Why are Aspie Men Bitter Towards Women??

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Well just like the other thread, you guys seem to blame women for all your problems instead of looking at it from their perspective as well as your own.

I don't have it easy and get sick and tired of hearing how women are lucky in that they are either picky, accept abusive guys, sluts, b*****s, too emotional, not sympathetic enough, mentally immature.....etc.

I'm seeing way too much generalization going on just like the other threads. Honestly all you can do is sit here and gripe about that inferior gender. I've heard the same crap coming from NTs as well and most of them I wouldn't consider "nice guys".

i agree with the women above. we probably want and expect a lot more than we deserve.

I don't think it's so much deserving, it's called using insight which I guess is hard for most of us aspies especially men <incitation needed>.

It always perplexes me that being single and having trouble with communication how many guys rant about being single but isn't about themselves so much as it is women. I just assume if you don't like women or can't accept women for being individuals rather than JUST women, why bother.

I did treat them as individuals, thinking perhaps one of them would be after someone different to what the rest wanted. That turned out to be an idealistic fantasy, as all of them in my area treated me the same way! So from what I've had to go by, I have to conclude that they turned out to all be the same, after all.

Best line I've seen on here in weeks. This should be "Quote Of The Month." It IS hard for me to accept women for being individuals. Or anybody for that matter. I wonder where that fear comes from. maybe fear of getting too close to people. but no. it's fear of not knowing how to reciprocate and act in response to someone's individuality. It's like: if I recognize and admit your individuality I have to do something about it. I have to act differently. But how? I would not know how to act in response to your individuality, so it's easier to pretend who I've decided you are and then watch you lose interest in me. Does that make any sense or am I just high?

Sorry Learning2Survive that wasn't aimed at you.

If anything you've been one of the few respectful aspie guys here regarding women.

Last edited by MissConstrue on 04 Apr 2009, 11:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What made you think you were compatible with them in the first place? Maybe they just discovered that you were not their type.

^^^ The compatibility issue comes into it, but what... NONE of them, in a city of more than one million, were compatible with me? No-one knew a friend who might be more my type, and introduce me to them? No, there's more to it than that...

Aw, c'mon you guys. Is it like males always accept you, treat you with respect, and enjoy your company and you only have a problem with females?

If people of both genders respond to you the same way, then there's no sense in making gender out to be an issue.

Females are half the population. It seems to me that talking about "What women want" makes as much sense as talking about "What white people want."

No, they don't either, but the whole romantic (and I daresay sexual) aspect adds a whole different dimension to it, you see.

Last edited by BPalmer on 05 Apr 2009, 12:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

Well, I look at it this way.....I might be compatible with 1 or 2 girls out of 100, and I will never date even close to that many, in my entire life. I may get to meet over 100 women through school, work, life, etc... but what are the odds that we will date? What if they are already married or dating someone else? So, in real life, there is pretty good odds that I would never meet anyone that I was truly compatible with.

We, the not very compatible, should consider ourselves lucky that we have the internet. At least that way, our odds of meeting someone compatible are greatly increased. I say, if you want to meet someone here, post frequently and be honest. Maybe someone will notice your personality and contact you? Maybe not? It has happened to me more than once.

I pretty much agree with you. We've all had our bad experiences, and the problems are often things that don't make sense to us, so we blame them on the women.

One thing I blame women for is that you can't say things directly to them and they're never direct. Like you're just supposed to know. I think NT guys get annoyed with that too.

Another factor:
There's a fable about a fox who tries to get grapes but can't. So in the end he decides "the grapes were probably sour anyway." Pretty obvious connection.

Romance all seems so stupid to me now. My one real romantic experience, which spanned over a few years, was bad. All the crappy meaningless teenage angst I'll ever need. That's why I'm bitter towards women. But it's probably unfair of me to judge women in general by that girl.

QFT. Ditto w/ Jawbrodt's comment that you might not be their type; it -is- a mutual sort of thing, attraction.

Do I have bitterness? Towards two women, yes - and three men. The women were relationships, though that is not the reason for the bitterness; the men were family and friends, people who I believed I could trust. Not something I'm proud of, but I feel comfortable enough with who I am to know that much about myself that my bitterness is evident. So I can't ascribe to gender - people, as a whole, just aren't all they are cracked up to be in my opinion.


M.

I'm a NT woman married to an AS man. I think there there are lots of misunderstandings in the relationships between NTs and ASs and they are on both sides. Aspies have difficulties understanding NTs but I experienced the same confusion when I had to deal with aspies. I have no problem to 'read' NT people because they follow some rules that I understand, but aspies don't do that so I find them as confusing as they probably find me. I understand how dating and relationships can be a huge challenge. My husband was the best friend of a very good friend of mine. We used to socialise in a group and he was introdused to the group by my friend. I didn't like him when I first met him, he was making this weird comments and his humour...well, it wasn't funny . I presumed that he was being a smart-ass, he was obviously very inteligent and had extensive knowlege in many areas. I suppose he wasn't impressed with us either. But he was there every time we went out with the group (2-3 times a week). Later I found out that it was because of me. It took me 2 years to really enjoy his company, to understand his jokes, to see the really nice guy he was and to be confortable with his little talents and interests. And then he asked me out and I said yes. We've been married for 14 years, have 2 kids and are now very happy but it wasn't easy. We had to learn to read each others body language and signals. It is frustrating when I need a hug and almost every person is able to see that except my husband, but I learned to tell him. And he learned to come and give me a hug when I ask for one and not tell me that he'll be there as soon as he finishes what he's doing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5aiDuemgJ4[/youtube]

Well, I'm bitter because I'm jealous. I wish I had my own set of boobs to play with.

Aside from that I'm generally bitter towards everyone. I haven't had good experiences with people in general, and no one has done anything to change my perception.