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Dude, she's just playing with you, she don't care at all, to her, you're TV. She want's to know how many times she can screw you over and she knows exacly what to say and when and she knows that you are a good pray becouse you're a nice guy. You think the best of her becouse you like her, unforunetly it's not who she is, that good side of her is something she uses to get you on the hook, and she still has you and untill you realize that she's just playing for her own entertainment she'll keep hurting and confusing you.
Cut the strings she's pulling. Don't bother if you're being rude and hurtfull to her back, she won't be hurt becouse she don't care about you, she'll just act it to keep her pet (a.i you) around.

And yes, it hurts to do it, I know that very well. but it's allways worth it in the end.

As it is now she gives you an illusion of control, that she's coming to you. This is not the case, she calls the ball and choses when and how to strike.
She knows you still loves her and want's to think good of her, so she gives you what you want, the tearfull "don't-leave-me-I-need-you"-act. And now she'll (if she's smart) give you a glimmer of her "true self", the one you fell for. This will go on untill she feels you're firmly back on the hook again, then she'll turn her attention back to the other guys she's screwing over too again.
And she'll continue to repeat this as long as you're being nice to her in anyway. And when you can bear it no longer, the last gift she'll give you is a bad conscience becouse she'll make you the bad guy.
This might allso be a way to prepare for a follow up on her part, she makes you feel bad and then wait a couple of months before she makes a friendly contact again. A very calm one, and tries to get you back on the hook with a friend-trick, and before you know it, you're back where you started.

Get this leech off your life. Fast and hard.
If you want, you can make it a funny little game, tape one of her crying phonecalls and then match it agains the new ones she'll make untill she realise that you won't let her into her life again, you'll find that they're very similar.

So, no replys anywhere, block her, delete her, hang up everytime she calls and you hear it's her. Or, if you feel strong, listen silently to everything she has to say and then reply all take-me-back-acts with a simple "No" and hang up.
You have to act like she means nothing to you anymore, that you don't care at all.

Be strong, we're here for you.

silvervarg, yeah, as i said above, i DID cut her off twice before, and harshly, but there were angry emotions involved, and it was easyer to do it then. but i know what i gotta do. all of this makes sense, and thats why i never get what the hell she is doing, according to her own explanations. cus HER point of view makes NO sense. cutting her off, and then on again, like im doing now, is pointless tho. its like quitting to smoke, and then having a cig.

i know her tho, and logically i know that your all right, and i knew for maybe a whole year. logic doesnt always reach very deep into your subconcious tho, but little by little it seeps in.

btw norge rulez! B)

It might help to keep track of all the things she does to you, save those things and take a look at them when determination is running low.

Of course it makes no sense, she wants you confused, that means she can keep the initative. Don't you play strategy games?

It's not you subconcius it's your **** that needs to understand.

Bah, the entire North rules.

thats right! you guys' national anthem covers all of "the north"

i thought our national anthem was charming and cute, untill a swede pointed out that we had several verses. i checked, and wow... petty, bitter and vengeful! most of us know only the first verse, and just as well

I think we're going kind of OT here, but since it's your thread that might be OK.

I've never heard yours but it sounds kind of like our graduation song, the first verse is okey, but the next becomes very nationalistic in an allmost inappropriate way. ^^

off topic posting is fine once
1. OP goes OT ;] and
2. original issue seems resolved ;]

the 4th verse of our anthem reminds everyone that sweden still owns old norwegian land.
"hey, psst!"
what most people dont know tho, is that sweden didnt really conquer any of these lands, nor did norway and sweden ever have any direct disputes over land - untill - D E N M A R K started messing w everyone, declaring wars, dragging norway along with them, and then losing every war they started.
and THATS what i think should be in the anthem

Well, we still holds "danish" lands too.
It was allways Denmark, we kicked their asses time and time again, and they never learned.
But I guess your anthem are talking about the swedish-norwegian union. I don't know much about it thou.

I've allways liked Norway, might be becouse I live in Värmland and are closer to Oslo than Stockholm. ^^

you guys got lots of norsk sound in your swedish, just like border norwegians got swedish sounds, like they say "itte" while you guys go "icke" no? like a swap from the ordinary "ikke" vs "inte"

the anthem was refering to land lost near oslo, ceded to sweden - by denmark - cus of their losses.
this was the danish routine.
war - loss - cede piece of southern norway
war - loss - cede piece of mid-norway (jemtland, herjedalen)
war - loss - cede another piece of mid-norway (a southern tip of the same area)
war - loss - cede all of mid-norway (the only part that norway took back. thank god. or i would be swedish )
war - loss - screw it, cede all of norway.

and thats how sweden and norway became a union.

thanx denmark! no, really, you guys have been awesome!

on a linguistic note, southern norwegian is very "danified", where i live, norwegian is a bit more "pure" (its an ugly word, but still... ) and it has more natural similarities w swedish, like we say "hei" like swedes say it, not "hæi" like danes and south norwegians. also we tend to say "itt" instead of "ikke", and i hear rumors that while south norwegians may struggle to understand all of our dialects up north, swedes may actually find ours easyer to understand than southern oslo-norwegian

Back to the original problem. You both are becoming dependent on each other. You get a thrill when she begs you back, she gets a thrill when you come back. Not sure if she's playing you on purpose but the relationship isn't good for you. If she's bed hopping and such, best to move on and let her go.

If you retain her as a friend, then realize how she is and leave it at that. No expectations. Take from it what you need but don't expect more or you will be hurt over and over.

yes. you make sense as well...

you all make sense, cus many possibilities do :/

ive thought of that as well. if it is possible to keep her as a friend, i want that. and i also think she isnt too aware of her own behaviour, at least not while its taking place.

as long as you believe that, you are vulnerable.

Merle

well, one thing's for sure, ive confronted her with it, to death, and she - not only refuses to acknowledge that there is anything wrong w her behaviour, at her MOST apologetic, she has generalized it all as "bitchy" but never admitted to any detail, always going for some lame-lie. the last thing she told me, before i broke it off for the last time, was how she was AGAIN gonna visit some guy, to "get some books back", airplane tickets and all.
so... yeah... i confront her, and she not only denies most of it and repeats herself, but actually surpasses herself.

we talked some yesterday, and she didnt bring any of it up, and it was a pretty dead conversation. "hint taken"

well, Hell! Shoot! French Fries!

Merel

my thoughts exactley