Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics

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pbcoll
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18 Oct 2008, 2:58 pm

veruniel wrote:

The trouble with lists like this is that there will always be exceptions. If you're in an academic environment, you will meet plenty of women who enjoy talking about weightier subjects like politics and religion.

Huh? I'm an academic environment and most people (especially men but also most girls) are of vomit-inducing frivolity when it comes to anything other than their course/job. The most intellectual person in the place is probably the porter. At another university, a guy told me that he would never, ever do anything in is spare time remotely intellectual or cultured, because that would make him a nerd. You're more likely to have conversations about Big Brother than about politics or religion (unless you include the Shilpa Shetty row).

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spacephrawg
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28 Jul 2009, 8:17 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Okay, you asked for it...

NT men's top 10 conversation topics:
1 ) Penis size
2 ) Penis size
3 ) Penis size
4 ) Penis size
5 ) Penis size
6 ) Penis size
7 ) Penis size
8 ) Penis size
9 ) Penis size
10) One's car

I once played this back to a friend-girl (not girlfriend) i know and she was stunned how open some guys are with that.

[edited by DW_a_mom for inappropriate content]

DeaconBlues
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28 Jul 2009, 1:11 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Is it too much to ask for a woman to talk about Existentionalism, Quantum Physics, or Star Trek with me? You know, things in life that matter (unlike "what clothes I'm wearing")?

Sorry, dude, I married her already.

You realize, of course, that when NT guys talk about their cars, their salaries, and their workout routines, they're still just discussing their penises. (I used to work for an automobile auction house, driving cars to the auction house from the releasing car lot, or to a buying car lot from the AH. We'd make the other part of the trip in a company van. One day, the woman driving the van, after being cut off by a man in a Lincoln Continental, began speaking at length about how the bigger and more powerful a man's car is, the more he's compensating for a small penis. Then she asked what kind of car I drove. I answered, truthfully, "A used Geo Metro." She was strangely quiet after that...)

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ToadOfSteel
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28 Jul 2009, 2:06 pm

Thanks for resurrecting some rambling bull**** I spoke of back in october...

laura123
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28 Jul 2009, 3:57 pm

I went to a course about communication. They said that there are 4 levels of communication.

First is the greeting 'Hi, how are you?' 'Good. How are you?' 'What a nice day today...etc. When somebody asks how you are in this context they are NOT interested to know what's going on in your life.

The second level is when people talk about facts, what they do for a living, how many kids they have, what car they drive, is Angelina back with Brad, etc. The first 2 levels of communication are shallow, they are ment to check people out, to see if there is a vibe there (not always erotic), if people conect and if they are compatible.

To get to the 3rd level you need trust, it means that there is a compatibility there because at this level you reveal who you are, you give something personal in the conversation. The 3rd level is when people talk about opinions, about what they think about the world, their view about things that matter. It gives deepnest to the relationship, it becames more personal, more involved.

The 4th level of communication is about feelings, it is the most intimate and personal level of communication and needs a lot of trust and a strong conexion and compatibility to get there. Only here the question 'how are you?' really means that they want to know how you are.

Most of the communication a person makes stays in the first 2 levels. Only with a few people communication can be taken to the 3rd level and if the person is lucky he/she may have 1-2 people that can communicate at the 4th level with.

I hope this helps.

Janissy
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28 Jul 2009, 4:33 pm

DollyJupiter wrote:

I think what you are trying to do here is nice-- it seems that you are attempting to provide a resource by which aspie men can find ideas for starting a conversation with women. However, these sort of "what women want/do not want" top ten lists do women a disservice, as they perpetuate sterotypes as some sort of verifiable fact. Firstly, where are you getting this data? Your profile indicates that you are male. Did you interview females? If so, how many?

And what is this "women's least favorite topic of conversation is politics"? Come on now. Women cannot be catagorized like this. We are just as diverse as men. From what I have seen on this particular forum, this seems to be a common point of misunderstanding.

Again, it seems to me that your intentions are good. And some of the adivice I think is helpful. One of society's silly little rules is that religion/politics are big no-nos for conversation with those you don't know well. But phrasing it as "what women do/ do not want to talk about" makes it seem like this is just some caprice of the female population and not society's problem in general.

What she said.

Seriously.

GoatOnFire
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28 Jul 2009, 6:51 pm

Politics is my mother's very favorite subject to talk about. She even wears me out with it and I like to talk about it.

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Hector
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28 Jul 2009, 9:10 pm

A lot of people I know hate to talk about politics. It's one of the least favourite topics of conversation among Irish people, especially since every other person quietly holds strong opinions about a range of political and historical issues - many of which I suspect have passed down through their family generation-by-generation, and have a sort of sacred air to them that allows them to evade sensible arguments. A lot of this may be cultural, however. A German woman I know said that she considered the best subject a guy could lie about studying in order to sleep with a girl to be "political science", much to my disbelief.

