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Cafeaulait
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20 Feb 2013, 4:24 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
What does "get heavy", mean? :?:


It means you´re gonna get preggers.



Northeastern292
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20 Feb 2013, 4:44 pm

It turns out that they are in the places that you would least expect. My valentine's date back in 2009 (also a close friend) didn't know she was on the spectrum until two years later.

However, girls on the spectrum are rare in general.



BlueMax
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20 Feb 2013, 4:48 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
aspiesandra27 wrote:
What does "get heavy", mean? :?:


It means you´re gonna get preggers.


Further proof that f$%^#!ing with mods only leads to trouble. ;)



qawer
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20 Feb 2013, 5:17 pm

Northeastern292 wrote:
It turns out that they are in the places that you would least expect. My valentine's date back in 2009 (also a close friend) didn't know she was on the spectrum until two years later.


Hey,

Yeah that's also my impression. I just think I will regret it very much later on if I settle for some sort of NT-relationship.

Northeastern292 wrote:
However, girls on the spectrum are rare in general.


Unfortunately, I think you are right...thanks for the input mate :thumright:



Northeastern292
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20 Feb 2013, 6:27 pm

qawer wrote:
Northeastern292 wrote:
It turns out that they are in the places that you would least expect. My valentine's date back in 2009 (also a close friend) didn't know she was on the spectrum until two years later.


Hey,

Yeah that's also my impression. I just think I will regret it very much later on if I settle for some sort of NT-relationship.

Northeastern292 wrote:
However, girls on the spectrum are rare in general.


Unfortunately, I think you are right...thanks for the input mate :thumright:


Trust me, for the first time, I'm considering dating out of state, at least if I would date someone with AS from another state. They're rare in NY.

But for everyone here, don't limit yourself to just going out with those with AS. You might find that NT that you find attractive might have a personal connection to autism, and able to understand you almost as well as someone with AS.



balletnerd
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20 Feb 2013, 6:45 pm

I'd like to know the answer to OP's question myself but for different reasons. I've never met any out aspie women, only one i suspected works for the same company as me different office. Her special interest is taking GCSE and A Level exams in obscure subjects and she has same ssues with eye contact, shaking hands and business etiquette that I do.

What I wanted to say to OP was not to write off all NT women. There are some that deviate from the normal cookie-cutter type, some with quirks, and the sort of sensitvity you're after I'm sure. They are rare creatures too but aspie women even rarer.



MsFogg
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20 Feb 2013, 8:00 pm

Perhaps we are a breed that goes unlabeled.



qawer
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21 Feb 2013, 6:58 am

balletnerd wrote:
What I wanted to say to OP was not to write off all NT women. There are some that deviate from the normal cookie-cutter type, some with quirks, and the sort of sensitvity you're after I'm sure. They are rare creatures too but aspie women even rarer.


The problem is likely that it's the child-like way of aspies, and their intelligence, that I truly connect to. NT's have "grown out of their inner child". I know that's how it's "supposed" to be. But that doesn't help in regards of love. Most people seem quite friendly but not warm! I need that warmth. :sunny:



Wolfheart
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21 Feb 2013, 8:50 am

This is just a suggestion but have you considered working on a Disney cruise? You are bound to meet someone on there and even if you don't, you'll have a blast, you have the look for it as well.

Disney Cruise Line Jobs

I know for a fact I probably need to go to an Arnold Schwarzenegger 80's throwback sci fi convention to probably meet my dream girl, you know, we all have our idea of meeting that dream girl who wants to sit up watching The Terminator, Star Wars or well probably the Lion King in your case until 2 in the morning.

I once knew a girl who once used to want me to sit up with her watching Disney and romance flick type films until 3 or 4 Sunday morning. You would have got along with her, unfortunately I don't know her now, haha, different film tastes and all that.



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21 Feb 2013, 9:03 am

Northeastern292 wrote:

But for everyone here, don't limit yourself to just going out with those with AS. You might find that NT that you find attractive might have a personal connection to autism, and able to understand you almost as well as someone with AS.


It's true. Turned out that my NT boyfriend's brother fits more traits of Asperger's than I do, but is not diagnosed with anything. Also since my boyfriend is an engineer, he knows of people who fit the description in his program.

A lot of people go undiagnosed. Even then, NTs can have Aspie traits and be geeks or nerds over certain things as well. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference between a nerdy NT and an aspie.


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Wolfheart
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21 Feb 2013, 9:09 am

deltafunction wrote:
A lot of people go undiagnosed. Even then, NTs can have Aspie traits and be geeks or nerds over certain things as well. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference between a nerdy NT and an aspie.


Big difference most social nerds can read social cues, body language, facial expressions, you might not be at the severity in the spectrum. It seems like you are one of the more low to mild people on the spectrum so maybe that's why you don't see a great contrast between the two.



deltafunction
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21 Feb 2013, 9:11 am

Wolfheart wrote:
deltafunction wrote:
A lot of people go undiagnosed. Even then, NTs can have Aspie traits and be geeks or nerds over certain things as well. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference between a nerdy NT and an aspie.


