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What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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steviewonderau
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04 Nov 2012, 8:25 pm

billiscool wrote:
women will date only 90% of men but leave 10% out (which are the shy,aspie,social anxiety,adam sandler)
men will date 100% of the women.
all women can find a date because men don't care about women flaws. women do care alot about men's flaws.
so want to have a life until women don't give a crap about men being shy,socialy akward, not being tough, weak conversation skills.
You are possible out of luck unless you can somehow become an alpha male.


+1 If you are male, women expect you to be attractive, have social status, lots of money and have a good career. Clearly proves that women are shallow and materialistic. Being the minority, women can be fussy when it comes to dating and relationships. Guys who do not meet all of the high expectations will be labelled a creep, friend zoned or possibly accused of sexual harassment. Lose-lose scenario.



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05 Nov 2012, 1:26 am

Shatbat wrote:
LKL wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
Women mainly see guys as walking ATMs. To a woman a more valuable ATM is a guy with a bigger account balance. Women are shallow and materialistic. There is no such thing as society, we are just consumers participating in the economy.

So why is it, again, that men frequently whine when I want to pay for my own meal on a date...?


Because being walking ATM's is all we men are worth for, so if you pay your own meal you're taking from us the only thing we've got left and we men don't like that :lol:

If you don't have the self-esteem to make an effort at conversation, cuddling, partnership, mutual support, sex, brainstorming, leisure activity companionship, and anything else besides dispensing money, why should I make an effort?



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05 Nov 2012, 1:30 am

steviewonderau wrote:
billiscool wrote:
women will date only 90% of men but leave 10% out (which are the shy,aspie,social anxiety,adam sandler)
men will date 100% of the women.
all women can find a date because men don't care about women flaws. women do care alot about men's flaws.
so want to have a life until women don't give a crap about men being shy,socialy akward, not being tough, weak conversation skills.
You are possible out of luck unless you can somehow become an alpha male.


+1 If you are male, women expect you to be attractive, have social status, lots of money and have a good career. Clearly proves that women are shallow and materialistic. Being the minority, women can be fussy when it comes to dating and relationships. Guys who do not meet all of the high expectations will be labelled a creep, friend zoned or possibly accused of sexual harassment. Lose-lose scenario.

dude, if that's true all it means is that men think that one vagina is as good as another and the rest of the person doesn't matter. Effing Christ, do you even think about what some of the s**t you say looks like from the other side?

Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.



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05 Nov 2012, 2:41 am

LKL wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.

That's all well and good, except it's been my experience that many people (women a little moreso) have pretty big problems with forgiveness. All those left-up toilet seats, toothpaste tube squeezing errors and occasional fart in the same room build up to a seething cauldron of bitter spite and rage.

No forgiveness = no longevity.



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05 Nov 2012, 2:45 am

BlueMax wrote:
LKL wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.

That's all well and good, except it's been my experience that many people (women a little moreso) have pretty big problems with forgiveness. All those left-up toilet seats, toothpaste tube squeezing errors and occasional fart in the same room build up to a seething cauldron of bitter spite and rage.

No forgiveness = no longevity.


It's not about forgiveness. They are unhappy for other reasons which they cannot articulate and the resentment and bitterness is an expression of that. Forgiveness will not fix it. Addressing the source of their unhappiness is the only thing that would stop that kind of thing, because then forgiving is easy and natural, they will not feel the need to hold onto the bad stuff. It's up to them to address it,, but the fact is that most don't know how to - in those cases if they are really interested in addresssing it, then they may need some help from you to do that - but ultimately it is their responsiblity, although you should support them in their attempt to do it.


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05 Nov 2012, 3:06 am

Kjas wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
LKL wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.

That's all well and good, except it's been my experience that many people (women a little moreso) have pretty big problems with forgiveness. All those left-up toilet seats, toothpaste tube squeezing errors and occasional fart in the same room build up to a seething cauldron of bitter spite and rage.

No forgiveness = no longevity.


It's not about forgiveness. They are unhappy for other reasons which they cannot articulate and the resentment and bitterness is an expression of that. Forgiveness will not fix it. Addressing the source of their unhappiness is the only thing that would stop that kind of thing, because then forgiving is easy and natural, they will not feel the need to hold onto the bad stuff. It's up to them to address it,, but the fact is that most don't know how to - in those cases if they are really interested in addresssing it, then they may need some help from you to do that - but ultimately it is their responsiblity, although you should support them in their attempt to do it.


I'm glad you put it this way... it essentially says what I agree with - you're responsible for your own happiness and you shouldn't expect someone else to MAKE you happy when you otherwise wouldn't be. Unfortunately, many unhappy people are looking for someone else who will somehow cure that. That's unhealthy for both people in the couple!



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05 Nov 2012, 3:29 am

Women reject us guys most of the time and they get an ego boost out of it. Most females are not worth the time and effort because they are either already taken, users or are crazy. If a male does not have charisma, good looks and financial security he has little or no chance in regards to dating success.



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05 Nov 2012, 3:35 am

steviewonderau wrote:
Women reject us guys most of the time and they get an ego boost out of it. Most females are not worth the time and effort because they are either already taken, users or are crazy. If a male does not have charisma, good looks and financial security he has little or no chance in regards to dating success.


CBC Radio had a really good program on today discussing exactly that! About ~75 years ago, a person was judged by their character - how they treated other people. When people left their towns for the big city corporations, character has been 99% replaced by charisma which is the powerful first impression people can get. Since the odds are you'll never see the same person twice in a big city, that first impression is now absolutely critical in the business world as well as potential mates. While it applies to both genders, it's almost essential for men, and those without that powerful charisma are now judged harshly for it.



