2 Aspies + difficult pasts-Can It Work ?

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Can understand what is being said... I know it is not healthy to rely on another, but on the other hand, he has stated numerous times that he wishes to take care of me, so in a sense, it is like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle coming together.
The strife comes because he naturally reacts logically to a situation... assuming, that if I am upset, he is best keeping a distance and that this is what I would want. It is, of course, not what I want- quite the opposite. He says he realises this now, but I still fear a repeat performance.

We met up last night and went for coffee and talked. I had pretty much withdrawn into myself again and I don't think he knew how to react, but in the end he just reached out and held my hand as we walked along. We can talk and make sense to one another fine when we are physically together, mostly. But when it is communicated in phone texts, things just seem to be made worse. If something triggers me to be in a high stress state, that triggers my bipolar badly, at which time I tend to not be at all rational and do need him more.

The issue this time came from my landlord and his daughter shouting at Colin and attacking me verbally and threatening to evict me from my apt if they see him here again...followed by colin leaving almost right away, thinking it would protect me. In the end, with so much stress and upheaval, I had needed him there with me a little longer but I could not express it in the right way, so I told him he didn't love me and didn't care, and he says this hurt him a lot, because I was dictating his feelings. Had I said 'I feel as if you don't love me...I feel as if you don't care', the situation might have turned out better because he is quite pedantic about how things are phrased.

But we both always want to try again as we have had some wonderful times and on many levels we are identical. Oddly, this makes it a lot harder for me to understand him because I cannot conceive of someone else experiencing things in the same way I do. He used to get very freaked out when I described feelings and thoughts I had, and reactions, because it was identical to his own. I said early on, being so alike will either be the making of us or the destruction of us, depending on if we can help one another through the more negative similarities and focus on the positive ones.

For now, we have resolved things anyway, and he wishes me to feel safe with him again. I have to admit, I do have some challenging behaviours which can't make things any easier, and his drinking habits add to it.

I have always told myself, that I would not ever be happy in a relationship until I have resolved all of my issues and found perfection in myself, thus whenever things go wrong I get angry and consider it doomed before it starts, because I still have my issues. I have dealt with them to a degree, but not fully. They might always be there because of my past, but it would be cruel for it to mean I must spend my life alone. In spiritual terms, tho, I do wonder if that is how it works...you don't find a perfect relationship until you find perfection in yourself.

This is us inbetween bad days.

Grael you realise you have a problem this is positive. I don't think the fact that he want to take care of you should be taken as a reason to both live out the codependence. He has also got his problem. You are not superheroes that can solve each others problems, even though that would romantic s**t from Hollywood POV. Maybe it would be more proactive to both go and see someone for your problems. I'm not sure of both together or separate, I'm not an expert.

Also you might consider trying to take things a little less fast given that you said that you are both quite involved, but still not happy.

You we so happy the last time you made a post. Maybe you mood fluctuation are part of it. Some day are just average I guess. Not amazing, not terrible just average. Maybe you should focus on having average days in amongst the amazing and downright s**t.