Im giving up

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The species wouldn't be around for very long, though, would it?

Maybe some people just arent meant to be loved,or give their love. Maybe it's reserved for 'normal' people. At least, its how i've come to feel, its a path denied to me.

One thing i'd like to say.....and this may not apply to you, but the aspie's i have known in my life this is true...often you think way worse of yourself then the people around you. Aspie's that i have known tend to magnify what they feel others perceive them as. My b/f for example who is now 41 spent the first part of his life being so hard on himself when people really didn't percieve him to be 'ugly' or 'stupid' or the other things that he felt that they saw in him. He magnified it in his own head, and by doing that his behavior around these people would be extremely defensive and made him say things that hurt their feelings and it was THEN that their perceptions might have changed for the worse.

This might not describe you, but i wanted to say it outloud in case it could be happening. Try not to believe that people are always thinking the worst because when you do that your behaviors around them become defensive and you will unwittingly cause the behaviors that you feared to actually occur.

Self fulfilling prophecies.

The only CONTROL you have in your life, and this is for everyone, NT or Aspie, lies within your own thoughts. It is powerful once you finally realize it is this area that you have TOTAL control over. You can't control your neighbor, your friends, people you meet on the street... but you can control how you react to them. If you change the inputs to your current situation the outputs will likely change. Keep doing everything the same and you will find you end up with the same results. Try tweaking the current mindset and see if that changes anything for you at all.

I used to be a slave to my thoughts and when i perceived i was unliked or criticized I would feel bitter, negative, and aloof. It was that reaction that caused people to shy away from me because those are not attractive traits. ONce i realized i controlled my thoughts and how i reacted to things i felt much more in control of my life and it is a powerful feeling.

Regardless of how people perceive you, you should always live your life doing things that make you happy and keep on being who you are. If you can do this with as little negativity as possible you will find that maybe not ALL people, but there will be a certain number of people who will respond positively to that.

Don't give up. People are just people....whether they are an NT or AS...we all are different, yes, but we all have insecurities, fears and can be caught up in negativity at the blink of an eye. Just take the control back into your life and start controlling your thoughts and channeling them in a more positive manner. Because if you give up on people, you can forget this situation ever changing. Then you will go from being a young bitter man to an old bitter man. You say your relationships never progressed from the two year mark? Well my friend you are doing better than about 50% of the population because some people never even GET to the relationship stage, much less two years. And it isn't that you have gotten shltty treatment from women, you have gotten sh***y treatment from THOSE particular women. And truly examine what you put into the relationship as well, because again, you only can control YOU and your own outputs. I'd be hard pressed to find even one person on earth who never did anything unwittingly or unknowningly that was bad for the relationship. I don't know of anyone that perfect, or haven't met them yet. I am not suggesting that you were responsible for the demise of the relationship, I am only suggesting that if you truly take inventory of the things that YOU could have done differently, then next time around you will be a better partner.

IMO no relationship that we learn something from is a failure. And although we like to BELIEVE that a relationship is forever, let's face it, most arent. I have had several longterm relationships and went into each one believing that was the one, it would be forever, yada yada yada but i know realize that relationships just aren't always going to last forever, so i have learned to live day by day and soak in what i can when i have it and while that person is with me. It is ok to let go of people sometimes when it turns from positive to negative, and i do know that Aspie's have the hardest time of all with this. If it is something that you could ever find within your reach to grasp, it will make you feel more free and less afraid of a perceived 'failure'. IF we have the mindset that a lost relationship ISN'T a failure then we can better embrace new situations and just love that person while we have them in our lives.

What, exactly, do you have to offer a potential partner? Women outnumber men, so if you are straight, the odds of finding a partner are ever in your favor unless you are actively repulsing females!

I feel have a great deal to offer a partner, I don't lack in self esteem at least, which is part of why I do not understand my lack of success. My intellect, abilities and strength should be major pluses for me.

Are you sure? Have your personal attributes been confirmed to exist by somebody who isn't a family member who loves you and thinks you're perfect?

I ask because maybe you are experiencing a sort of dating Dunning-Kruger Effect. Like,big you're incompetent at dating, you do not, heck, cannot, recognize that you're incompetent at dating.