Why do couples fight so much?

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couples fight cus theyre two people in each others face all the time. every now and then there is a conflict of interest.

My question is: do they actually enjoy (pseudo-)fighting all the time? Does not fighting mean there's not actually much interaction/interest going on?

Dunno for the rest of the world, but it could have to do with some guys being "macho" and not willing to show weaknesses, even emotionnal ones? This in turn turns into alcoholism or tabagism and intensifies the conflicts between the couple. There can also be conjugal violence at this point.

This obviously needs to be backed up with some evidences or even sources before anybody goes on believing it unconditionally...

It depends on the couple. As pavel_filonov said, that is just how some people communicate. Some people have tendencies to start up drama when they are feeling lonely as a way to get attention. Others just plain don't get along

Hence why i said "Dunno for the rest of the world", because here in Quebec, we used to have a mostly rural society with religion ruling over (that was as far as the 1960s i think). After that, we made a fast forward to modernity. =/

People get stressed out. Whether this is connected to the relationship or not it can lead to fighting. Because you're together so much, people end up breaking down over the stress and when they're taking it out they accidentally focus it on the other person.

This seems to be a lot if it - when you're together a lot you start dumping stress on each other because they're there when you're stressed. It's not that you want to fight, its that you can't help fighting. Of course these fights aren't even always a bad thing because they help with learning to cope with yourself and the other person, and you cannot assume they'll be no fights in a long term relationship.

This is my experience from my 2 year relationship, but he's been my only boyfriend so I'm not the most experienced

cmaximus; nail, head, hit

Couples fight because they disagree about something. It is that simple. The severity of the fight, though is ruled by numerous factors and human traits. Most fights could be avoided entirely by the simple act of tolerating each others opinions and maybe discuss your views in a mature fashion.

If one of you refuses to tolerate an opinion, or react badly to one, the fight is on. And if you look at the situation closely, you'll know who triggered it. It'll always be the first person to raise his/her voice.


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my bf said true love should be like a fairy tale, never argue....never fighting, always perfect.....
is that true? me and my bf come from 2 different country (Im asia, he is american), 2 different family background......for him saying a fawl language its ok....for me its scary....

lately he said, what we have now its not a true love....but when i told him to find another girl he angry....

Some people just like to fight so they can make up later.

lol I cant believe I wrote that!

that was about 2 months before I started on a relationship after being single for 8 years.

Now (18 months later) I would say couples fight as humans are very annoying and its impossible to be around anyone for more than a brief period of time without wanting to stab them in the eye! lol

It's more fun than television?

there is no One Reason. i always wonder if couples who don't fight too much ever really manage to resolve their issues, or if one or the other is too passive.

This question makes no sense. What you need to ask is, why do people fight so much? Because it's not just in romantic relationships at all, it's with friends, family, co-workers, etc, and the reasons for each group fighting vary depending on the situation and the people involved.

Therefore, you're going at this from the wrong angle. It's not that couples argue a lot, it's that people argue a lot.

If you want to know exactly why couples specifically argue, then I can't answer that either, because as I noted above, it varies depending on the situation and the people involved.

Some couples don't argue at all whereas some argue every day.

If a couple argues a lot, though, and I mean a lot, then they probably shouldn't be a couple. I was in such a relationship before and stayed in it because I let my emotions beat logic, which I probably shouldn't have done.

Hubby and I never fight and none of us is passive or submissive. I'm very observant so I pay attention and initiate discussion before any misunderstandings or frustrations turn into a serious issue and the rule is never have such talks if one of us is in a bad mood and never get in a "me versus you" frame of mind. So it's usually just relaxing with a glass of nice wine and talk about stuff. We never raise the voice or use insults/slurs or dig up some old mistake to throw into the other's face. I can't remember ever being really upset or angry with him.

We don't see eye to eye on everything, but that's not a problem since we agree on the important things - as far as I'm concerned, discussion is not about convincing the other you're right and they're wrong and I like getting to understand in detail a different perspective and I can accept and even respect it even if I disagree. It's not personal for me. Does this make any sense?

There were similar discussions here in the past and I've got some shite for sharing my experience - people seem to think I lie or pretend or brag. I only answered here after noticing you were the one asking and I knew you won't react this way.

The issue taken ASS related, there is a lot of misunderstanding because communication is very often hampered by the missing of a lot of the communication.
Compared with an NT person i only "read" half of the non-verbal communication, wich is supposed to be 80% of the total.
Also my output is hampered, the emotional message I display is often not all the way correct with my intentions.

This leads to more misunderstandings and therefore more arguments.