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Tahitiii
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17 Feb 2009, 4:41 pm

There's no need to dissect it.
She intended it as an insult.



drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 4:46 pm

I know, I'm just curious about general public opinion on the double standard.



MissConstrue
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17 Feb 2009, 5:43 pm

^As for double standard...originally I would've posted it as insulting. But humans are so strange in what they find as offensive and what they find as not offensive.

I too hate double standards...


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Glencannon
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17 Feb 2009, 5:56 pm

drowbot0181 wrote:
I wasn't sure where else to put this. In an online chat where my wife was flirting with this guy, she and he kept referring to me as "whiteboy". Does that seem highly offensive to anybody, or just me?


I would be more offended that my WIFE was flirting with guys in an online chatroom.



drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 5:59 pm

Glencannon wrote:
drowbot0181 wrote:
I wasn't sure where else to put this. In an online chat where my wife was flirting with this guy, she and he kept referring to me as "whiteboy". Does that seem highly offensive to anybody, or just me?


I would be more offended that my WIFE was flirting with guys in an online chatroom.


Didn't say I wasn't... But I was curious about public opinion on the racial issue, not cheating. I know what the general public thinks about cheating (at least the NT public).



Glencannon
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17 Feb 2009, 6:06 pm

drowbot0181 wrote:
Glencannon wrote:
drowbot0181 wrote:
I wasn't sure where else to put this. In an online chat where my wife was flirting with this guy, she and he kept referring to me as "whiteboy". Does that seem highly offensive to anybody, or just me?


I would be more offended that my WIFE was flirting with guys in an online chatroom.


Didn't say I wasn't... But I was curious about public opinion on the racial issue, not cheating. I know what the general public thinks about cheating (at least the NT public).


Racial slurs are more about context than the words themselves. In this context I would be offended. However if some one were to call me white boy in a joking or sily manner then I would not be offended.



drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 6:08 pm

Glencannon wrote:
drowbot0181 wrote:
Glencannon wrote:
drowbot0181 wrote:
I wasn't sure where else to put this. In an online chat where my wife was flirting with this guy, she and he kept referring to me as "whiteboy". Does that seem highly offensive to anybody, or just me?


I would be more offended that my WIFE was flirting with guys in an online chatroom.


Didn't say I wasn't... But I was curious about public opinion on the racial issue, not cheating. I know what the general public thinks about cheating (at least the NT public).


Racial slurs are more about context than the words themselves. In this context I would be offended. However if some one were to call me white boy in a joking or sily manner then I would not be offended.


I've never heard it used in a non-derogatory context. Do you have an example? I can't think of one. :/



mitharatowen
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17 Feb 2009, 6:14 pm

I don't think I would be offended at the term itself. I would see it as descriptive. I am a white girl so why shouldn't I be called one?

But in the context I beleive it would be offensive because it seems like an attempt to dehumanize you and treat you like an object rather than a person.



aaronrey
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17 Feb 2009, 8:11 pm

why is your wife flirting with someone else



dougn
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17 Feb 2009, 9:52 pm

I read this whole thread before realizing who you were. Oops.

Anyway, I certainly think it is highly offensive.

Your wife should not be in a chat room talking about you with some other guy, let alone in such offensive terms.



MissConstrue
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17 Feb 2009, 10:13 pm

I think this should be taken to Divorce Court.


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makuranososhi
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18 Feb 2009, 1:01 am

As for the term itself, it isn't something I take personal offense with... though in the context of your wife flirting online I can see where it would be highly offensive. Racial discrimination is wrong, period. When people take it to eliminate description and adjective, it has the opportunity to run amok, but such is the nature of things. Hope things work out for you.


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dougn
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18 Feb 2009, 2:17 am

makuranososhi wrote:
As for the term itself, it isn't something I take personal offense with... though in the context of your wife flirting online I can see where it would be highly offensive.
In this case I really think it is about the context.

Never mind that I don't even think she should have been describing him at all in that situation (or have been in that situation altogether), choosing his race as a way to describe him does seem offensive.

I don't think "whiteboy" is in and of itself is considered offensive as "the n word" but in this context it's pretty disturbing in my opinion.



Sslaxx
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18 Feb 2009, 3:11 am

Why do I get the idea there are far more problems with this 'marriage' than an offensive term being used...


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billsmithglendale
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19 Feb 2009, 7:01 pm

The term itself is not necessarily offensive (it can be used endearingly, much like how Latino gangs use "Casper" as a gang member moniker to gently tease as a sign of affection), but the context makes it seem that way.

No need for anyone to further comment on the context it was used (cheating), the OP is clearly aware of the seriousness of the situation, but I imagine he is trying to figure out his wife's mindset and the reasons behind her cheating -- does she have a minority fetish, how does she feel about him, what's prompting this behavior, and how much contempt is in her labeling of him that way?