Girl texts me asking 'how many girls I've been with'

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29 Apr 2009, 7:58 pm

Maybe you're a virgin, maybe you've been with dozens of women. Why does she want to know? Do women fault guys for being virgins? That's ridiculous, because everyone, even the skankiest skank, was a virgin at some point! I think that if a woman faults you for being a virgin, it's because she is unsure of her STD status, won't get herself checked, and is afraid that if you catch something, you'll blame her if she's the only one you've ever been with.

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NonlinearLuke
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29 Apr 2009, 8:03 pm

sgrannel wrote:

I actually am a virgin. I have kissed a girl though. Do you think I should tell her over a text message?

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sgrannel
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29 Apr 2009, 8:08 pm

Don't tell her. Change the subject or tell her it's not important, because you're healthy, or "clean" and that's all she really needs to know. Ask her if she's "clean". Virgin or not, each new person is a new experience.

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amazon_television
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29 Apr 2009, 8:11 pm

The ultimate ambiguous answer in your case: "You first"

Learning2Survive
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29 Apr 2009, 10:06 pm

you could say "I'm not too experienced, what about you?"

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29 Apr 2009, 10:23 pm

Say: "My fingers and toes don't go up that high."
or
"I can't remember."

Something about this question seems ripe for a joke or misdirection or another question of her.

In the moment, I'd probably give a vague but direct answer, but I'd want to respond with another personal question of her... depending on our relationship.

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29 Apr 2009, 10:26 pm

If you know her, then you can probably trust her, depending on a few other things.
The basis of such a text message is another way of asking, "How likely am I to get an STI/STD from you?" The higher number indicates you sleep around and probably only want sex and no relationship.
The lower number is seen as wanting more than just sex, but more along the lines of a relationship. If you've been with many, I would probably say to lie and give a lesser number. 3 or 4 is probably right. If you've been with none, the choice is yours to give whether you want to tell her that.

sgrannel
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30 Apr 2009, 2:41 am

sgrannel wrote:

if a woman faults you for being a virgin, it's because she is unsure of her STD status, won't get herself checked, and is afraid that if you catch something, you'll blame her if she's the only one you've ever been with.

Or just go ahead and tell her the truth. If she faults you for it, then, well, her response will indicate what's going on.

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A boy and a dog can be happy sitting down in the woods on a log
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03 May 2009, 6:12 pm

NonlinearLuke wrote:

sgrannel wrote:

I actually am a virgin. I have kissed a girl though. Do you think I should tell her over a text message?

Hell no. Also, there is no correct answer to this question, it's a trap.

jamesohgoodie
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06 May 2009, 1:23 am

I make it a point not to ask and not to tell. No matter what the number is, it's too many.

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ToadOfSteel
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06 May 2009, 2:13 am

jamesohgoodie wrote:

I make it a point not to ask and not to tell. No matter what the number is, it's too many.

Even if that number is zero?

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06 May 2009, 2:32 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:

jamesohgoodie wrote:

I make it a point not to ask and not to tell. No matter what the number is, it's too many.

Even if that number is zero?

A little bit, yes!

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