Samara wrote:
Toadofsteel if its of any help this is of some of my experience and how i feel. By the way i havnt had that many bf's or experience, not in comparison to some girls or women;
If it makes you feel better, just know that I've never had an actual girlfriend. Not a one...
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Im am never joining no dating club. I guess i could. Its just it seems weird to me and i think i was a robot.
It would feel like i was being a robot and I might have autism but i dont like being restrained or repressed like a robot when it comes to dating. I'd rather be spontaneous. Like you meet some one, some where or through a friend whatever and they look at you and then you look at them and you know from that moment
Feeling like a robot may not even be the autism at all, but more related to the rigid social structure set up to govern dating. It's very methodical (and adversarial, I might add), but it leaves no room for a person to be themselves. That's why you need to find, at the very least, an unconventional person.
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there is something special. Thats it, its that twinkle in their eyes and its sexy. Then my eyes sparkle back and they grin. I love it, that look. It so intense. I think one of my bf's smile was so beautiful and one of my bf's said i had one of the cutest smile he had ever seen on a girl.
These are features that are generally augmented in the mind of someone who is in love.
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People say i should smile more often because sometimes I am kind of serious or in a bad mood, just a little bit. I dont know if that is an aspie trait. Like having that serious discerning look or fixed expression. I know when i am happy. I always smile.
Well I've noticed that in most situations, any picture taken of me looks like a mugshot, even when I am happy. But I've learned that aspies show that they're happy in other ways than their face. For example, when I'm generally happy, my voice generally gets lower and more relaxed (unless I'm excited in which case the opposite happens).
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I dont know how or why i get in that happy mood, all day I am floating around like a feather smiling at everyone. Why am i like that and other times so opposite. It doesnt make sense and my mood swings really affect my life in that i feel i cant make any committments or keep in regular contact even with close friends.
I don't think that mood swings can prevent those kinds of things. You just need to find the right people. If a man truly loves you, he will accept that you are in a good mood some times and in a bad mood other times...
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Can any other aspies relate to this. I havnt felt secure to develop a relationship with no one in case i get in a really bad mood. That isnt fair to the other person and when i am feeling like that I want them to go away. Maybe even for a week and i am not bothering explaining how i am feeling and meeting their emotional needs when i am not feeling like being caring.
Well, according to your profile page, you
are an aspie, and as such, you probably have problems making sense of any emotional situations. My advice would be one of the tricks I do: if you're feeling overwhelmed for any reason, tell your bf that you need to be left alone for a while, that you will tell him when you're ready to be social again, and just keep to yourself for a while. If your bf knows about AS and is an overall understanding guy, he will accept this and leave you alone for the duration.
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I dont think i have always been like that but this year has been different and i have had no one but myself to get upset by. It's stupid. Going round and round in circles with a relationship with myself, in my head cause i dont wanna screw up some one else Its really boring and every guy i meet that shows interest i might to them too and then i just go cold cause all of sudden I am not in the mood and i dont wanna have a bf no more. I guess this is going to take me awhile to work out. I am just hope i am feeling back to being more myself next year because really Ive had enough!
If your mood swings are incredibly wild and extreme, you may want to consider getting that checked out. I used to have wild mood swings (i.e. going from happy to pissed off in 2.3 seconds is my record), but then I was put on prozac for 2 years and now, even though I've been off it for 3 more years, I still don't have mood swings to the extent that I did (and I can better control them)...
In any case, as I said before, if you find a guy that is understanding enough, he won't judge you based on that. If you ever need to talk to a guy to help understand the male mind or just to talk if you're feeling lonely, feel free to send me a pm...
10 Dec 2008, 11:19 am
