Is it true that you don't ask a girl to be your girlfriend?

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In British Columbia that is almost always the girls decision. But when you don't know just ask. Ask her what her thoughts are about girlfriend boyfriend rules. If what she says is positive, Ask her out. But don't too soon! Whats soon? I have no clue! Just make sure your alone with her and try not to sound too needy.

I agree on that.

As to your first question, yes, I do believe that "normal" guys do not ask out girls right out in the sense of "Hey, do you want to be my girlfriend?". I've read some stuff online about asking out girls and what is socially acceptable. Here is the synopsis of what I've read:

The reason why asking out a girl point blank to be your girlfriend is unacceptable is because it puts a lot of stress on the girl to make a hasty and less than thought out decision. Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is a "yes/no" answer, there is no maybe involved. If she says "Yes", she might feel regret later on for saying it because she feels that she rushed into a decision that she may not have wanted. She might have felt pressured by you to say "Yes" and did it not for her own well being, but to appear socially acceptable. However, if she says "No", she is more than likely going to hurt your feelings, and if she is a nice person, she would feel bad about rejecting you, unless you were a person of poor reputation.

I liken it to making a choice between two undesirable choices and having to pick one over another.

The way to ask out a girl, as I have read, is to ask her to go to a social setting with you to hang out and relax. By doing so, no pressure is put on her, the atmosphere is calm and non-pressuring. For instance:

"Hey Rebecca, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and grab a bite to eat sometime, just to chat and hang out?"

If she has any interest in you, she will say something like "Sure, that sounds like fun" or "Sorry, I can't do that this week, but are you free next week?". Some response into the affirmative or positive connotation. From there, a friendship can ensue, and if fortunate enough, a romantic relationship as well

As for the second question, it is my belief that if one party believes that they are in a relationship when the other party disagrees, the disagreeing party will immediately or eventually let the believing party know what is going on. Like for instance, if a guy wrapped his arm around a girl friend's next at the movies, the girl will probably recoil and tell him that she doesn't like that. etc and so forth.

^ A strict "yes/no" question does get you a straight-up answer, though. Sometime's it's just easier to know for certain than spend months skirting around the issue wondering if there is even the remotest possiblity she'll say "yes".

The problem with asking a girl you fancy to a social setting is that it can go either way. With your Rebecca question, going to a film or eating out could come off as totally platonic, especially if you don't really know each other, or she could be scared off by the undertones of dating. One way to take the pressure off is to invite a load of friends and go as a group - but then you enhance the possibility of it being just a friendly outing. The impression I get is that there are no strict rules and you are just lucky if you manage to hit on the right formula for that individual girl.

What is with British Columbia then?? Although there was a telling article in the Herald recently about how guys would rather go looking for a girl at Hillsong than at the Establishment, where it is common for women to be "predatory"

in my experience most guys don't ask. but I think it would be awesome if one did. it's nice for me to know were I stand with a guy after dating for awhile. to know that claim as been staked, so to speak, on each other makes me feel more secure in were the relationship stands.

It seems women are becoming more aware of their power over men. I think its just my province, I don't know where its common because i have never left British Columbia. But here it is usually the girls choice. Its worked out for me anyway. It really doesn't matter, All you have to do is let the girl know your interested in her. If she pretends not to notice or changes subject, Then you know she's not interested.

I was explicitly asked by my current bf if I wanted to be his gf...after going out a little first. I'm not used to being explicitly asked, and it did seem a bit high schoolish but I liked it. He's an aspie and just felt more comfortable with an explicit answer. Of course, he also asked me directly if he could kiss me before our first kiss...no romantic background music movie-style thing, but I thought it was cool, too. I turned him down the first several times he asked, but he didn't take it personally and persisted. Do what feels comfortable. If it's a real relationship, the other person won't mind being asked. If they do mind...better to find out right away.

There isn't a single girl on this entire planet that has any power over me.

In every serious relationship I've had there's been some talk about exclusivity. Usually after a week or two after we start having sex. It's usually after sex pillow talk type stuff but there is a communication of commitment that both sides took seriously. That doesn't mean make a big "We gotta talk production" out of it though. Just let the topic come up in the natural flow of conversation.

Before that talk then really you're hanging out, making out or whatever. Enjoy it.

Ask a girl whatever you want. It's not like they should have the power.

Guys aren't supposed to ask... we're supposed to know already whether or not girls like us "in that way" by using our telepathic powers...