28 Sep 2008, 12:11 pm
Sedaka wrote:
i thought your profile was nice. sounds like you have a lot of good things going on. i do imagine anyone with kids though would have a harder time, but at least it helps screen out the douches moreso (hopefully)
best of luck.
best of luck.
Thanks Sedaka
I think Im going to look for more books on social skills to see if there is anything which has tips on emailing technique. It just makes me feel so bad about myself that when people get to know me they stop writing. I need to change my style but its so tricky as I also want someone who likes me for who I am.
Thanks again
28 Sep 2008, 1:23 pm
28 Sep 2008, 3:58 pm
makuranososhi wrote:
Learning communication techniques does not change who you are... think of them like paintbrushes you use for different effects. A couple things I noticed... first, while there is many interesting aspects in your profile, it is relatively terse. Supplying more random information may give a more complete texture to another reading it... I know my profile there is no work of art, but would be willing to share if it would give you some ideas. Secondly, in the examples you providing in the thread, I noticed a trend... there were not questions asked in response. Not to say that you do not ask, but sometimes that can help to generate on-going conversation - and, from many accounts, asking indicates an interest in the other person at some level, even if it is just curiosity. Just some things that popped to mind.
M.
M.
what sort of random stuff should I add? Do you have an example
How do you tell what questions are rude/too personal, I worry about coming accross as too nosey or too gestapo like
29 Sep 2008, 1:11 am
29 Sep 2008, 4:53 am
Thanks wonder woman
yes tell the guy why you've stopped writing as it might help him learn from the experience.
Im going to take makuranososhi's advice and make my profile less stark, and ask more questions.
I so suck at this online dating lark, I think I might try meeting people in real life instead.
anyone got any ideas for places to meet guys in real life?
30 Sep 2008, 4:57 pm
OK people, Ive changed some stuff in it, let me know what you think
I think I might have done more damage actually
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/kathleenlotus
30 Sep 2008, 5:50 pm
30 Sep 2008, 6:20 pm
30 Sep 2008, 7:13 pm
Maybe you are trying too hard and investing too much time for little in return , most men would run away from single moms anyways how matter you try. Just give it time and pms would reach you , you aren't supposed to be the chaser anyways.
At least, you have your own kids , enjoy this bliss in meantime.
Who needs men these days anyways? 
30 Sep 2008, 10:19 pm
30 Sep 2008, 10:59 pm
01 Oct 2008, 5:07 am
ToadOfSteel wrote:
Well I do have to say it's a nice profile...
If I went for online dating (as it stands, I avoid it), and you didn't have 9 years on me, I would consider going for it...
If I went for online dating (as it stands, I avoid it), and you didn't have 9 years on me, I would consider going for it...
Thanks
Ageing sucks
01 Oct 2008, 5:13 am
LePetitPrince wrote:
Maybe you are trying too hard and investing too much time for little in return , most men would run away from single moms anyways how matter you try. Just give it time and pms would reach you , you aren't supposed to be the chaser anyways.
At least, you have your own kids , enjoy this bliss in meantime.
Who needs men these days anyways?
At least, you have your own kids , enjoy this bliss in meantime.
Who needs men these days anyways?
I think that an awful lot of women in the UK who are my age, have kids and most guys are used to that. I dont think that would put them off really.
I think the children having AS would probably make a difference as people are often prejudiced against special needs.
I think the most effect is caused by me having AS and not being able to hold a good 2 way conversation. I think I talk too much about myself and dont show enough interest in the guys and therefore they think that I am brushing them off or get annoyed with me.
01 Oct 2008, 5:20 am
makuranososhi wrote:
I think the changes give more of a sense of personality, a depth of interests. Online dating isn't by any means a guaranteed success, but there are a lot of connections that are made there. I met my first girlfriend online in 1991, and have met others over the years. Online only isn't something I think I would find a good solution, but it does work for some people. As for LPP's words, I disagree... there isn't a role that people must fit into, and having children is not always the issue that it seems - as I've grown older, it is more and more a part of the relationships that those around me encounter. Be happy, and have fun... I think that's what ends up being important in the emotional sense.
M.
M.
Thanks Makuranososhi
I will continue to modify the profile and see what it brings.
I think patience is probably the key!
anyway, one of my old messaging friends wrote back to me this morning so I am pleased
I thought he had got annoyed with me and stopped writing so thats great He only wants to be friends but that is better than nothing and its great to have someone to chat too. It will keep me going
I just hate sucking at social stuff
01 Oct 2008, 10:04 am
lotusblossom wrote:
Haliphron wrote:
Well I had a look at the pictures, and while there certainly isnt anything wrong with them maybe you might wanna try a full body shot if you're comfortable doing that whilst wearing really *nice * clothes.
Am I right in thinking that you are saying that it does not matter what I say in my profile or in my messages, it only matters if I have nice photos?
Im not sure how that will get me an honerable lover.
No you're not. But because men are so visually oriented, having eye-catching pictures will Really help you to get (more)responses. Then you can have your pick among those who message you
. Trust me, Im a guy, I totally know about these things.
01 Oct 2008, 1:10 pm
Haliphron wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Haliphron wrote:
Well I had a look at the pictures, and while there certainly isnt anything wrong with them maybe you might wanna try a full body shot if you're comfortable doing that whilst wearing really *nice * clothes.
Am I right in thinking that you are saying that it does not matter what I say in my profile or in my messages, it only matters if I have nice photos?
Im not sure how that will get me an honerable lover.
No you're not. But because men are so visually oriented, having eye-catching pictures will Really help you to get (more)responses. Then you can have your pick among those who message you
. Trust me, Im a guy, I totally know about these things.ok, I believe you
I will put some full body shots on there when I can next borrow a camera.
by the way what do you mean by *nice* clothes?
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