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05 Nov 2012, 3:44 pm

billiscool wrote:
Well, it's tough for some of us men to get a date. Not only do we have to approach women, we have to know how to talk them, what to say, and how to hold conversation. If you say one wrong thing that can break the whole thing.
like I said in other thread going up to a woman and talking to woman is just a very small part.
How many men can approach women but get label as ''creep'' or get put into the ''friendzone''.

the way that some people like I want to have a life will get a date is two things have to happen
1-women would have to approach men
2- this is most important; they would not care about aspie men flaws.
basically they would have to think ''like a man'' and being be able to eat the whole pie and not just leave the crust.
women will date only 90% of men but leave 10% out (which are the shy,aspie,social anxiety,adam sandler)
men will date 100% of the women.
all women can find a date because men don't care about women flaws. women do care alot about men's flaws.
so want to have a life until women don't give a crap about men being shy,socialy akward, not being tough, weak conversation skills.
You are possible out of luck unless you can somehow become an alpha male.


that is obviously true



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05 Nov 2012, 3:48 pm

BlueMax wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
Women reject us guys most of the time and they get an ego boost out of it. Most females are not worth the time and effort because they are either already taken, users or are crazy. If a male does not have charisma, good looks and financial security he has little or no chance in regards to dating success.


CBC Radio had a really good program on today discussing exactly that! About ~75 years ago, a person was judged by their character - how they treated other people. When people left their towns for the big city corporations, character has been 99% replaced by charisma which is the powerful first impression people can get. Since the odds are you'll never see the same person twice in a big city, that first impression is now absolutely critical in the business world as well as potential mates. While it applies to both genders, it's almost essential for men, and those without that powerful charisma are now judged harshly for it.
:roll:
Obviously, women didn't reject as many suitors back then, I guess... maybe they just married the first 30-year-old pedophile to come sniffing around them when they hit 14? Or maybe they married the guy their father picked to further his political or business alliances, and had no choice in the matter.



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05 Nov 2012, 3:51 pm

BlueMax wrote:
LKL wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.

That's all well and good, except it's been my experience that many people (women a little moreso) have pretty big problems with forgiveness. All those left-up toilet seats, toothpaste tube squeezing errors and occasional fart in the same room build up to a seething cauldron of bitter spite and rage.

No forgiveness = no longevity.

It's not about the toilet seat. It's about the fact that you don't give enough of a damn to alter a minor aspect of your behavior in a way that does you no harm, and benefits your partner, when you're living with another person. She probably changed all kinds of things about herself in order to make you comfortable, and you either didn't notice it or just took it as your due.



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05 Nov 2012, 4:05 pm

I let the women do the approaching for 1 I'm shy and another I don't like being shot down or make a fool of myself plus I freeze.When a woman does the approaching it gives me the option of choosing whether she's worthy or not unfortunately I am oblivious when a woman shows interest in me and don't catch on to non verbal cues right away.


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05 Nov 2012, 4:41 pm

LKL wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
steviewonderau wrote:
Women reject us guys most of the time and they get an ego boost out of it. Most females are not worth the time and effort because they are either already taken, users or are crazy. If a male does not have charisma, good looks and financial security he has little or no chance in regards to dating success.


CBC Radio had a really good program on today discussing exactly that! About ~75 years ago, a person was judged by their character - how they treated other people. When people left their towns for the big city corporations, character has been 99% replaced by charisma which is the powerful first impression people can get. Since the odds are you'll never see the same person twice in a big city, that first impression is now absolutely critical in the business world as well as potential mates. While it applies to both genders, it's almost essential for men, and those without that powerful charisma are now judged harshly for it.
:roll:
Obviously, women didn't reject as many suitors back then, I guess... maybe they just married the first 30-year-old pedophile to come sniffing around them when they hit 14? Or maybe they married the guy their father picked to further his political or business alliances, and had no choice in the matter.


LKL wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
LKL wrote:
Women are selective because we're trying to find someone that we're not going to hate five years down the line - ie, someone with whom we can have a conversation, not just a stick to cover.

That's all well and good, except it's been my experience that many people (women a little moreso) have pretty big problems with forgiveness. All those left-up toilet seats, toothpaste tube squeezing errors and occasional fart in the same room build up to a seething cauldron of bitter spite and rage.

No forgiveness = no longevity.

It's not about the toilet seat. It's about the fact that you don't give enough of a damn to alter a minor aspect of your behavior in a way that does you no harm, and benefits your partner, when you're living with another person. She probably changed all kinds of things about herself in order to make you comfortable, and you either didn't notice it or just took it as your due.


^^^ You want to see a crappy attitude? Man-hate at its finest. Flip around someone not forgiving the tiniest of faults and make it the other person's fault for being so vile as to occasionally leave the toilet seat up. By not catering to HER every whim, he deserves contempt.

Well guess what? We have to forgive little indiscretions too, like that toothpaste tube, using copious amounts of toilet paper, or waiting until the moment we just sat down before asking us to get up and get you something instead of doing it yourself, etc. Those minuscule give-and-take moments are what make or break a relationship!



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05 Nov 2012, 5:03 pm

Yes, yes they are. And whenever a person says, 'It's all her fault!' or 'It's all his fault,' they're probably wrong. You started out with the former. It's not man-hate; it's disgust with another bitter divorcee who can't recognize his (in this case) own role in a breakup.



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05 Nov 2012, 5:45 pm

LKL wrote:
Yes, yes they are. And whenever a person says, 'It's all her fault!' or 'It's all his fault,' they're probably wrong. You started out with the former. It's not man-hate; it's disgust with another bitter divorcee who can't recognize his (in this case) own role in a breakup.


No I didn't, you assumed it. Why are you even bringing my breakup from years ago into this??



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05 Nov 2012, 5:47 pm

You did yourself, by implication.