Why is chivalry good for anyone?
If they're doing it for women and not for men, and women aren't doing it for men, then why is ok for everyone to be rude to men?
With all due allowances for individuality, men and women are treated differently because they are different. It is also the case that chivalry can apply to men. Being chivalrous is the essence of the old idea of being a gentleman.
Different to the extent that one sex can't open their own doors and will be terribly upset if people stay seated when they enter the room?
Of course women can open the door for me and should do so when the guy's hands are full. Nobody gets terribly upsetif a guy doesn't stand up when a lady walks into the room. Where did you get that from? Nobody said anything like that at all. I said it was simple manners. You certainly aren't bound by them and are totally free to be as rude as you want. In fact, it's actually much better if people who are so upset over other people's politeness just don't try and pretend to be polite, so the rest of us with manners just won't expect anything out of them in terms of niceness.
It's simply manners, not something to tie your underwear in a knot and pull it up over your head about. If it offends you that much that some people were taught manners, then totally ignore them and refuse to participate in polite society.
You're missing the point. I'm not saying it's not polite to hold the door for people, or that people should just be rude.
What I am saying is that it's polite for ANYONE to hold the door for the people behind them if they get there first, or if the other person gets there first.
Chivalrous behaviour dictates that only men do this for women. This is stupid. Courtesy applies to everyone.
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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
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-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
He seems to be pulling the tolerance hypocrisy card, a common trick conservatives like to pull. To a lot of conservatives "tolerance" means moral relativism, which basically means you aren't allowed to have any views contrary to anyone else's views - which in practical terms equates to having no views at all... but the conservative is still allowed to be "right" in his/her views since he/she doesn't need to be "tolerant".
![shaking :shaking:](./images/smilies/icon_shaking.gif)
Due to this conundrum I don't even try to be a "tolerant liberal". Being an "intolerant liberal" is much better.
I'm thoroughly familiar with the type, the proud Texas conservative who cannot stand "liberals". Although to them, a "liberal" is basically anyone who doesn't think and act(and let's be honest, LOOK) very similarly to them.
It takes an ego bigger than Texas to look at the world that way.
![Wink ;)](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
What kills me is when somebody is labeled either a liberal or a conservative based on their view of one issue. I'm about half and half I guess. I agree with different sides on different issues. I think that's the normal human response, rather than to simply grab a party line and agree with everything because you are "supposed to" if you are a "real liberal/conservative". I've actually known people from both sides who did that and who would say "I don't necessarily agree with this but because I'm a <insert side> I support it". WTF?
Meems doesn't seem like the type of gal who would get upset if a guy opened the door for her or offered her his seat, and I think she indentifies mainly with the liberal side of politics. I mainly do too, but agree with conservatives on some issues. And I'm sure she would open the door for anyone with their hands full, male or female, liberal, conservative, Barak Obama or Phyllis Shafley.
Manners aren't really a liberal vs conservative thing anyway, at least they aren't to me. They should be for everyone, from all political and socioeconomic levels. You say please, you say thank you, guys open doors for ladies, younger people offer older people their seats and say Sir and Maam. It's just manners folks, it doesn't brand you with a label. Well, where I live now, not doing it might brand you with the label of "Didn't get any home training!" but that's about it.
Honestly I don't fall on one side of the liberal/conservative dichotomy, my political activism has been pretty far outside of liberal or conservative beliefs.
I don't see what this has to do with politics either, I'm not sure why it's "liberal" to talk about sexism.
I'm completely comfortable with a man holding open a door for me, but I don't think he should feel obligated to go out of his way for me, and disregard other able-bodied males. What makes me uncomfortable is when a guy won't walk through a door that I'm holding open and tries to maneuver behind me to grab the door and insist I go through first. This indicates to me he sees something wrong with having a door held for him, yet feels obligated to do exactly that for me.
It tells me he sees me as quite different than himself, and I've heard some men admit it's demeaning to have women hold a door or offer to carry things for them.
I give them the benefit of the doubt and refer to it as benevolent sexism, because I think they are doing what they think is right/proper etc. but it still alienates me and others. If I'm having trouble with something and someone helps me, I appreciate that. If I'm in front of you and you rush ahead of me to open a door for me, that's weird, and if you won't go through a door I'm holding, I'm uncomfortable with that. I'm VERY uncomfortable when men become hostile because I keep saying "No, I'm already holding the door, just go" and they act like I'm doing something very wrong or inappropriate.
Manners and politeness are greatly appreciated, selective manners and politeness are symptomatic of a bigger problem I have with society that I like to talk about because awareness of it matters to me. If people don't agree with me, so be it.
However, when it's countered with "Why aren't you tolerating me?" I have to ask myself if this person is even being serious. These discussions aren't oppressing or silencing anyone, to behave as if the mere mention of different views is oppressive to other people's view is a childish way to go about ending these discussions.
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These pretty well sum up what I think.
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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
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If they're doing it for women and not for men, and women aren't doing it for men, then why is ok for everyone to be rude to men?
With all due allowances for individuality, men and women are treated differently because they are different. It is also the case that chivalry can apply to men. Being chivalrous is the essence of the old idea of being a gentleman.
Different to the extent that one sex can't open their own doors and will be terribly upset if people stay seated when they enter the room?
