"Someone For Everyone": Wisdom or BS?

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In this case, I think something can be wisdom and BS.

Is there someone for everyone? No. Do some relationships work despite seeming to defy all logic? Yes. Are there actually some very happy couple-halves out there who are also at times difficult, quirky, and iconoclastic? Absolutely. Is it possible to randomly find *at least one* person whose personality complements yours? Definitely.

Is it a given? Nope.

I think that there is, if you look to see people's good qualities.

I think if you go into a relationship with a lot of requirements that person has to meet, then you will most likely never find them.

Everyone is a mix of good and not so good qualities ( show me ONE perfect person out there) and I think that learning to appreciate the good things in people goes a long way to helping you find someone that you care about enough to want to spend a long time with.

For example .. there is a couple in my town and you would think looking at them " How did they end up together, they are such an unlikely couple" A very handsome guy.. smart and well known in the business world, and he is married to a woman with chronic arthritis who has been in a wheelchair since she was a child and sadly she is very misshapen because of it and completely dependant on others for her care. She is in charge of making provisions for students with disabilities at the university and has a degree, she's intelligent and well spoken.

They are married.. have been married for over 20 years and are very happy together. How do I know all this , the woman in the wheelchair is my cousin.

I think there is something for everyone, if you look beyond what you initially assume people will be like and look for the good qualities in people. Also I think most people are lacking in courage.. you do not know until you try .. and what is rejection except perhaps being one step closer to finding the person that you click with.
I am happily married now, but I am 44 years old, I am not a teen. I have already had one marriage that did not work so well, and other relationships before that marriage and after it.
All I can say from my own perspective , if you give up you have already lost. If you keep trying you might just find what you are looking for.

BS

If there was someone for everyone then you would be fated to meet them.
but it just does not work that way does it?
true there are so many in our world that the odds of someone existing that one could most perfectly complement the other,
but the odds of finding that one is almost the same as the number of people in this world,
thats about like the odds of wining the powerball, you would have better luck getting struck by lightning several times over.

I don't think it is meant literally as " one " person in the world is right for you

I think it means that everyone can find someone that fits well with them.

Well, in my case they have to have 2 other requirements apart form having good qualities: not actively avoiding me, and not already taken for the long haul. It's been quite literally years since I met a girl I was at all interested in that wasn't already taken for the long haul and didn't avoid me like the plague or was openly hostile. There are plenty of good girls out there, but they're all married, engaged, cohabiting for the long haul in a committed relationship or are single but avoid me completely.



True, and romantic interest is not a purely rational affair.




If only other people applied this to me...




True, but it's hard not to become discouraged when you see no reason around to hope you'll get anywhere.

It's bs. I'm gonna die alone. And ive learned to accept that

It's romanticism. It may not be true, as evidenced by the fact that people do die alone.

Basically, it makes sense to think that way, because if you don't have at least some hope, how can you hope to succeed?

I think it depends entirely on what one means by "someone."

If you're willing to give up enough other things, anyone can find Someone. Whether or not it's someone you actually want to be with. . . er. . .

It depends on what you think 'someone' is.

If you're looking for a submissive doormat, there may be, but it's kinda like the Ultimate Question; you know the answer is 42, but what's the question?

With nearly 7 billion people on the planet, the idea that you're so unique that no one would be compatible with you? I don't buy it. Now, the perfect someone may be 12 timezones away, but that kinda begs the question.

The first thing is to figure out what you're looking for. To the extent that you have a pretty good idea what qualities you want, without being so restrictive that no one could meet them. Seen it happen before.

I don't think I'm incompatible because I'm "too unique"... there are plenty of Aspies and even non-Aspies with incompatible personalities, so I know I'm not unique. I think it's more a question of not having enough compatible traits. The less compatible traits you have, the less your chances of there being "someone for" you.

it depends on how much you are worth for someone (sexually,socially,financially...etc)

If you are so much worth then this 'someone' would equal to so many people.
If you are not worth for some reasons then this 'someone' might not exist.

Wow... I am thankful I do not live in the world described above.

The concept of a singular 'one' does not make sense to me... rather, there are those you will resonate with over your life, some more strongly than others, some only for a small span of time. If you are fortunate and expend the effort, you may find one of those who ring completely true for themselves, and remain in harmony with each other. It is our own expectations and demands that complicate things.


M.

Is there someone for everyone, in the sense that absolutely 100 per cent of everyone is predestined to meet someone who is their soulmate and will love them completely for who they are, regardless of things like money or status? No.

Is it possible for two people to fall in love, and be completely satisfied with each other without things like money and social status entering into the picture? Yes.

I have evidence: some guy was very nice to me, I told him to stop emailing me, he wonders why, I say nothing, he finishes last.
I guess if he wants to find that there is someone for him, he will have to stop being so nice.
What do you think?

^That's not evidence in favor of "someone for everyone." And why don't you start your own thread about the guy you rejected, instead of hijacking every other thread?

Please excuse that I am rather new to these forums, and also new to an AS diagnosis, however I see suffocating negativity here. It almost sounds like people on these forums want the false romanticism of the suffering loner. I don't. I learnt a few years ago that if an answer to a question didn't suit me I'd come up with a better one and believe that instead. It may not be objective truth but I'd like to see anyone prove the existence of objective truth, so I'm going to stick with belief being tantamount.

People like the believe that the universe is a chaotic indifferent place ruled by probability. I can't accept this. People want to talk about the probability of meeting a partner, and concern themselves with numbers. Study chance, coincidence and chaos and you'll find that it simply does not come close to explaining the world. For example, try coming up with an explanation of the concept of probability without presuming the concept and you'll think yourself in a circle. Sure the fundamental building blocks of the universe are random particles, but the world is more than the sum of its parts, as is proven by the meaning gleamed from this collection of words. I firmly believe that the universe holds sublime patterns with real meaning, and that our perception shapes reality (as is "proven" with quantum physics).

This may all sound like philosophical jargon, but my point is that people have been meeting and falling in love for thousands of years — despite massive odds against it. There must be something greater at play than what we perceive at face value.