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Question for female Aspies . . .

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NetNinja
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17 Oct 2008, 5:59 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Ive had a good idea,


I think I might contact my local group for kids and get them to help me set up an adult group in my area :D


what is your area?



hale_bopp
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17 Oct 2008, 6:48 am

I don't really go to places, I am either at home or work ;)



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17 Oct 2008, 7:54 am

Hmm.. not all aspie girls are shy; I can often be outgoing to the extreme.

I think clumsiness is definitely a factor - my legs tend to always be at least several shades of blue green and yellow - Look at their legs! :lol:

Nah, but in all seriousness, don't disregard NT girls out of hand. So many guys here are doing this, and I think that it's a mistake. NT girls can be amazing gf's and you shouldn't disregard them just because they're different.

a.k.a. If there was a really attractive girl who was the love of your life, but only spoke Spanish while you spoke English, would you go - nah, I don't understand her so I'll never be in a relationship with her, or would you learn to speak Spanish?

Think on it.


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Hector
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17 Oct 2008, 8:30 am

LePetitPrince wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
LePetitPrince wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
on WP is probably your best bet :wink:


Image


expand on this? I am feeling dense today


your advice .....his best bet for finding girls can't be WP.

Well, in a sense it is because most of the women who post here supposedly have AS. There are women who are the partners or mothers of people with AS but I think they're still in the minority of female posters. Whereas even in the library or at comic conventions I doubt women with AS would constitute the majority. Another bet is societies or group counselling services for people with AS, and they have the added advantage of being "real" as opposed to on the internet, but the sample size would be smaller.

That said, it is not reasonable for a man to wish for a girlfriend on the autism spectrum especially since they are outnumbered so much by men. I don't think men would have to look too hard to find attractive NT women.



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17 Oct 2008, 11:19 am

sunshower wrote:
Hmm.. not all aspie girls are shy; I can often be outgoing to the extreme.

I think clumsiness is definitely a factor - my legs tend to always be at least several shades of blue green and yellow - Look at their legs! :lol:

Nah, but in all seriousness, don't disregard NT girls out of hand. So many guys here are doing this, and I think that it's a mistake. NT girls can be amazing gf's and you shouldn't disregard them just because they're different.

a.k.a. If there was a really attractive girl who was the love of your life, but only spoke Spanish while you spoke English, would you go - nah, I don't understand her so I'll never be in a relationship with her, or would you learn to speak Spanish?

Think on it.

I'm not disregarding NT women at all. I just have a gut feeling I wouldn't be able to sustain a relationship with one because she would get bored. Aspie women might as well, but I think there'd be a better shot.



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17 Oct 2008, 2:01 pm

sunshower wrote:
Nah, but in all seriousness, don't disregard NT girls out of hand. So many guys here are doing this, and I think that it's a mistake. NT girls can be amazing gf's and you shouldn't disregard them just because they're different.


No, many of the guys here (myself included) are more likely to disregard an NT woman because she's more likely to cheat on us or be manipulative, have some emotional issue that we will have no clue how to solve, expect us to consume copious amounts of alcohol, or become fed up with us for "not understanding them". Take your pick...



JM2008
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17 Oct 2008, 3:15 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Nah, but in all seriousness, don't disregard NT girls out of hand. So many guys here are doing this, and I think that it's a mistake. NT girls can be amazing gf's and you shouldn't disregard them just because they're different.


No, many of the guys here (myself included) are more likely to disregard an NT woman because she's more likely to cheat on us or be manipulative, have some emotional issue that we will have no clue how to solve, expect us to consume copious amounts of alcohol, or become fed up with us for "not understanding them". Take your pick...


you sound correct there, NT girls have screwed my head a few times :@



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17 Oct 2008, 3:38 pm

Go to a bar and look around for the girl who is sitting by herself reading or scribbling in a notebook.....except...she probably won't want to be bothered.... :wink:


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ToadOfSteel
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17 Oct 2008, 4:36 pm

poopylungstuffing wrote:
Go to a bar and look around for the girl who is sitting by herself reading or scribbling in a notebook.....except...she probably won't want to be bothered.... :wink:


Well then why would she be going to a bar? :P



Rebecca_L
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17 Oct 2008, 5:47 pm

My daughter in law is NT. She's the sweetest, most supportive person I've known in a long time. She's put up with more of my son's Aspie issues than I do, and I'm an Aspie too. She's pretty awesome.



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17 Oct 2008, 6:13 pm

I'm a bit too much of a conservative culture/genes freak (not conservative about anything else).
I just don't believe it would be in the worlds best interest for me to have offspring with an NT woman. Then again, the world is so out of control I might as well not care.



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17 Oct 2008, 6:34 pm

Rebecca_L wrote:
My daughter in law is NT. She's the sweetest, most supportive person I've known in a long time. She's put up with more of my son's Aspie issues than I do, and I'm an Aspie too. She's pretty awesome.

What's her name/number? 8)



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17 Oct 2008, 7:39 pm

Rebecca_L wrote:
My daughter in law is NT. She's the sweetest, most supportive person I've known in a long time. She's put up with more of my son's Aspie issues than I do, and I'm an Aspie too. She's pretty awesome.


It sounds like you raised her well... I tend to notice that people raised alongside autistics, regardless of their own status on the spectrum, tend to be more understanding of autistics, which is consistent with the idea that most issues concerning autistic/NT communication stem from ignorance and/or misunderstanding.



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17 Oct 2008, 8:16 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
poopylungstuffing wrote:
Go to a bar and look around for the girl who is sitting by herself reading or scribbling in a notebook.....except...she probably won't want to be bothered.... :wink:


Well then why would she be going to a bar? :P


To observe people, for inspiration from the atmosphere, simply to experience the environment. Maybe just to buy a few drinks and relax in an upbeat environment. I could go on forever. And if she is dancing, maybe she is dancing to be one with herself and the lights and the music, and would really really resent some guy invading her one-ness and peace within herself to grind himself against her...

As you probably can tell, it irritates me that I can't go out at night without a mass of guys assuming I'm out to be picked up.


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18 Oct 2008, 2:45 am

JM2008 wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Nah, but in all seriousness, don't disregard NT girls out of hand. So many guys here are doing this, and I think that it's a mistake. NT girls can be amazing gf's and you shouldn't disregard them just because they're different.


No, many of the guys here (myself included) are more likely to disregard an NT woman because she's more likely to cheat on us or be manipulative, have some emotional issue that we will have no clue how to solve, expect us to consume copious amounts of alcohol, or become fed up with us for "not understanding them". Take your pick...


you sound correct there, NT girls have screwed my head a few times :@


NT guy have screwed with more than my head, more than a few times. People give me flack for 'blaming they guys' a lot but I have never been raped by a girl, so I guess I wasn't a equal opportunity victim.

Merle


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18 Oct 2008, 10:53 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Ive had a good idea,

Join a local aspie support group (real life) if there is not one , start one up. Im sure your national autistic society will give you advice and support on it.

Ive heard of a few people who met at support groups so I think its a good idea, and unlike online you can see if you fancy them and have the right chemistry.

I think I might contact my local group for kids and get them to help me set up an adult group in my area :D



If you set up an Aspie group near you I have a special tipp:
I found that aspie-groups that meet in the evening are generally males-only, while a group meeting in the afternoon (at daylight!) has mostly female visitors!