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giving up on dating and making friends (for the most part)

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Space
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23 Feb 2009, 11:23 pm

I have a few decent friends. I just don't see them much because they are so busy working or with their significant other. I am trying to make new ones, but I dunno where to go anymore. I started going to church, but I haven't figured that out yet. When I get a new job I'm sure I'll make a few friends along the way, it will be hard not to. I'm chatting with some girls on plenty of fish, maybe something will work this time. I just don't know who I am anymore in life, and am trying on hats till I get one that fits :/



Tohlagos
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25 Feb 2009, 8:55 pm

Space wrote:
I'm chatting with some girls on plenty of fish, maybe something will work this time. I just don't know who I am anymore in life, and am trying on hats till I get one that fits :/



I hope something works out for you.



jawbrodt
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25 Feb 2009, 10:22 pm

Thoughts? I have gone though every stage that you've described, and eventually came to the same conclusion. Life is easier when you don't give a s**t. As strange as this sounds, I've had more luck attracting women when I wasn't trying, then when I was. Maybe it drives them nuts to see that you're happy alone, and want to try to show you different? I don't know, but I've been happier not caring so much, so I guess I'll keep with what's working. :)


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billsmithglendale
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25 Feb 2009, 10:48 pm

jawbrodt wrote:
Thoughts? I have gone though every stage that you've described, and eventually came to the same conclusion. Life is easier when you don't give a sh**. As strange as this sounds, I've had more luck attracting women when I wasn't trying, then when I was. Maybe it drives them nuts to see that you're happy alone, and want to try to show you different? I don't know, but I've been happier not caring so much, so I guess I'll keep with what's working. :)


Sure, it's like a cat. Cats might come over and let you pet them -- or they might not. Unlike dogs, which practically beg for attention (and thus are held in contempt by the rest of the non-Western world, though we at least value them for what they are), cats are cool customers, and do what they like. They make it quite clear that they don't need you to be happy, and if they do let you pet them, it's as much for their enjoyment as yours, if not more so.



jawbrodt
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25 Feb 2009, 10:58 pm

^Excellent analogy. 8)


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Space
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26 Feb 2009, 1:17 am

Tohlagos wrote:
Space wrote:
I'm chatting with some girls on plenty of fish, maybe something will work this time. I just don't know who I am anymore in life, and am trying on hats till I get one that fits :/



I hope something works out for you.

Actually plentyoffish is probably the worst way you can go. There's so many things wrong with it, it's not even funny. f**k it all.



Space
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26 Feb 2009, 1:20 am

jawbrodt wrote:
Thoughts? I have gone though every stage that you've described, and eventually came to the same conclusion. Life is easier when you don't give a sh**. As strange as this sounds, I've had more luck attracting women when I wasn't trying, then when I was. Maybe it drives them nuts to see that you're happy alone, and want to try to show you different? I don't know, but I've been happier not caring so much, so I guess I'll keep with what's working. :)

I think so too. My strategy is just to stop caring, and get so busy in my own life that I don't have time for a woman anymore, then I'll actually get one.



MissConstrue
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26 Feb 2009, 1:49 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
jawbrodt wrote:
Thoughts? I have gone though every stage that you've described, and eventually came to the same conclusion. Life is easier when you don't give a sh**. As strange as this sounds, I've had more luck attracting women when I wasn't trying, then when I was. Maybe it drives them nuts to see that you're happy alone, and want to try to show you different? I don't know, but I've been happier not caring so much, so I guess I'll keep with what's working. :)


Sure, it's like a cat. Cats might come over and let you pet them -- or they might not. Unlike dogs, which practically beg for attention (and thus are held in contempt by the rest of the non-Western world, though we at least value them for what they are), cats are cool customers, and do what they like. They make it quite clear that they don't need you to be happy, and if they do let you pet them, it's as much for their enjoyment as yours, if not more so.


Word! Image

A cat is always a spinster's best friend but you got to earn it! :shameonyou:


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aka010101
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27 Feb 2009, 1:00 am

I actually only have half the problem. I have HUGE problems making friends, but the ones i do make, i stick with for years at a time. MY huge problem is that, because i have such a huge problem meeting new people, my odds of actually forming any sort of romantic relationship are pretty much zero. (Although one of my friends strongly disagrees with this, she's optimistic.)

So yeah, pretty much on the edge of giving up on the whole romance thing altogether. The only reason i HAVEN'T is part of me can't seem to give up hope on it. :(



Tohlagos
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27 Feb 2009, 1:08 am

Space wrote:
My strategy is just to stop caring, and get so busy in my own life that I don't have time for a woman anymore, then I'll actually get one.


Good of you to have a plan. When I was in such a situation I just brooded for a long time over it all. I wasted a lot of time on thinking about something that really is not required to survive.



Learning2Survive
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27 Feb 2009, 1:07 pm

aka010101 wrote:
I actually only have half the problem. I have HUGE problems making friends, but the ones i do make, i stick with for years at a time. MY huge problem is that, because i have such a huge problem meeting new people, my odds of actually forming any sort of romantic relationship are pretty much zero. (Although one of my friends strongly disagrees with this, she's optimistic.)

So yeah, pretty much on the edge of giving up on the whole romance thing altogether. The only reason i HAVEN'T is part of me can't seem to give up hope on it. :(


Me too, how can I keep meeting new people and making a connection with them? Should I exchange emails, send them birthday cards, go to events together, etc? - my problem is worse than average. I have never had any friends. Do not have friendly/interesting personality no matter how hard I try. I see overweight and unemployed and undereducated guys with great (and average looking) wives and they enjoy life together so much. Why can't I too?



Space
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27 Feb 2009, 8:58 pm

Tohlagos wrote:
Space wrote:
My strategy is just to stop caring, and get so busy in my own life that I don't have time for a woman anymore, then I'll actually get one.


Good of you to have a plan. When I was in such a situation I just brooded for a long time over it all. I wasted a lot of time on thinking about something that really is not required to survive.

Oh that will kill you/drive you insane. I have to be doing... something. Right now, I am obsessed with getting my schoolwork done. And getting a job. I have to be working or I go insane from sitting on my ass wondering why my life sucks and I'm alone.



Tohlagos
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06 Mar 2009, 1:31 am

Space wrote:
Tohlagos wrote:
Space wrote:
My strategy is just to stop caring, and get so busy in my own life that I don't have time for a woman anymore, then I'll actually get one.


Good of you to have a plan. When I was in such a situation I just brooded for a long time over it all. I wasted a lot of time on thinking about something that really is not required to survive.

Oh that will kill you/drive you insane. I have to be doing... something. Right now, I am obsessed with getting my schoolwork done. And getting a job. I have to be working or I go insane from sitting on my ass wondering why my life sucks and I'm alone.



If I may, once you get into a job/career that you like, I know of a "hobbie" that is good for the rest of your life: investing. I have found it to be a lot of fun and very time consuming.

... and excuse the long delay in replying to this.



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06 Mar 2009, 3:11 am

I wish I didn't give a s**t. But I can't let go of the delusion that I will eventually find love. Sure there are young college girls that have been flirting with me as of late but I do not want to be involved with them, especially if they are into the kind of stuff I think they are. Besides, I'm attracted to women with a mature frame of mind, not necessarily older, which all the ones around my neck of the woods are married.


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