Dating profile, part 2

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Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Age: 32
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07 Nov 2010, 11:00 pm

We are an 81% match haha sorry I just think the match thing is really cool, I just got a profile a few days ago. Wouldn't it be cool if a bunch of WP posted their profile just to compare answers? Yeah. I'm weird like that.

Anyways, I think you're taking the messaging thing a little too seriously. All you really have to do, and what I suspect most guys do, is message a tonnn of girls/guys/whateveryoulike a small to mid length message. You're bound to get replies that way. Try not to be shy. Just message a bunch of people without putting a lot of thought into it, and when someone is actually interested, you'll be able to tell.

The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Nov 2010, 5:52 am

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

haha sorry I just think the match thing is really cool, I just got a profile a few days ago. Wouldn't it be cool if a bunch of WP posted their profile just to compare answers? Yeah. I'm weird like that.

Anyways, I think you're taking the messaging thing a little too seriously. All you really have to do, and what I suspect most guys do, is message a tonnn of girls/guys/whateveryoulike a small to mid length message. You're bound to get replies that way. Try not to be shy. Just message a bunch of people without putting a lot of thought into it, and when someone is actually interested, you'll be able to tell.

Why we males are supposed to whore ourselves by blindly sending messages to tons of girls? We're supposed to have zero standard and no sense of appreciation for individualism,no?

The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Nov 2010, 6:11 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Jono wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jono wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jono wrote:

I have a question. For those of you who have used OKCupid, what does it mean when someone all of a sudden no longer shows up on the search matches even though their profile still exists?

Just to let you know, I've messaged someone new. This is the first time that I've messaged someone first and they've replied.

It means that they have put you on the ignore list.

So, the girl I had the nice conversation with last has decided to hide me. How wonderful.

Yea, it always happen there, probably she found a hotter guy and said to herself "Why I am wasting my time with this boring science guy? Bye bye fato!" **clicking on hide button**

Sorry, but this how it is.

It's funny though that she was the first to message me, saying that she was interested. In any case, we didn't even discuss science. Oh well.

maybe she changed her settings so that her goal no longer meshes with yours? for example, if you are saying you want an LTR and she recently decided she wants friends only, she could change some kind of settings right? then when you search for women in your area that want an LTR, she would have come up before, but not anymore.

hard to say though. it's possible (like Boo basically said) that she decided you were not a good match, but it's also possible she decided she is looking for a different kind of relationship or something.

Either way, jono is wasting his time with her.

Stellar
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08 Nov 2010, 9:16 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

Why we males are supposed to whore ourselves by blindly sending messages to tons of girls? We're supposed to have zero standard and no sense of appreciation for individualism,no?

How is it whoring yourself? You know, people in some relationships actually started off being friends with eachother. There are a lot of females on that website and I'm sure he could find different things he likes about whoever he decides to message. He's setting A LOT of hope on the few girls he does message.

The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Nov 2010, 9:36 am

Stellar wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

Why we males are supposed to whore ourselves by blindly sending messages to tons of girls? We're supposed to have zero standard and no sense of appreciation for individualism,no?

How is it whoring yourself? You know, people in some relationships actually started off being friends with eachother.

This has nothing to do with sending messages to every breathing female in the area on okcupid.

Quote:

There are a lot of females on that website and I'm sure he could find different things he likes about whoever he decides to message. He's setting A LOT of hope on the few girls he does message.

True, but sending messages to tons of girls there is self-whoring.

Stellar
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08 Nov 2010, 10:41 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Stellar wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

Why we males are supposed to whore ourselves by blindly sending messages to tons of girls? We're supposed to have zero standard and no sense of appreciation for individualism,no?

How is it whoring yourself? You know, people in some relationships actually started off being friends with eachother.

This has nothing to do with sending messages to every breathing female in the area on okcupid.

Quote:

There are a lot of females on that website and I'm sure he could find different things he likes about whoever he decides to message. He's setting A LOT of hope on the few girls he does message.

True, but sending messages to tons of girls there is self-whoring.

You're taking "tons" a bit too literally in this situation.

