finding girls online - futile?

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Well, I too think you have pretty much answered your own question. That is, spending money to go to a place and set yourself up there, leaving family and friends, and starting again job-wise in another place is a huge risk to take for something that's likely to fail.

I can't help but think it's likely to fail because what are the chances that the girl is cheating on you online with somebody else? They can do that a lot more easily online than they can in your community. Online, they can hide it no problem.

When I used to talk to girls online there was a pattern that those I managed to connect with were in the smallest, most remote towns in the most conservative areas of the US. They lived in an extremely low local population base and I have had to realise they were only making connections online because they were in the most isolating social circumstances.

That suggests they were simply talking to whoever they could get, because their population base was low enough for them to turn to the Internet for fulfilling social contact. ANY bigger (or ANY more liberal) and they'd get that in their own communities.

There is still ONE remnant of this, one girl I am still in touch with online. She's in an extremely remote small town in Mississippi. Not just an extremely low local population base, but particularly conservative (and she IS conservative herself). I cannot see the point in making all that effort to go over there for the likelihood that meeting a person from online would not work out. It seems that I am in her plans for the fuure, although I'm a lot more realistic and have said I wouldn't be going over there any time soon. I'm just not comfortable with that, and as was suggested it's better having these people as penpals instead of you or your partner excruciating yourselves by feeling set up for romantic disappointment.

Most people (men and women) that use online match maker sites choose people based on their looks for the most part. It don't matter how good of personality you have, if you don't look good. I would say I am average in the looks department, and when I tried online dating, I never had any success.

I agree with you that it is best to meet women in person. For one thing, there is only so much you can learn about someone, talking to them online. Secondly, people will get to know and like the real you, not judge you based on your looks only.

I'm in SW ohio too, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

I think meeting girls online sucks... especially for younger guys. The young guys who have a lot of success online are guys who typically have a lot of success without the internet, which is a problem because why would you be on there anyways if you could just meet someone. Maybe it would be easier when you're a little older and more established, you might attract more women, and a more mature variety.

I beg to differ; I'm a girl, on dating sites, on the net, and actually have met ppl and had relationships

You're a girl though... 90% of the people on dating sites are guys. For girls, yes, it would be a great way to meet people.

Why would you immediately leave your job and family if you are not even sure that the relationship will last?
Synchronise your vacations first, reckless people. It isn't such a big deal. You are being too Hollywoodian.

I personally don't believe in online dating, but I'm probably old fashioned. Online penpals is great, meeting up eventually with online penpals - sure! But I don't believe you should consider dating someone you've never met face to face. I would only consider dating a person if I had spent time with them in the real world.

Of course, that's my personal opinion on the matter, and I don't deny that there are many very happy people who found their soul-mates on the net. Each to their own.

Like Space said, your a girl. Enough said.

As with resistance, it is futile.

Giving up would be the thing that would be futile.

My sentiments exactly.

Finding girls online futile? - Yes
in real life futile - not futile though extremely difficult

If you want to attract a mate you find desirable, you have to be the kind of mate they would find desirable. If you are desired for your weaknesses or the mask you put on to cover your weaknesses, the relationship is starting out in a very precarious position. If you have deficiencies in your ability to engage in interpersonal relationships, an environment hyper focused on social interaction is not going to show you in a good light. This would be dating sites and other activities with an emphasis on being single.

Finding a romantic relationship is about not looking for one. Look for friends. Engage in activities you are interested in with others who are interested in them. Join a club or hobbyist organization, a sporting league. You will get introduced to people in a setting you are hopefully more comfortable with, doing things you enjoy. You will get practice at small talk. You may establish you have other shared interests with one or more in the group. Your relationship with these people begins to grow beyond the shared group bond and some of them you may find yourself in a romantic relationship with.

As your pool of friends grows, your social network expands. Your friend knows this girl at work who they want to introduce you to. Allow yourself to be set up, I won't lie to you a lot of the matchmaking is likely to be bad matches. But you will continue to grow and your friends will hopefully get better at predicting compatible personalities for you.

A big part of interpersonal relations, whether it is making a new friend or talking to an old one, asking a girl out or saying good night to your wife, is the confidence with which you carry yourself. People find it hard to trust people that don't trust themselves whether they know that is why or not. When they are engaged by somebody that displays confidence of self and empathize with the speaker as they hear their words, they believe what the speaker says they believe. That empathy will keep them from dismissing you outright. If your rhetoric is sound, an open empathic listener will be swayed.

My question is answered!

You can find a girl online, but it will take a long time looking, it's risky, she is likely to be unattractive or to have problems, and the Internet is not a place where people go to find long term relationships. That is why online friends tend to disappear after a few weeks. Instead of sitting at home, addicted to the computer, stop trying to incorporate your need for sex and a relationship into your computer addiction. You should walk out of the house, find friends, invite them to your apartment, go to parties, talk to people, and learn small talk, and find a girl friend in real life.

Since nobody near me has the characteristics I am looking for (Aspie, Christian, preferably voting Republican, likes the Simpsons and South Park), I have no choice but to travel.

However, it's always the other person who has a problem with dating someone outside their immediate area.

Yet, I can't be held responsible if the San Antonio-Austin metro area is completely devoid of the type of person I am looking for.