Big difference most social nerds can read social cues, body language, facial expressions, you might not be at the severity in the spectrum. It seems like you are one of the more low to mild people on the spectrum so maybe that's why you don't see a great contrast between the two.


I am. I also work with people too and don't have trouble with it, so yeah, if anything, I am mild.


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hyperlexian
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21 Feb 2013, 9:13 am

qawer wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
What I wanted to say to OP was not to write off all NT women. There are some that deviate from the normal cookie-cutter type, some with quirks, and the sort of sensitvity you're after I'm sure. They are rare creatures too but aspie women even rarer.


The problem is likely that it's the child-like way of aspies, and their intelligence, that I truly connect to. NT's have "grown out of their inner child". I know that's how it's "supposed" to be. But that doesn't help in regards of love. Most people seem quite friendly but not warm! I need that warmth. :sunny:

please do not stereotype us all like that. of all the aspies i have met, few have been anything like that at all. so it's not really an accurate descriptor. where are you getting this from?


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Wolfheart
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21 Feb 2013, 9:35 am

hyperlexian wrote:
qawer wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
What I wanted to say to OP was not to write off all NT women. There are some that deviate from the normal cookie-cutter type, some with quirks, and the sort of sensitvity you're after I'm sure. They are rare creatures too but aspie women even rarer.


The problem is likely that it's the child-like way of aspies, and their intelligence, that I truly connect to. NT's have "grown out of their inner child". I know that's how it's "supposed" to be. But that doesn't help in regards of love. Most people seem quite friendly but not warm! I need that warmth. :sunny:

please do not stereotype us all like that. of all the aspies i have met, few have been anything like that at all. so it's not really an accurate descriptor. where are you getting this from?


I think he is referring to that imagination, naivety and playfulness that we seem to have, he isn't talking about the level of maturity or intelligence. Many people on the spectrum can be extremely smart when it comes to certain subjects but they can still be emotionally naive. He could also be talking about the childlike features that females on the spectrum seem to have.



hyperlexian
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21 Feb 2013, 9:39 am

i went back and tried to figure out what exactly you're looking for, qawer... at first, your posts made it pretty clear that you wanted someone honest, trustworthy, caring, friendly and warm. that makes perfect sense.

Quote:
She was the very caring kind of girl. Really caring.


Quote:
friendly but not warm! I need that warmth.


Quote:
But a part of me is always missing that aspie-warmth when I am with a pure NT.


Quote:
Honesty and trust are two important aspects for me.


but what doesn't make sense to me is that you're looking for an aspie to specifically meet that criteria. to be honest i would not say that has much to do with aspies vs. NTs, except that NTs are often sometimes able to express warmth and caring in a socially acceptable way. there are countless threads that speculate whether aspies are cold, but really we just sometimes don't internalise the NT rituals for demonstrating that we care. we do care, we just sometimes don't show it in a way that people expect (mileage varies, of course).

qawer wrote:
Perhaps. I couldn't tell, haven't met many aspies in my life.


^^^ this is the most important thing you have said in the thread. i think you need to stop posting about how you think that aspies are, and start actually looking around the site, for a start. you have a very stereotyped idea of how aspies are, and you seem to want to recruit a girlfriend based on that flawed picture. more specifically this:

Quote:
child-like way of aspies


Quote:
sweet, warm-hearted, innocent, attractive little aspie-girl. (: I guess that does mean nt-look with aspie-personality.


aspie women are not like little innocent children, any more than NTs are like that. if you are looking for someone with those specific qualities, you may want to think long and hard about what exactly is motivating your search. you basically described a child's personality (you even used the word "little") in an adult body.


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hyperlexian
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21 Feb 2013, 9:45 am

Wolfheart wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
qawer wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
What I wanted to say to OP was not to write off all NT women. There are some that deviate from the normal cookie-cutter type, some with quirks, and the sort of sensitvity you're after I'm sure. They are rare creatures too but aspie women even rarer.


The problem is likely that it's the child-like way of aspies, and their intelligence, that I truly connect to. NT's have "grown out of their inner child". I know that's how it's "supposed" to be. But that doesn't help in regards of love. Most people seem quite friendly but not warm! I need that warmth. :sunny:

please do not stereotype us all like that. of all the aspies i have met, few have been anything like that at all. so it's not really an accurate descriptor. where are you getting this from?


I think he is referring to that imagination, naivety and playfulness that we seem to have, he isn't talking about the level of maturity or intelligence. Many people on the spectrum can be extremely smart when it comes to certain subjects but they can still be emotionally naive. He could also be talking about the childlike features that females on the spectrum seem to have.

i haven't seen any more imagination, playfulness in aspies as compared to NTs - read any diagnostic criteria or description of aspies and it just isn't in there. in fact, it is the absence of imaginative play in childhood is one criteria that can lead to the diagnosis of autism.

naivety depends on the aspie - theory of mind can lead to more naivety. but what does that say about a person if they are intentionally seeking out naive partners? it seems like it would be a strange thing to actively seek out.

we don't really have "childlike features" so i am not sure what you are on about with that. and it seems to me that it would be very, very weird if someone actually intentionally wanted to find a partner who looked like a child.


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