To those who believe in e-relationships.....

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anonOS
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12 Apr 2009, 12:13 pm

Learning2Survive wrote:
90% of communication is non-verbal. so online, you can only know 10% of the person.


No it merely means the communication is expressed in a different manner.

Your logic is flawed.



Angel_Maria
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12 Apr 2009, 12:16 pm

mmmmmmm
i find i communicate better when i write things down butt then again some things can be miss enterprited in text form


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ouinon
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12 Apr 2009, 12:33 pm

I think it's a really interesting issue, because on the one hand I know that I am very sensitive to voices, and to a person's physical presence, however confusedly, and that this matters to me in making friendships/relationships, but at the same time an online connection is like an amazing opportunity not to be distracted/even exhausted by that side of things.

I have only managed to make one really close friend in the two years that I have been participating in forums, ( and perhaps two or three other good connections with possibilities ), and have not yet met them in the flesh, so have no idea what effect that would/will have, but it is as if I am getting to know someone from the inside out, which I think is rather good.

As someone said to me recently ( online ! ), some of the greatest and best friendships/relationships arose from correspondence, long and frequent letter-writing.

.



LePetitPrince
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12 Apr 2009, 12:57 pm

anonOS wrote:
Learning2Survive wrote:
90% of communication is non-verbal. so online, you can only know 10% of the person.


No it merely means the communication is expressed in a different manner.

Your logic is flawed.


No, while the 90% might be too much but his logic is most probably true.



anonOS
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12 Apr 2009, 1:24 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
anonOS wrote:
Learning2Survive wrote:
90% of communication is non-verbal. so online, you can only know 10% of the person.


No it merely means the communication is expressed in a different manner.

Your logic is flawed.


No, while the 90% might be too much but his logic is most probably true.


The ratio of 90% non verbal / 10% verbal only demonstrates how communication is perceived, not by what you can know about a person or not.



Angel_Maria
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12 Apr 2009, 2:39 pm

i believe they can work if both parties work at it and really want the relationship


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Tim_Tex
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12 Apr 2009, 3:07 pm

Angel_Maria wrote:
i believe they can work if both parties work at it and really want the relationship


Seconded.



Nebx
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13 Apr 2009, 2:51 pm

Two of my friends (who actually used to post here a while ago) met on the Internet and spent hours a day talking on AIM for about 2 months, and eventually started talking on Ventrilo and Skype... when they finally met after something like 4 months, it apparently felt really natural and nothing awkward happened... they're still together after a year and a half of online relationship... they only get to see each other for a week or two every once in a while and during the summer...



Hector
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13 Apr 2009, 2:54 pm

I don't need to have faith that e-relationships can work. I know they can work, I've seen them work and haven't seen any great tangible difference in commitment. That said, after having a bad experience trying to meet a girl I knew online, I find that I'd have too many trust issues. But the likelihood is that if I didn't have that bad experience, I wouldn't have those trust issues and my personal viewpoint on the matter would be roughly identical to the people I know who are in relationships with those they met on the internet.

I don't know how e-couples react after seeing each-other in person for the first time. From the accounts I've read, many became intimate very quickly.



mitharatowen
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15 Apr 2009, 4:44 pm

First of all this is a silly reason to assume that it isn't a real relationship. Just because you love someone's mind does not mean that you are completely comfortable with their physical form. Conversely, being a bit awkward with someone's physical form does not mean that you do not love their mind. The two do not necessarily correlate.

LePetitePrince wrote:
Would they quickly get along since day 1 in real life?

Not necessarily. I've been with guys that I've known for a while irl as friends but once the relationship crosses that line, I become waaay to nervous to even hold their hand or look at them in the face. Does this mean that it is not a real relationship?

On the other side of the coin, I indeed have met someone from online who I got along with irl 'since day 1' and I am not nervous around him at all.

So I think sir, your theory is disproven.
Nice try, though, and I will admit that what you said can often be the case in many instances. But it is not a cold hard fact. Few things are.



LePetitPrince
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15 Apr 2009, 5:25 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
First of all this is a silly reason to assume that it isn't a real relationship. Just because you love someone's mind does not mean that you are completely comfortable with their physical form. Conversely, being a bit awkward with someone's physical form does not mean that you do not love their mind. The two do not necessarily correlate.




This is not a relationship, this is just love....



Social_Fantom
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15 Apr 2009, 5:29 pm

But love is what truly matters.

I would rather be in love without a relationship than in a relationship without love.


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Adam-Anti-Um
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15 Apr 2009, 5:31 pm

Social_Fantom wrote:
But love is what matters.

I would rather be in love without a relationship than in a relationship without love.


VERY good point.


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mitharatowen
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15 Apr 2009, 5:38 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
mitharatowen wrote:
First of all this is a silly reason to assume that it isn't a real relationship. Just because you love someone's mind does not mean that you are completely comfortable with their physical form. Conversely, being a bit awkward with someone's physical form does not mean that you do not love their mind. The two do not necessarily correlate.




This is not a relationship, this is just love....

I fail to see the distinction :?



JennaJ
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15 Apr 2009, 5:43 pm

Angel_Maria wrote:
See i have seen both sides of this sitution.

One of my friends had an online "relationship" you know the kind where they rush home to talk to each other use web cams and microphones etc. She actually had a boyfriend at home. She never told this online romance this because she loved the fact she could be naughty with him while the bf was not around.

Now i told her many times this was wrong but she continued.

And i have also seen the other side of online romances.

My best friend met a man online and they started chatting everyday. They got along so well.

Now she lives with him and they are getting married in 3yrs time.

So i can see how they can and cant work it just depends on how you approach it


She is just a cheater anyway you look at it. In her case the affair didn't have to be physically consumated to be considered an affair. Poor guy she is dating (or was dating).



Drakshin
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15 Apr 2009, 6:06 pm

Angel_Maria wrote:
mmmmmmm
i find i communicate better when i write things down butt then again some things can be miss enterprited in text form


I tend to get misinterpreted more often while actually speaking to people in RL, than in text form communication.

Hector wrote:
I don't need to have faith that e-relationships can work. I know they can work, I've seen them work and haven't seen any great tangible difference in commitment. That said, after having a bad experience trying to meet a girl I knew online, I find that I'd have too many trust issues. But the likelihood is that if I didn't have that bad experience, I wouldn't have those trust issues and my personal viewpoint on the matter would be roughly identical to the people I know who are in relationships with those they met on the internet.

I don't know how e-couples react after seeing each-other in person for the first time. From the accounts I've read, many became intimate very quickly.


Trust issues...

Having those with my current eGF, which i'll talk about in a new topic.

About the "when people finally meet in RL" thing
I once met in RL a girl i had started talking to online, and we weren't even in a relationship, well there was never the word love involved, and she sees me for te first time, she comes to me and kisses me on the lips, that was after like 3 weeks of online communicating, sad part is, by the end of the day when i was about to leave she said something around the lines of "you're leaving now and i think it would be better if you never come back here again"


Oh, and a friend of mine, from Portugal, dated a girl from Brasil for 2 years, online only, then he went to Brasil, they got married there, spent 3 months there, came back to Portugal, both of them, married again in Portugal, and they're still a happy couple so far, they've been married for 3 years.