How do I tell him we're just friends?

Post Reply New Topic

When I said in person, I did not mean with other people. I feel something like this needs to be talked about between the two people in private.

A few years ago, I meet a women i worked with and we became good friends. I developed deeper feelings for me. But she told me flat out we were only going ot be friends. That what she said, but her actions were totally different. Really mixed signals. Thats why i said about not doing anything he can think its more then friendship.

Well, actually both can share the blame.

If the girl isn't interested, she's not interested. This part is the guys fault for seeing, or wishing things were a certain way, when they are not. You can hit some guys over the head with a 2 x 4, and they still wouldn't get the hint.

Not all of it is the guys fault either. Girls can be naive, self-centered, give mixed signals, etc. If they know, or find out the guy has feelings for them, they can be too soft, and continue to string him along, because they are afraid of hurting him, would miss hanging out with him, or are dependant on him for whatever reasons. This can make things worse down the road. There is also some girls that have the additude "well I don't like him, so it's ok".

Thanks for your advice guys.

I finally did tell him we're just friends. I made it very clear that things just weren't ever going to happen between us.

He was ok - obviously upset - but he took it well. I've yet to see whether we will actually stay friends but he said he wanted to. He obviously needs space to process everything.

I feel relieved at being open and honest but I wish it didn't have to be so painful.

Well done. It's a horrible thing to have to do, but sometimes you do just have to be honest with people. I hope it works out ok.