Of course women can open the door for me and should do so when the guy's hands are full. Nobody gets terribly upsetif a guy doesn't stand up when a lady walks into the room. Where did you get that from? Nobody said anything like that at all. I said it was simple manners. You certainly aren't bound by them and are totally free to be as rude as you want. In fact, it's actually much better if people who are so upset over other people's politeness just don't try and pretend to be polite, so the rest of us with manners just won't expect anything out of them in terms of niceness.
It's simply manners, not something to tie your underwear in a knot and pull it up over your head about. If it offends you that much that some people were taught manners, then totally ignore them and refuse to participate in polite society.
You're missing the point. I'm not saying it's not polite to hold the door for people, or that people should just be rude.
What I am saying is that it's polite for ANYONE to hold the door for the people behind them if they get there first, or if the other person gets there first.
Chivalrous behaviour dictates that only men do this for women. This is stupid. Courtesy applies to everyone.
Yes if I were talking about holding the door behind you, it would be stupid to not apply it to everyone, because that does apply. What I am talking about is when a man and woman approach a door and get there at the same time, the man opens the door and holds it for the woman. That is holding a door, not holding it behind you, which is what I'd think pretty much everyone does for everyone else. I'm talking about opening it for someone.
I know of no behavior code that allows you to walk through one of those doors like stores have and not hold it behind you for others who are coming in. I don't think you have a clue as to what exact manners we are talking about here sweetie.
It would also look pretty silly if when I gave a guy a ride in my car I walked around to the passenger side with him and opened the door and shut it after him, wouldn't it? But that is mannerly for a man to do for a woman where I come from. It's just freaking manners.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
![Wink ;-)](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
But WHY does it have to be the man holding the door for the woman? Why make a special point of it?
WHY is it good manners for a man to make a point of opening a woman's car door for her, but silly for a woman to do the same for him?
You can keep repeating "it's just manners", but no matter how many times you do, that won't answer my question.
_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I
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WHY is it good manners for a man to make a point of opening a woman's car door for her, but silly for a woman to do the same for him?
You can keep repeating "it's just manners", but no matter how many times you do, that won't answer my question.
Yes, guys and girls should behave exactly the same!
![Image](http://cl.jroo.me/z3/v/M/z/d/a.aaa-Guys-Imitating-Girls.jpg)
NOT
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
Boo, would you let me hold a door for you?
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Aw
![Embarassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
Sure why not.
*opens door to hell*
LET'S PARTY
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He seems to be pulling the tolerance hypocrisy card, a common trick conservatives like to pull. To a lot of conservatives "tolerance" means moral relativism, which basically means you aren't allowed to have any views contrary to anyone else's views - which in practical terms equates to having no views at all... but the conservative is still allowed to be "right" in his/her views since he/she doesn't need to be "tolerant".
![shaking :shaking:](./images/smilies/icon_shaking.gif)
Due to this conundrum I don't even try to be a "tolerant liberal". Being an "intolerant liberal" is much better.
How is expecting liberal to acknowledge and accept that others think differently than they do hypocrisy? My guess is it's more childish insults. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a chance to explain yourself. But I don't care to exchange silly insults with you.
I will have to give you credit though: At least you admit your intolerance and bigotry toward those who are different.
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Chivalry has nothing to do with thinking women are weak. It's a form of respect to both genders. At the very least, I hold the door open and such for anyone that goes through it at the same time as me. It's like Olive said, it's just good manners. I am surprised that so many people are so devoid of good manners and think it's an insult to do nice things and to have nice things done for them. It boggles the mind.
EDIT: Of course TheLibrarian is gonna act like that. If I got faced with ad hominem attacks, I'd do the same thing. It's no use to reply to that sort of thing directly. It's like trying to stop the Titanic with a BB gun.
Awesome, thank you. Despite the intolerance of liberals, there still are decent people left who are willing to live and let live. I could care less how liberals wish to live their lives; that is up to them. It's a shame liberals can't say the same. Maybe one day liberals will understand what they are doing and dispense with their predatory hate and intolerance toward those who see things differently than they do. But I'm not holding my breath.
Aw
![Embarassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
Sure why not.
*opens door to hell*
LET'S PARTY
I smell BBQ and vodka inside.
YAY! LET'S FEAST!! !
So hell DOES smell like Texas
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That's funny, I always felt it was conservatives who tell everyone else how to behave. They interfere with women's reproductive issues and they are against the legalization of marijuana.
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That's funny, I always felt it was conservatives who tell everyone else how to behave. They interfere with women's reproductive issues and they are against the legalization of marijuana.
Ann, actually what you are describing does exist, but it's not conservatism as much as right-liberalism, which is just as predatory as the leftist variety. I disagree just as adamantly with those who would force, say, school prayer on liberal areas as I do with liberals who force legalized abortion on us down here. Both are wrong, and for the same reason.
The REAL conservative approach is to follow the American constitution. Our constitution specifically left the social issues up to the states and local communities to decide. That's the way it should be, meaning if they want legal assisted suicide and medical marijuana in California, great. And if we want prayer in our schools and no abortion here in Texas, that's likewise our decision.
Tolerance is critically important. One group trying to force their views on other groups is the source of all wars, hatred, and conflict. There is simply no need for it. I cite this as an example:
"So hell DOES smell like Texas"
What is the real purpose of a remark like this?
I also appreciate your good manners and intelligent comments. I hope we can disagree without being disagreeable, which is the essence of true tolerance--i.e., I won't tell the liberals how to live up there if the liberals don't tell us how to live down here.
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