Problems with Eye Contact

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Ditto. I have a theory on this, its not that its invasive so much as its a reading overdose. I think of movie scenes, like the end of the last LOTR where its either Elijah Woods or the other guy just smiling into the screen for 30 seconds or a minute - I get *real* uneasy with that kind of stuff, partly yes - in real life it'd be creepy and then some.

I think we don't screen out other people's emotions well, it effects us too much. I had the problem when I was a kid, especially, of other people's emotions being able to fold, control, pretty much collapse me if I wasn't careful. Its one of those things where if you get hit with something weird enough that you aren't prepared for - the whole structure of self that you have conceptualized can get washed and your pretty much (at least metaphorically) off balance with the other person holding you up by your shirt; especially as an aspie - that sort of loss of control or letting another person be in control of you; terrifying because it almost never has lead anywhere good.

The other part of course - women don't want a guy who they do bowl over just by flirting with but then again they don't want a guy who's aloof or almost despondent in the way we are when we're hunkered down or wishing to god we had a pair of welding goggles because a girl is beaming at us and its like catching a laser pen in the eye. When we're being that effected it jams our charisma and screws up the chemistry from her end (ie. we're distressed and there's not really much we can do to cover it up that they can see through).

When I was young, I was told that I needed to keep eye-contact or people would think I had something to hide... that bothered me quite a bit; I practiced. Now I'm an odd combination of not being able to make eye-contact in the halls with people, and alternately stare them down when talking one-on-one with someone.

Changing myself was my big project when I was younger.. forcing my handwriting to be a certain way, adopting a personal dress code (what goes with what, colors, etc), trying to think before I respond (sometimes people really don't want an honest opinion) -- everything can be changed / learned / relearned.