What is love?

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Like any emotion people experience it differently. Well lets face it people experience anger differently so why does love have to be any different. For me it is very uplifting and positive for 99% of time and the other 1% it can hurt. Pretty good balance, so works well.
Acutally, whilst society prevents me to be too vocal about it - I love myself a lot. I am very ok with who I am, so it is easy to love others - without hinging every bit of my happiness on them - at they end of the day they are just people and life is hard on them too. You cut people a lot of slack (without compromising your own selfrespect) - most people will love you back! BTW you can slap me! I have a feeling I have gone into my hippy mode (A close friend recently pointed this out - that I am a hippy in my beahviour - not appearance I am sure that must be annoying!


True but then every emotion is linked back to chemicals being released into our brains! My philosphy - it makes me feel great - so who cares if it is due to some chemicals - besides I would have to eat silly amounts of chocolate to get the same elation (even though it is the same chemicals)!
Confession - I eat chocolate anyway! It tastes so good!

Last edited by Jwa on 21 Jan 2009, 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's exactly what came to mind when I saw this topic.

Actually the first thing that came to mind was this:



but the original would be what more people would recognize, so I posted that...

I think it's literally all in our heads, our brains specifically. Everything we feel emotionally (and physically) is the result of the different chemical levels in our brain. I don't believe there's some magical explanation, like the whole soul mate theory. We meet people we're attracted to, the bells go off and our innate mating instincts kick in. I think "love" is just something human society created to romanticize those instincts.

Just my two cents.

This has to be the best definition I've ever read.

Love is like the Dark Knight, it's extremely overrated.

Love is 80% conscious choice and 20% emotion. It changes in character as it grows older (longer relationships). The emotion is a mixture of lust and need.

There is a song that goes "Love is not a feeling, it's an act of your will. It's devotion not emotion and it surely will fulfill"

To love another person is to actually make certain choices with regards to their needs. If this is reciprocated, there will be a healthy relationship. I never trust just the emotional side of love, but it is a good indicator for me to decide whether I am willing to make the necessary choices regarding a possible relationship.

If all else fails, I am with Jwa on chocolate therapy......

All my boyfriends said they was in love with me but I dont beleive them because I didn't really love them - except for one. It was so sad we can't be together. Love does mean everything and you should never let your heart rule your head.

Very profound DaLoCo! Very profound! I like your style!

You're could said defectual brain

On a factual basis you are quite right. But at the same time you will note that not everybody is attracted to the same person. We are completely diverse in our selection of possible mates. This alone counts for a measure of mystery. Yes, even on a christian advice site I saw someone break down the chemistry of love, but also know that, as with normal chemicals, your body builds up a resistance. Ever heard of the seven year itch.....most couples hit a stage, from about three to seven years where they get used to the release of chemicals. This is where the conscious choice to love comes in. Love then has a lot less to do with chemicals, and a lot more with satisfaction and fulfillment.

I have learnt to not delve too deep into certain things, if only to keep the mystery. Otherwise I fear i might turn into a bitter recluse who has stopped seeing the wonder of things around me. I cannot imagine seeing a picture of a beatifull girl/ horse/ lion....whatever and not stop my thoughts to appreciate what I have just seen. I will always, for my own sake, keep love as something mystical, magical. But as I posted before, the act of love is by my choice, and is lot less dictated by the emotions I am experiencing.

Thank you kindly.....

what is love? baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

Three weeks ago, I would have agreed. Thitherto, my only experiences with love had been coincident with a strong mating instinct. Playing lose with the term "love" to include lust or infatuation, I still experience love in that manner. But I appear to be experiencing a different form of love, marked not by sexual desire but rather an overwhelming desire to see the object of my love happy. This is the part I have found confusing.

I apparently have long-standing, rather deep feelings for a woman. But I never felt any "chemistry" with her. Even though she is, objectively, very desirable, I never found her especially so. It took me a decade and one failed marriage to work out this much. But I do appear to love her in a selfless manner, which is quite at odds with how I am, typically. So I'm coming at it from a different angle. It is okay to de-romanticize how I feel about her, which is not so easy, but I'm making progress.

So I think there is more to it than mere mating instincts, though I cannot argue effectively against physio-chemical reductionism of a more general sort.

^ That is so true. It is when you love and respect that person as your best friend and you really care for each other. When you have sex with some one like that - that is called making love and is so beautiful. Nothing turns me on more. They are gentle and so passionate it is an expression of how much they care for you.

^ You got that right, BellaDonna.