Being compared to an ex

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She wouldn't see me for who I was, just for how I couldn't serve her.

I don't want to be seen as someone's personal concierge.

She doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs a sub...sounds like the whips and chains type. She might be looking for the kind of guy who will wait on her.

On to the next one, there's got to be other women out there.

He did have a car he just drove without a lisence until his mother wrecked it and then his step dad fixed it and he didn't want to drive and get his lisence. He said it was cheaper if I take him to places. He wanted me to be his cab driver.

He had his car at his parents house and his had excuses to not use it. I wasn't clear enough before because I forgot to mention he didn't have a car with him because he left it at his parents when he moved in with me. He was motivated to get his licence so he can drive and then he went onto saying I would have to take him anyway to work and had an excuse and then went onto saying it's cheaper if I take him to places than him getting his lisence and driving. He played me like a fiddle. Well what good does it do to impress a woman by being something you are not? You are going to lose her anyway if you do go back to your old self so you will mind as well be yourself from the start so you know if the woman accepts you or not.

We were both 20 years old.

In a nutshell, I got shot down because she judged me based on some ridiculous generalization she made.

I am a very nice person, I am independent, I am going to have my Bachelor's degree in December, I am hard-working, physically fit, I take care of myself, I know what career I want and where I want to be in life, I am responsible, I have a place of my own, I have 5 years of work experience...but I got turned down because I couldn't live in a certain place at a certain time (but would have if I could).

I can relate to being compared to an ex..... and it hurts... I don't often discuss it for that reason

If an ex was abusive, or used drugs, or whatever, I can understand. But my friend compared me to him because I didn't live in her immediate area.

That would be like me turning someone down, and comparing her to an ex-girlfriend, simply because she didn't live in San Marcos, Texas.

Then it's her problem.

I had virtually no say in things. Everything had to be her way.

When one person doesn't want to be in a relationship, there is nothing you can do or say to change that or make them stay. Some things, we don't get a voice in.


M.

So, explain again why you wanted to be with her in the first place?
You've got two threads going at once.
Firstly complaining that she ditched you because you were like an ex of hers, then complaining about how she treated you.

It is human nature to compare. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence etc.
Lots of people compare their current partner to their ex(s), most however do it inside their heads.
Remember also that there are three sides to comparison. You can compare the same, better or worse.

Sounds like you are in a better position now. Move on and hope things go better in the next attempt.

I am always willing to negotiate, as long as it doesn't involve selling my soul.

I can related being compared to an ex... but I don't let it bother me anymore... it's his problem not mine.