Why men are increasingly preferring Video Games over dating

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I think women should chase men the way men chase after women but that doesnt happen that much which sucks

In a perfect world, I'd engage in my special interests and have a nice girl by my side. I want both, but for me having AS, the whole flirting/courtship thing is new territory for me, even though I'm 26. It's the one thing they don't teach you in social skills training. Because of high anxiety, I normally don't ask out girls. The only way I ever got a girlfriend is if they initiated something first.



This makes me recall a story I had with my friend last night. He's 62 and neurotypical, but he told me something that I found odd. He said that when it comes to asking women out, men don't have any confidence, especially in the context of just going up to her and start talking to her. He definitely has no social difficulty, but he never had any confidence in asking women out. He said the one time he saw a women who he went to school with years later at a viewing. He told me this girl was always good looking in school and through her life, and everyone wanted to go out with her. He had a Corvette when he was in school too. He always thought he'd be turned down, so he never bothered asking her out. At the viewing, they were talking, and she asked him why he never took her for a ride in that Corvette. He was taken back by this, because he thought he never had a chance.

He met a women where he worked. He always liked her, always wanted to ask her out, but never did because he was afraid of getting shot down. The one day, a friend of his says to him that she was asking about him. He was taken back by this as well, so the next time she came in they talked and went out on a few dates.

This still kind of amazes me, he's successful in his own business, knows a ton of people, but still lacked confidence in asking out women he liked, and he's neurotypical. But I guess it's an issue with most men, is that they don't have confidence when it comes to asking women out, neurotypical or Aspie. So then talking to him, this got me thinking. If I asked a women out and get turned down, or don't ask out a women out at all, and she didn't want to go out with me anyway, the end result is still the same.

Now, if I ask a women out and she wants to go out with me, then I succeeded, if I don't ask a women out and she wanted to go out with me, but never would approach me, then the end result is the same as my previous statement. This got me thinking, that women are not something that's completely out of my realm of ability. They are not so in demand as I thought because there is a line of guys waiting to ask them out. A lot of the women I had a crush on were never "popular", and definitely don't have a hoard of guys trying to break down their door. They are just average women, just like I am an average guy. Having that conversation made me realize that women are not something that I could never attain. And in thinking that they are just regular, normal people like I am, and not the unattainable goddesses that I thought they were, it makes the act of asking them out that much easier. Rejection sucks, but it's the same result even if you didn't ask them out and they never wanted to go out with you anyway, so you really never lost or gained anything in the process.

Some women feel like they shouldn't have to pursue men because in her mind, if the man wants her, he'll go after her. Now if both people feel like the other should pursue, then nothing will get done. So everyone should pursue! It's more efficient that way. Also, some people don't have pursuit in their personality. >.<

I have had women chase me in the past but they only wanted one thing I hate being treated like a peace of meat

Huh, I could say the same thing, only that it was men who wanted to use me for one thing. *shrug*

And theirs a joke their about pressing the right buttons yeah

Except if it's a stupid QTE, nobody does it better than God of War ....

I think Aspie men have ALWAYS perferred video games over dating.

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are there no other aspie women who have had video game obsessions? i once played tetris for 20 hours straight (well, i did take brief breaks to eat and use the washroom). and my family jokingly considered doing an intervention on me because of my zuma habit.

games are so much easier than social interactions. but you can't snuggle with a gameboy, and it can't give you an orgasm (that i know of), and it doesn't respond if you talk to it.

gamer boy? cuddly. gameboy? not so much.

(further note: if a lot of men are supposedly opting out and choosing video games, what are the women choosing? because for every single guy there is a single woman to match).

Gawd I understand EXACTLY what this article is talking about, and I'm female! I've got a little bit of "what's wrong with my gender?!" going on here.

I've never dated, and at this point I really don't care what I'm missing.

You set yourself up for so many possible 'not safe for work' replies I could respond with.....but I will be a gentleman. >_<;;

bring it on, sir. i assure you i can take it! i have been called many things, but lady is not one of them.

*sigh* you totally missed the point of this article and its message.

Go back and read the "Ahh and what about sex?" part.

I personally think it's more to do with how uninteresting woman can be as a whole...that's not to say that all of them are uninteresting...but we can say the same thing about woman (about why they shop, party and "hang out")...

I tend to hear that woman (young adults in particular), are partying hard, getting into drugs and spend more time with their "girlfriends" and I am guessing that guys are fed up that they all act the same (that's not to say that there are guys out there who like to drink just for the social aspect), so they decide that playing games entertain them moreso then looking out for woman (let's be honest, woman make it hard for us Aspie guys to hit on them).

It is a downward trend that some of us have gone in (or still are), so I can see why the article is true.

Many years ago I showed the symptoms of "being an aspie". I no longer do. In fact, right now I'm the most charismatic guy in any room I walk into, and the center of attention, with women running up to grind with me, hit on me, etc...

BUT... I still have a hard-time fully trusting women. Why? Back when I was (or had the symptoms of being an) aspie, women treated me like crap. Even though women now treat me as if though I'm brad pitt - I still have a thought going in the back of my mind "5 years ago you would have treated me like a piece of feces".

Sure, she might have been one of the 2% of women who treated me like a human being back when I was "aspie"... But I can't really know. I wish I could fake being aspie to test women :d I've found that it's an on/off switch.

Today there's nothing I can do to not have women smitten with me. Heck, I can run up in pajamas, unshowered to the store downstairs, and looking like I don't want to meet anyone... and women will still chat me up and hit on me.

i wasn't commenting on the article. i was commenting on someone's post. i didn't read the article. it's an opinion piece, and not at all scientific, therefore i am not interested in reading it.... but i AM interested in the opinions of people in the thread, and how they think the subject applies to them.

I'm happy for you dude, I doubt you've ridden the Aspergers as it's probably masked so well that people would think you have nothing up with you (I don't say wrong as it's not exactly a bad thing).

I agree with you about being wary of woman though...the article summed it up really well...and since they really believe that they are right and we are wrong...it'll be them who end up with the short end of the stick, although since you have loads of charisma the woman believe that you are right for them...but since us guys think differently, we are better at picking out our partners from the good ones to the bad.

The best thing you can do is analyze a girl who you think are genuine...if not...just move onto the next girl...you have all the time you want...the girls who may think of you as rubbish are the ones trying to look around now...since they can't find decent guys because of their mentality of "Decent guys will walk up to me".

Disclaimer: Not trying to offend any girls here either, be it Aspies or NT.