can accept who they are becoming!

You can't catch the bus by running after it, you have to realize that you missed it, and wait for the next one to come.

^^ S'truth! ^^

The changes you want must originate from within yourself. If you wait for the world to change without you, then expect it to change in ways that are not to your liking.