Jono
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08 Nov 2010, 11:58 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Jono wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jono wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Jono wrote:

It means that they have put you on the ignore list.

So, the girl I had the nice conversation with last has decided to hide me. How wonderful.

It's funny though that she was the first to message me, saying that she was interested. In any case, we didn't even discuss science. Oh well.

Her settings haven't changed. I've just checked her profile and based on those settings, I should still be able to see her in the match search.

Anyway, I already followed Boo's advice about asking for an explanation as well as asking if I even have been blocked but that was before neither you nor Moog made your posts. She hasn't replied yet even though she logged on this morning. If I've been blocked, I suspect it's because of the distance.

Jono
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08 Nov 2010, 12:04 pm

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

I'm only targeting a small subgroup of people who I think would be compatible with me in a long-term relationship. Sending messages to more than one person only increases the chances of getting a first reply but my ultimate aim is actually to try and meet someone through OKCupid. So I would like to have conversations going on for longer than one reply through messaging.

spongy
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08 Nov 2010, 12:11 pm

Jono wrote:

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

The thing is if you send a message to a girl on a dating site your chance of getting a reply is low, if you send messages to a higher number of females the chance of getting a reply is higher. From the first reply she gives you can try to stablish a conversation, I believe what she mentions is fairly common on dating sites

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Jono
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08 Nov 2010, 1:16 pm

spongy wrote:

Jono wrote:

Stellar wrote:

We are an 81% match

Yes, but there aren't that many in my area that meet the criteria I'm looking for or are matches. I don't want to message people who aren't suitable and they will likely not reply to me either. It's not a complete hit and and miss thing.

Jono
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14 Nov 2010, 1:39 pm

I've noticed that someone who I didn't message previously because they hadn't been online for a long time had logged into OKCupid 5 days ago. So now I've sent her a message.

If you guys take a look at my profile now, you'll notice that I've also taken 3 OKCupid tests. I scored high on Simon-Baron Cohen's AQ test as expected.

Jono
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17 Nov 2010, 1:41 pm

Do you guys think my new profile photo is better?

Moog
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17 Nov 2010, 2:55 pm

Hi Jono. I think it is better. But of the 3, I think number 3 is best choice.

Have you tried that 'best face' thing they do? It's kinda interesting, if a little tedious to compare 100 pairs of photographs.

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Jono
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17 Nov 2010, 3:13 pm

Moog wrote:

I could try the best face thing. Moog, how do you change which photo is to be used as the profile photo. I found that I could just set it to a different photo when I uploaded the last two but now I can't find those settings.

Moog
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17 Nov 2010, 3:39 pm

Jono wrote:

Moog wrote:

Go to my photos, then profile photos, then there's a little bar on the right that holds your photos in order, you can click and slide them up and down to change it.

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yellowtamarin
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17 Nov 2010, 5:27 pm

Hey Jono,

I've just had a nice long read of this thread, and I thought I'd contribute as a female who is familiar with okcupid.

Jono wrote:

Ok, I'll do that. I've replied back asking he if she has any questions for me. I'll see how it goes.

I'm not sure if I'm unique in feeling this way, but I don't respond well to a guy asking if I have any questions for him. It makes it sound like he is a bit self-obsessed or lazy, and would rather just talk about himself than have a conversation with me.

Jono wrote:

At what point do you exchange e-mail addresses?

Is it necessary to exchange email addresses? I would have thought just chatting through the message function of okcupid would be fine. In any case I wouldn't really put too much thought into when is the "right time".

Again, I don't know if my opinions are typical of females on the site, but I like initial messages that are short, and that ask me about something on my profile (or make a comment on it), and don't start off with talking about themselves. I do the same when messaging someone, I just say something funny/stupid/totally-unrelated-to-dating to get their attention and then talk about myself later if they ask.

In fact, the thing I love about okcupid is that it doesn't have to be a dating site, it's basically a fun site for the more nerdy people of the world. So I treat it that way, and shy away from people who are too quick to want to discuss serious things, or to talk too much about compatibility etc. Just have fun with it!

Hope I have been of some help.

P.S. 91% match, not bad! :wink:

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