Depressed

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AutisticMalcontent
Velociraptor

Joined: 29 May 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 459

21 Mar 2009, 11:42 pm

DustinWX wrote:

Yes, another one of these many topics of doom and gloom in this section of life.

So my depression spawns from a girl once again rejecting me last week. Ontop of that, I feel even though I'm 19 I'll be here when i'm 30 or 40 and be saying the same thing. Annoying.

Farthermore. I'm not sure if I should try with another girl, ever again.I mean the last thing I want to do is to make a girl uncomfortable, and im so awkward and have a weird accent or whatever.

Why should I even bother living?

Well I perfectly understand feeling romantically alone and feeling "Why do I even bother wasting my time with women?!". However, what I DON'T understand is you trying to make a correlation between being single and alone and wondering what's the point of living without romantic love.

I am 22 years old, and I've been rejected many times, however, not even once did I question the value of my life based on romantic success. Life, even with romantic love, has enough thrills and things to pass the time: Television, video games, movies, music, museums, and fine dining

Life also has meaning, especially if you're religious.

Here is my point- I know being single 19 years is a b***h, but you know, it isn't the rest of your life. You still have a lot of years left to go, so do I. But don't let loneliness become the main focus of your life, just keep yourself preoccupied with various things and loneliness will lose its sting. If not, keep trying, and you'll hit pay dirt sometime.

DMark
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 21 Mar 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 54

22 Mar 2009, 12:33 am

You have to learn that life is worth living WITHOUT a significant other. I am 27 and have never had a girlfriend or even been on a "real "date. And that's almost definitely how it will always be.

If you look around you, most people are miserable in their relationships anyways, especially as they get older. Next time you're in a restaurant, notice how the older couples hardly talk to one another. Being single is very underrated. Enjoy your freedoms that most people don't have.

As for worrying about being weird or awkward, I understand completely how you feel. But if it hasn't happened to you already, realize that having a girl you like actually think you ARE a little shady, is way more traumatic than being single and looking at her longingly from afar and knowing it's never going to happen. Because that did happen to me when I was about your age and it was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. I tried to kill myself twice because of it (she doesn't know) and I was very, very lucky I was able to clear things up.

If you lack confidence in your ability to approach members of the opposite sex, remember that this comes off. If you're not ready, just don't do it. You're only going to get yourself hurt. And then when you are hurt you will wish you had never done it.

DustinWX
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

22 Mar 2009, 3:38 pm

DMark wrote:

This is what I needed to hear, thank you.

DustinWX
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

22 Mar 2009, 7:53 pm

Another point I want to ask, before I make the wrong decesion and regret it again. So I've known this girl sense last year, I tried to get her to hang out and she did once, but not again. I use to txt and fb her way to much, but rarely talk in real life . (bad habit), then I deleted her number. Well last week, I told her how I felt from last semester on facebook (lol, I know), and she was like oh that's sweet or whatever. She wouldn't give me her phone number again, but said to come sit with her and her buds at lunch to talk or whatever. So I'm really tempted to ask her, So from that message you sent me, did that mean that I don't have a chance with you? Despite this "urge", I feel like I will be seen as weird or worse and I don't need this. Should I just let it go and move on?

CerebralDreamer
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 516

22 Mar 2009, 8:05 pm

DustinWX wrote:

For now, yes. Are there any clubs you've thought about joining, but haven't? Go ahead and become an active member. I'm looking into joining the Sierra Club soon, because of the hiking. There's someone from that club coming out to my church next week to speak, and I intend to see about signing up then.

Women tend to desire a man who has everything together. As nice as a relationship can seem, now is not the time. There are too many other things you have to get in order first. It's a bit like various nesting animals, they won't get any mates until they've put everything together. In a man's case, his nest is his entire life, the clubs he belongs to, how well he feels about himself.

Admittedly, you don't have to be perfect, as nobody else is, but being better off than everyone else can be a major boost.

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