For my autistic brethern- Have you given up on love?

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I'll take the courtesy of answering some of your replies:

Yes, I seriously did expect to get a girlfriend after 10-12 girls, perhaps even before I hit 10-12. Why? Because 10-12 attempts are more than enough to get a girlfriend, if you've done your homework and you know how to go about things charismatically.
That is my belief, how many rejections does it take before a guy gets a gf usually? 1,2,3, perhaps 4, 5 or 6 tops, but certainly not 10-12. Yes, I did place my hopes of a relationship on 12 girls, you could say I did a sampling, drawing conclusions from a small group of a majority, in this case being women. Yes, it is a generalization, yes, it is unfair, but I have drawn my bias conclusions and I will ardently stick to them until proven otherwise. Where is your objectivity when you have been dissapointed and have an emotional bias? True, there are 7 billion people on this planet, numerous oppurtunities, but what makes one so optimistic about such figures? What makes people trust so deeply in this abstract idea called "romantic love". I wonder...



They want to be pampered and yet they mock us (nice guys/aspies/slightly autistic) by rejecting us. How ironic and at the same time how revolting. You seem wise and knowledgable, so I will give your words much consideration, perhaps I can do well by them. Yes, when you are a nice guy, you can easily lose self esteem? Why? Because you don't expect dissapointment and when something dissapoints you, it comes as a suprise, although you know in the back of your mind that it could happen. Because you are nice by nature, you get angry at yourself for not being assertive or aggressive, which leads to lower self esteem. Avoidance and annoyance of people is easy for any autistic, we avoid because we don't understand people and we become annoyed at them because we think their behavior is rude and primitive at times, which goes against our good nature. Another generalization, but I believe it holds some water.



Simple enough advice, but what girl cares for a recluse? Beauty only means so much, beauty without intelligence is worthless. I don't want the creme de le creme of women, I want a cute/moderately attractive female, not some big breasted blonde or brunette. You are right "They make look good on outside, but are they that way on the inside? Someone who isn't very attractive on the outside may be attractive on the inside" Samson and Delilah all over again. But in order to be attracted to anyone, there has to be some level of physical attraction, no?

I think you've got a man-crush on Ross Kemp.

Yeah, I pretty much have. The problem is, it's not just girls who are superficial. Pretty-much everybody is - male or female. We're living in the age of Big Brother, mobile phones, the Internet, Hello magazine and Sky TV. All things where consumerism and excess are glorified and celebrated, and deeper, more fulfilling pursuits often mocked and laughed at. The world and society are in a truly sad state of affairs at the moment.
I know none of that is going to help you feel any different about your romantic endeavours, but I do seriously wonder if it's even worth pursuing love at all when the rest of the world is caught up in its current orgy of consumerism.

No.

Have not given up; am exquisitely in love at present. AM, from what I read... there seems to be an impression that if A, B and C are all accounted for and present, you'll get a girlfriend... and that is not my experience. I've been in a fair number of relationships, and dated more than some of my friends who don't experience the same problems with crowds and overstimulation... it took hundreds and hundreds of encounters and people to reach that point. Most success came later, once I had some experience - early on, I failed time and time again. Relationships don't respond to taking samples and expectations... they grow, and they come from many places. My current relationship was a dear friend for eight years before things progressed to something more - be flexible.


M.

^Ah-HA! So you CAN create an inter-dimensional rift between the Friend Zone and the Relationship Zone!

I don't know if I have given up.

I have only had 4 major relationships in my life. I did not really enjoy any of them. Over the last few months I have been going over various things about them to figure out if I didn't enjoy them because of the girls I choose to date were bad choices, or if it had something to do with the AS... or both.

Anyway, it has been about 22 months since my last relationship ended and let me tell you life has been simpler and I really do enjoy the peace and quiet!

Have I given up? I don't know. I do know I am a lot more careful and patient about getting to know a woman first before I let things get serious. Which hasn't happened to much because I really don't want to date.

Yes, you can... and it is wonderful, because there is a trust there that I could not have imagined in another relationship.


M.

It would be so much easier if I could, but some part of me will not let it go.

I haven't "given up" per se, but I don't try very hard either. I kind of have my doubts that I will find love (again). My longest relationship so far as been 3 months, and I'm really not finding many people interesting these days. Not to mention that I seem to only like the wrong kinds of girls...

Right on, brother!

The interdimensional rift between Zones is highly unstable ...

It's funny how people are talking about getting rejected 10-12 times. I haven't even gotten that far, really. I was turned down a few times in my mid-teens and that's it. Usually women I'm interested in either are taken or eventually stop talking to me or responding to my e-mails/texts.

I don't feel like I have the authority to say "I'll never have a girlfriend" but I can easily imagine it happening. I've made it this far in college with not much attention/interest, just one more year and then I'll be focused on a busy working life with even fewer women involved. My parents don't agree but I think they were prepared for me to start having relationships at 13 or 14, because that's when they started getting lucky, and my lack of success is confusing to them.

What really increases your rejection-count is not knowing how or when to ask for a date. If you keep asking incorrectly, your failures will just keep piling up. Has anyone ever heard of a thing called emotional traction?

And it is also about knowing which girl might say yes and which girl will DEFENITLY say no.