Im in love with someone who has Aspergers

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Current situation: nothing happening.

Options through asking: nothing happening / something happening.

So ask.

If he says 'no' you'll be no worse off.

Quoted for truth.

Even if you do get rejected I'm sure some Wrong Planeteers on the east coast will help you out with that (not me - I'm 5,000 miles away!). Either ask him now (or very soon) or stop whinging, because frankly it's getting tiresome. Alternatively, you could take him out back, give his balls the best clean-out they've ever had and then ask him. Either way, please stop asking us. We've given over all the help we can possibly give you. It is up to you now.

Page twelve?

Hopefully never.

lol awwww Noah i appreciate your help- any and all viewpoints are certainly appreciated even though were all different (blah blah blahhhh... hahahaha )

1. i usually think that whole "spidey" sense thing where you think someone likes you to be true but i'm always a little apprehensive (i tihnk deep down i feel as most people do- NT or Aspie- that no one could ever love me or find me even partway appealing... i do notice that he does try extra hard to communicate with me and i admire him very much for it...

2. lol i probably would and would probably attempt to duck him at every and any chance possible if that were the answer i got back... i'm very cautious of his comfort level- i don't want to make him feel nervous or uncomfortable... pehaps he might feel that way anyways but i would rather him be relaxed and i've noticed since we've started talking more regularly i stopped noticing him sweating above his lip (lollll) but he does get quite a bit more fidgety... i can definitely see that he doesn't like playing games... luckily, neither do i! lol i agree with you saying that if he liked me once he's not going to sto pliking me... he might not have wanted to take it to relationship level with me, but as gamester and tequila keep saying, i'll never know unless i try, right? i hardly think i'm normal hahaha even around other NT's i'm usually the crazy, odd one that people think has problems so i would most definitely think it was me who screwed up... hahahaha and i'm DEFINITELY projecting here...

sometimes i will admit (and i'm hoping he doesn't feel like that about me) females play games or, at least, don't make it seem as obvious as they could that they like a guy so even if you were NT it probably wouldn't have been as obvious to you if she was trying to flirt in that way that teenage girls do.... the asking might've been more directed flirting but if i were you (and even if i weren't lol) i woulda thought she was asking me on another innocent study date (although minus the date part).... but i think it was a bit more complicated because she didn't necessarily understand that you had AS (although who just randomnly tells someone like that, anyway?) or what it all entails.... so i would definitely chalk that up to a learning experience...

i definitely get what you mean and i really appreciate your mini-story and all that you had to say!! its been very helpful in trying to boost up my confidence within the situation... and it helped oh so much! thank you, friend!

ps: love is so confusing, i'm so suprised i haven't lost my head within the situation yet, lol but theres always time!

lol and with your loving persistence to knock me in my big stupid dumb head with me needing not to be nervious about the rejection, i'll be able to do it tomorrow.... it'll just require a bit of more-than-worth-it premeditation and hopefully with that and fate i'll be able to ask without pissing my pants or freezing... hahahaha j/k

if not friends, then people who can at least remain friendly when we walk past each other... or would cordial have been the right word choice?

lol ya'll certainly do know how to make a girl feel more pathethic than a something or nother!! ! hahahaha.... but i appreciate all the criticism... maybe i'll actually feel pathetic enough that i'll just do it without thinking... i agree i won't be any worser off... i'll just be the same way i was before i asked... lol just have to remember that tomorrow!

yeah, yeah, yeah he's right and he should make this his living as well! hahahaha lol that would be great if i could get some love from some east (or west) coasters on here.... i'm alwys looking to talk to new people... wow! you really are far! lol and i know there has to be some WP ladies out by you that would be very impressed with your charm lol and your wit...

hahaha i am, i am.... it is getting tiresome, just trying to get it all together now and take it all in...hahahaha well since "clean-outs" are my specialty i'm sure he'd quite enjoy that... lol... and its a great conversation starter "hey i have your ----- in my mouth, wanna go out sometime?" hahahahaha oh goodness! you guys have given all the help i could possibly want (or need for that matter) so until i post back with what happened, just allow me to ramble my insecurities on here without being judged (or told to stop) lol i'd certainly appreciate it!! ! hahaha!!

yes. lets hope so.

though according to my evil ex. I'm a player. hehehe...no I'm a guy with more female friends then male. also, I'm an obsessive stalker......eh.....well I may have been.

