23 Sep 2008, 5:52 pm
in-a-dark-tunnel wrote:
For the last 8 years my AS husband has said to me at least 2-3 times a week, that he should never have got married to me, and he wishes he was by himself, and the best part of his life was when he was in prison and in his cell for 23 hours and did not have to socialize. He is only here because of the kids, and that I am not a good enough mother to be trusted to bring them up alone (in a spiritual sence). To him, these words are just how he sees things. To me it is a cold cold relationship.
My relationship is a bad example, and furthermore my husband is an alchoholic and a drug addict.
I did not know he had aspergers. BUt now I do, I know he is not going to change.
any advice?
My relationship is a bad example, and furthermore my husband is an alchoholic and a drug addict.
I did not know he had aspergers. BUt now I do, I know he is not going to change.
any advice?
Uhh you married someone who has a prison record?? Sounds to me like you're looking for something to blame. You are the one who had kids with him, you are the one who married him, take a little responsibility here miss. I'm sure he has issues, but you are the one who chose to be with him. No one put a gun to your head, so if you're not getting what you need get out of the relationship and take the kids with you. Even I can see he is simply not made to be with other people if he is telling you that openly.
23 Sep 2008, 5:52 pm
23 Sep 2008, 5:53 pm
23 Sep 2008, 5:55 pm
23 Sep 2008, 5:55 pm
23 Sep 2008, 5:56 pm
23 Sep 2008, 6:02 pm
23 Sep 2008, 6:03 pm
23 Sep 2008, 6:03 pm
ZakFiend wrote:
in-a-dark-tunnel wrote:
For the last 8 years my AS husband has said to me at least 2-3 times a week, that he should never have got married to me, and he wishes he was by himself, and the best part of his life was when he was in prison and in his cell for 23 hours and did not have to socialize. He is only here because of the kids, and that I am not a good enough mother to be trusted to bring them up alone (in a spiritual sence). To him, these words are just how he sees things. To me it is a cold cold relationship.
My relationship is a bad example, and furthermore my husband is an alchoholic and a drug addict.
I did not know he had aspergers. BUt now I do, I know he is not going to change.
any advice?
My relationship is a bad example, and furthermore my husband is an alchoholic and a drug addict.
I did not know he had aspergers. BUt now I do, I know he is not going to change.
any advice?
Uhh you married someone who has a prison record?? Sounds to me like you're looking for something to blame. You are the one who had kids with him, you are the one who married him, take a little responsibility here miss. I'm sure he has issues, but you are the one who chose to be with him. No one put a gun to your head, so if you're not getting what you need get out of the relationship and take the kids with you. Even I can see he is simply not made to be with other people if he is telling you that openly.
BTW. I married him because I met him through church. i am a christian, and his past offences are not the issue. He is a spritual man, and I married him for that, hence why I have stuck it out. the issue is not that I am complaining about my life, but how can I turn it around?
Now I see his words are just facts to him, and he does not mean to hurt me, surely there is hope?
23 Sep 2008, 6:05 pm
23 Sep 2008, 6:05 pm
0_equals_true wrote:
tbh not all these types of post are negative, there are many attempts to understand. This is an attempt to understand it seems.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
fair enough. as I say I was going to leave, I could not take anymore.... I thought AS was a ray of hope.........
23 Sep 2008, 6:09 pm
in-a-dark-tunnel wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
tbh not all these types of post are negative, there are many attempts to understand. This is an attempt to understand it seems.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
fair enough. as I say I was going to leave, I could not take anymore.... I thought AS was a ray of hope.........
It might be but for him. Yes there will be room for compromise, later on. He might need some alone time each week, but he has to learn to communicate that properly.
23 Sep 2008, 6:09 pm
0_equals_true wrote:
spirtuality and morals are two different things.
Yes that is what he says. Drinking is not a sin....etc... he still has insight even though I in the world sees his behaviour as inappropreate.
He does not care about what people in the world think, he is interested in the spirtual............. But I am of this world and I feel like he puts a vice on my head and tightens it with his souting..........
23 Sep 2008, 6:12 pm
0_equals_true wrote:
in-a-dark-tunnel wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
tbh not all these types of post are negative, there are many attempts to understand. This is an attempt to understand it seems.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
Thing is we are not magically in tune with other people on the spectrum. So really we can't have a clue what going though your husbands head.
fair enough. as I say I was going to leave, I could not take anymore.... I thought AS was a ray of hope.........
It might be but for him. Yes there will be room for compromise, later on. He might need some alone time each week, but he has to learn to communicate that properly.
Yes... how can I help him communicate in a way I understand? he just shouts and points his finger and gets cross, and I jsut back off............. what is the point.... God knows.....
23 Sep 2008, 6:13 pm
23 Sep 2008, 6:17 pm
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Worried about being a husband and father |
25 Dec 2024, 5:23 pm |
| Should spending the holidays with a family and husband be... |
25 Dec 2024, 9:32 pm |
