Aimless wrote:
I once dated someone and eventually realized that my purpose in the relationship was to fill a "position" and I felt very used. I know plenty of people who are comfortable with this but I never will be.
How exactly did you realize you were just filling a position? Did you boyfriend act like he didn't care enough? What tipped you off that you were just "filling in a position"?
I'm asking because all of my past relationships started because a girl showed interest in me, and I started dating her solely based on that. Nevertheless, I always made her feel special, and gave her the best relationship I could provide. One girl actually said to me that it was the best relationship she ever had. All expected in return is faithfulness and regular physical affection (both as a sign that she still likes me and won't leave me, so I'll feel safe being her boyfriend). She gave me both of those things, and the relationship continued until we broke up.
"So you expect a girl to have feelings for you, but not having the same feelings for her?" Given how the dating world works, there's no other choice. A girl will never date a guy she's not attracted to, no matter how much she tries to convince herself. I'm not attractive to 95% of girls out there. So if one girl does like me, I'd be an idiot if I missed a great relationship opportunity just because I'm "not attracted to her".
Look at it this way. You're walking through a hot blazing desert. You see an oasis with clean water here or there, but most have barbed wire fences around them. After a very long time in the desert, you see an oasis without a fence. Most likely, you're not going worry about the water quality, because any water is better than no water at all. And if it's salt water, you drink it anyway, and hope your body filters it out. Sure, you might refuse to drink water from the Dead Sea (that's just too much salt), but ultimately, you're forced to drink whatever you can find, because otherwise you'll be thirsty for a lot longer.