If there are any, I've yet to see them. There are really no Wrong Planeteers near me. All the ladies seem to live in Manchester, which is an hour's drive away. I don't know Manchester well but I'll be visiting Trafford almost daily so if any eligible ladies who like my style (misanthropic and abrasive but likable enough, basically) would like to meet me just gis a shout.



Don't take it in. Don't think about it. You've done that enough. Just do. Go and ask him. If I were closer to you I'd give you an earpiece so I could give you an ear-bashing whenever I thought it prudent. Seriously. Stop worrying. The bloke likes you (who wouldn't? I do) so go and ask him. If he says 'no', it's his loss. Trust us on this one.



That's what we're here for. Post your insecurities but don't think it won't stop us commenting on them and trying to help you. We're here to help, remember? Now, go and do. I wish you the best of luck.

aye.

I know what you're doing...




























STOP PROCRASTINATING!!

final verdict? so i went to him today when i was on break- maybe he was having a bad day or something ( i hadn't seen him for two days since he was off) i don't know what had happened, but i asked him to help me find something (so i could ask him then...) and he blew me off....

in fact, instead of him showing me where it was like he usually has done he pointed in a direction and that was it...worse yet is he took the next customer like i didn't exist... so i'm done.... i think he's either lost interest in me or thinks that i was playing games so i'm:

A. too damn tired to get blown off again before im set to confess to him

B. take a risk at all... everyone says (people on this site and even people i know) honestly, i don't give a f**k....maybe i won't ever have another chance with him again or another chance to get to know him and i'm missing out or whatever... but honestly...he's missing out on far more than he could even begin to comprehend... and thats the sad part.... i'm not going to keep putting myself out there- maybe thats some dumb NT problem or fault i have but what i was trying to get across is that i dont even put myself out there like this for NT MALES!

maybe i'm giving up too soon, or was pissed he brushed me off before i got it all off my chest, but frankly.... who the f**k needs all this trouble? i like him and i will for a while but i don't think he had to be so cold to me today without it being warranted... i may be over reacting but now i'm just pissed...

To be honest, I wouldn't bother. I think you're beginning to come across as a bit needy and obsessive. I'd drop it now and look somewhere else. I don't think continuing any further with this is in his or your best interests. You've done your best - far more than any other woman would. There are plenty of other people out there, Asperger's or no Asperger's. We're all different, us lot. Give us a try. I think it's getting a bit undignified to be honest. He has a woman practically at his feet and he brushes her off? Sod that. If I were closer to you, you could have me instead!

But have a think about what you want to do, OK?



I think you've done enough. Carry on and you sound desperate. It's his loss. Now move on. I hope he's really enjoying speaking to someone miles away on the end of an Internet connection instead of a real woman, though. I hope it was worth it.

Thats a shame, especially since I'm now caught up in this little soap opera you've got going on. You know, he could say the exact same thing about you when you say:

"i'm not going to keep putting myself out there- maybe thats some dumb NT problem or fault i have but what i was trying to get across is that i dont even put myself out there like this for NT MALES! "

It would read:

"i'm not going to keep putting myself out there- maybe thats some dumb AS problem or fault i have but what i was trying to get across is that i dont even put myself out there like this for ANYONE!! !!"

Its always a bad indication when you can make a personal statement you make about someone else apply to yourself.

He might have been having a really bad day, or it may be he has come to the same faulty conclusion you have, but faster than you have. People with AS generally have less patience, as they already have a negative outlook on life. And, why is it only his loss??? Bull. It could be that you BOTH lose out.

Maybe someone at work told him something about you to screw with you guys, you mentioned that people were giving you crap about him, and you were gone for two days.

This attitutude is also a convenient excuse to avoid the possibility of rejection. He blew you off once! ONCE! after weeks of niceness. And, how do you even know that he blew you off!! ! Maybe his grandma passed away, or something else happened that was really awful. Okay, okay, maybe I'm just trying to push you into it because I want to know if he liked you or not, but still, I'm making some good points...

Yes. thank you Tequilla, I was about to say the same bloody thing.

Caramel, darling. you waited to dang long. Oh there is still hope. He may have had a bad day. that might be it, so what I want you to is not give up, as a semi professional advice giver and psychoanalyst/councilor, I'm ordering you not to give up, at least until new years, if by then, then I will order you to give up, move on, and foooooooorget.