GoatOnFire
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29 Jul 2009, 12:04 am

She holds very strong opinions on politics. And she likes to share those opinions with anyone who will listen. I get the feeling that she's one of the people who makes other people not like to talk about politics.

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Janissy
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29 Jul 2009, 5:44 am

Hector wrote:

If a group of people are trying to converse with one another the larger the group is, the more likely the conversation is to reach the lowest common denominator as far as interests goes - just something that everyone presumably follows or is aware of. If it's a special interest group, it might be to do with their special interest but if not it'd very often be quite mundane or gossipy. I always saw that as being more an effort to include everyone, like how my German friends in college last year switched to English whenever I approached.

You are absolutely right. I've engaged in shaloow banter. I've engaged in deep conversations. I can flip flop between them and actually so can the majority of people I've talked to. The size of the group is a factor. So is what relationship the people have with each other. Probably the biggest factor is location. A political debate that is appropriate for the pub is not appropriate for work (unless you work in politics) but talking about "safe" topics like TV is. A group gathered together for their special interest will, like you said, talk about either their special interest or mundane gossipy stuff. Efforts to include everyone will necessarily make a conversation more mundane although once a group finds its rythm, weightier things can be discussed.

There is also the "heart on your sleeve" effect. Opening up about weighty topics can put you in a vulnerable position. To discuss things of great importance necessarily reveals vulnerabilities that you have that mundane topics don't reveal. So such discussions are postponed for a more intimate setting...or until enough alcohol has been consumed for some people to let down their guard.

Janissy
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29 Jul 2009, 5:51 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

LePetitPrince wrote:

sunshower wrote:

I really really really want to debate you guys here and defend the majority of NT women from being called shallow (according to your definition of shallow).. but I'm afraid I can't really find a leg to stand on here. It goes against the grain to say this, but I think you might be right. Of course I've got a lot of girlfriends who are not shallow at all, but put a largish group of girls together and wham! I'll generally go running for the hills. Thus I either have groups of friends that are just guys, or mixed groups of friends.

Of course I would love to learn how to appreciate conversation about make-up, clothes, and guys better, as I believe it's important to learn all types of information in life to lead a rich and varied existence.

you should replace the word 'guys' with ToadOfSteel, don't use the word guy in the plural form please.

Is it too much to ask for a woman to talk about Existentionalism, Quantum Physics, or Star Trek with me? You know, things in life that matter (unlike "what clothes I'm wearing")?

Yes, it is. Unless she is an existentialist Star Trek fan with an interest in quantum physics. Star Trek is no more deep than any other TV show. Existentialism and quantum physics are deep, but rather odd discussions to have with somebody you don't know very well unless you are drunk. Talking about Star Trek is as shallow as talking about any other TV show. There can be deep discussions about it, but there can also be deep discussions about any TV show, reality TV included. In the end, Star Trek doesn't actually matter any more than the clothes you are wearing. It may actually matter less, if the person you are talking to has strong opinions about child labor and economic globalization- topics that your clothes bring up if you choose to go there.

RingRider
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29 Jul 2009, 11:27 am

Quote:

Is it too much to ask for a woman to talk about Existentionalism, Quantum Physics, or Star Trek with me? You know, things in life that matter (unlike "what clothes I'm wearing")?

I can't tell, is this supposed to be sarcasm? It could be serious except that it implied Star Trek "matters". For that matter how does Existentialism matter either? Maybe Matter should be interesting, though in that case it's still very subjective. And odds are Star Trek fails at that too.

roadGames
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29 Jul 2009, 5:30 pm

laura123 wrote:

This is dead on.

I RARELY get beyond the 2nd level and I realized this intuitively a week or so ago. Pretty sure I've never gotten to the 4th level, because from there, physical is not a really big leap. I think most AS guys probably get stuck at level 2, and it's exactly because we've got such one track minds that are best suited for talking about facts and not feelings, since they're not something we're very attuned to. It makes us come off as very serious when we aren't really intending to be. It's funny how I can joke with my male friends no problem, but only like three girls I've known get my humor, and then still, it's sort of logical humor and more about incongruities between facts than feeling based humor.

sg33
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29 Jul 2009, 6:40 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

NT Women's top 10 conversation topics:

1 ) Shallow, pointless banter
2 ) Shallow, pointless banter
3 ) Shallow, pointless banter
4 ) Shallow, pointless banter
5 ) Shallow, pointless banter
6 ) Shallow, pointless banter
7 ) Shallow, pointless banter
8 ) Shallow, pointless banter
9 ) Shallow, pointless banter
10) Shallow, pointless banter

Sexist, woman-hater! misogynist!

and stop covering your misogyny by the NT label.

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