This topic requires attention. Please. It's about a girl.
An update. I have since done the "hanging out" again. Discussion in detail about matters of importance rather than mindless chit-chat was main topic. She gave me a stimulating conversation. I highly appreciated that. She complimented me on some of my outlandish traits. Mainly the way I relay my perceptions of the world. From my observations, I have found that she is introverted to an extent. In some aspects, more so than I. Which is comforting. And unusual. We slept in the same bed. No sexual intercourse. Just making out. I'm hoping for a long-term relationship. I have only dated three girls my entire life. Through this last outing. I gained a sense of courage to proceed with the next step. The next day. I timidly asked via text messaging if she would be interested in going to see a movie. She replied instantly with a yes. We now have a date by my definition and Merriam-Websters definition of date for next weekend.
Airborne
Snowy Owl
Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
Location: United States Of America
Ill warn you...take my advice with a grain of salt...but the most logical thing to do is "Hang out" which is just like a date without all the formal crap...you talk casually but I would push for a real date after that or maybe ask what kind of places she likes to hang out or go on dates at.
DaLoCo
Raven
Joined: 4 Jan 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: South Africa, also known as a galaxy far far away
[sunshower wrote:
Do you know any equivalent sites for male body language? ]
Uh, Sunshower....with men it is lot easier to tell......... if he drools or protrudes, you have a winner
Sorry, just being naughty here.........
If you are into this girl, see her again. She definitely is into you. Do not try to set a schedule for this to happen. I see a lot of AS people try to schedule the progress of a relationship, simply because of the difficulties we have. I would however try and find a way for her to understand your dificulty in interpreting social signals. She might interpret your reluctance as "not interested".
If you are into this girl, see her again. She definitely is into you. Do not try to set a schedule for this to happen. I see a lot of AS people try to schedule the progress of a relationship, simply because of the difficulties we have. I would however try and find a way for her to understand your dificulty in interpreting social signals. She might interpret your reluctance as "not interested".
Everything has been going relatively smooth. She calls me and sends me text messages daily. She called the other night and told me that she wished I were with her (she took a trip out of town). She also told me that she missed me. One of my friends who is NT told me that in her mind. We are in fact dating. Even though it has been left unsaid.
I have been given the chance to slip in the details regarding my AS characteristics into conversations. She knows me to an extent. She asked what I was doing the other day. I told her to guess. She nailed it. She knows I like my alone time. She knows my routine.
She asked me to see a movie with her and one of her friends. She picked me up and walked into the restaurant I was in. My mother, father and brother all there. This surprised me.
I observed her twisting her fingers when we first sat down. The movie just starting. She did this for around 15 minutes. She reminds me of myself in ways.
If we progress into a new level. When that time comes. Where there are formal designations when introductions with friends are used. When I say, "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend." Is this the time to tell her about AS? I don't know if I can tell her or if I should. The only people who know I have it are my family.
I would say don't mention the AS, because she will think it's something that's a bigger deal than it really is, and honestly, she already knows you and your habits, so it would be like overexplaining yourself or making excuses. I'm not saying don't tell her eventually, but why weigh the relationship down at this point with medical/neurological issues? I mean, the relationship is just starting, there's plenty of time for that later if it gets really serious. Others here might disagree, but I just feel like it would be too much of "this is what's wrong with me" rather than just enjoying the time together and discovering what you like about eachother. If you have a fight or some kind of major misunderstanding later, maybe that would be the time to whip out the "I'm AS and this is why I do X" card.
From what you've written,
1) She kissed you
2) She sends you daily text messages
3) She asked you to hang out with her again
Sounds like pretty solid ground to proceed. So ask her out and take her on a date. Problem solved.
we're supposed to do body language as well?
No site needed, it's not that complicated. Not subtle at all like women, we have almost none of that guile.
1. He talks to you all the time
2. He looks at you all the time
3. He's near you all the time
4. He stares at your cleavage when he talks to you... all the time.
5. He touches you when he talks to you...all the time
6. He stammers and turns red when he talks to you
Nough said. He likes you.
we're supposed to do body language as well?
No site needed, it's not that complicated. Not subtle at all like women, we have almost none of that guile.
1. He talks to you all the time
2. He looks at you all the time
3. He's near you all the time
4. He stares at your cleavage when he talks to you... all the time.
5. He touches you when he talks to you...all the time
6. He stammers and turns red when he talks to you
Nough said. He likes you.
Be aware that some men don't do #4 and #5 out of respect for women.
Also, #6 is primarily a younger/nervous thing. Not something I'd look for as a sign though.
we're supposed to do body language as well?
No site needed, it's not that complicated. Not subtle at all like women, we have almost none of that guile.
1. He talks to you all the time
2. He looks at you all the time
3. He's near you all the time
4. He stares at your cleavage when he talks to you... all the time.
5. He touches you when he talks to you...all the time
6. He stammers and turns red when he talks to you
Nough said. He likes you.
Be aware that some men don't do #4 and #5 out of respect for women.
Also, #6 is primarily a younger/nervous thing. Not something I'd look for as a sign though.
Of course, YMMV -- but 2 or 3 out of the above is a good indicator.