Do people with Asperger's remain virgins for life?

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auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 8:49 pm

I have faith that i'll have a much better time of it in the next life.



RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2017, 8:54 pm

Being a late bloomer isn't easy. People achieved in their teens what I did in my late 20s. In my youth I wasted so much time that could have been spent on my career. I can never get that time back. I'll always be behind in my career. I can never have had my first date at a normal age. I can't do much of anything at a normal age.


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auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 8:56 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Being a late bloomer isn't easy. People achieved in their teens what I did in my late 20s. In my youth I wasted so much time that could have been spent on my career. I can never get that time back. I'll always be behind in my career. I can never have had my first date at a normal age. I can't do much of anything at a normal age.

still, better late than never.



RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2017, 8:59 pm

^^ True. I bet there are early bloomers on WP.


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auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 9:01 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
^^ True. I bet there are early bloomers on WP.

I try to avoid the braggarts.



funeralxempire
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19 Dec 2017, 1:37 am

auntblabby wrote:
the higher functioning aspies here [socially successful and probably also financially successful, those two seem to go in pairs] just don't grok the struggles of those ones of us not similarly gifted. they tend to think "if I can do it, then anybody else who can't just isn't trying hard enough or has a bad attitude" et al. to me, that is the social equivalent of the right-wing "I've got mine, so screw you!" attitude so prevalent in amuuurica now. :|



It isn't 'I've got mine so screw you' to suggest 'just because you can't, doesn't mean none of us ever will'. That's why I haven't offered advice, maybe he really will never get beyond masturbating with plushies, it's not my place to judge, but considering many of us have been successful to varying degrees, sometimes as late bloomers, others maybe with diminishing success as they outgrow their youth; whatever the details might be, we're not all Incels and for those of us who might have the chance at some point, it's a lot less likely if that person is sitting around defeated and moping because they've been convinced they never had a chance. It isn't just about the people participating in the thread, and we don't need the younger posters just giving up needlessly because a few of us are so defeated that they can't imagine anyone on the spectrum having romantic success merely because they haven't.

I feel for those who are defeated, but we're not all defeated so we don't all need to embrace the same defeatist attitude.

I'm not particularly socially successful, I'm certainly not financially successful considering I've basically worked a string of minimum wage or barely above it jobs for my entire adult life. There's more to it than just being socially skilled, attractive or financially secure, since there's people who are entirely without romantic success who are all three and there's people who have been romantically successful, but have had few successes in life beyond romance.

Maybe luck plays a role. I was lucky enough to meet someone who feels like my soulmate (despite me knowing that her, I and every other human lacks a soul).


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22 Dec 2017, 2:25 pm

auntblabby wrote:
silicone Suzy been good to me :bounce:


You do have one other option, which is completely legit from a Darwinian POV.



auntblabby
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22 Dec 2017, 4:05 pm

drwho222 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
silicone Suzy been good to me :bounce:


You do have one other option, which is completely legit from a Darwinian POV.

the suspense is killing me :o WHAT is that OTHER option?



drwho222
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22 Dec 2017, 4:07 pm

auntblabby wrote:
drwho222 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
silicone Suzy been good to me :bounce:


You do have one other option, which is completely legit from a Darwinian POV.

the suspense is killing me :o WHAT is that OTHER option?


Well, the worlds oldest profession, not to make to fine a point.



auntblabby
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22 Dec 2017, 4:28 pm

drwho222 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
drwho222 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
silicone Suzy been good to me :bounce:


You do have one other option, which is completely legit from a Darwinian POV.

the suspense is killing me :o WHAT is that OTHER option?


Well, the worlds oldest profession, not to make to fine a point.

ooookaaaayyyyyy.... lemme tell ya a story.... when I was in the army, me and a barracks-mate, as soon as we were able, made a beeline for 14th street in DC, having heard that was where the action was at. we sat in the car and watched the streetwalkers saunter by under the streetlamps, and they all ignored us like we was invisible, 'cept for one who had an attitude and when she caught me looking in her direction, yelled out "whatcha @#$%ing lookin' at you @#$%ing dweeb!" and slinked away. IOW, snake eyes, zilch action that night, or any other. I couldn't even get any if I paid for it!! ! :oops: silicone suzy is much more willing, and I only hadda pay once for what must by now be thousands of whoopies. :mrgreen:



auntblabby
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22 Dec 2017, 5:39 pm

I get the impression that for the lions' share of sex episodes, potential resultant offspring are an afterthought at best.



Sabreclaw
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22 Dec 2017, 6:38 pm

auntblabby wrote:
I get the impression that for the lions' share of sex episodes, potential resultant offspring are an afterthought at best.


I've got people at work who like to talk about how sex is the best thing ever. They're not doing it to have kids.



auntblabby
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22 Dec 2017, 6:45 pm

there is a general shortage, perennially, of qualified parents.



Dr_Manhattan
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25 Dec 2017, 5:30 pm

I lost my virginity at 17. It is definitely possible. But please, please, PLEEEEEEASE make sure you love her/him and want to spend a long time, if not the rest of your life, with her/him. The girl who I gave my virginity to was more or less just a thing, and I'm filled with regret over that night. I used her for my own gratification and pretended like we were nothing. She(her name is Sierra, btw) was, in hindsight, a spectacular girlfriend. She never judged me, she was always there, she did everything I wanted to do, and I never told her thank you. I wish I could go back and change all that, but I can't, unfortunately. Moral of the story: Try to refrain from sex until you know you will be together forever, or at least a REALLY long time.



Mr_Miner
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25 Dec 2017, 5:37 pm

I'm not a virgin but without the internet it would have been much harder to talk to a women.



funeralxempire
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25 Dec 2017, 5:42 pm

Dr_Manhattan wrote:
I lost my virginity at 17. It is definitely possible. But please, please, PLEEEEEEASE make sure you love her/him and want to spend a long time, if not the rest of your life, with her/him. The girl who I gave my virginity to was more or less just a thing, and I'm filled with regret over that night. I used her for my own gratification and pretended like we were nothing. She(her name is Sierra, btw) was, in hindsight, a spectacular girlfriend. She never judged me, she was always there, she did everything I wanted to do, and I never told her thank you. I wish I could go back and change all that, but I can't, unfortunately. Moral of the story: Try to refrain from sex until you know you will be together forever, or at least a REALLY long time.


Not everyone wants it to be tied to a long-term relationship, but regardless of that side of things both partners should be honest about their terms (so to speak) to reduce the likelihood of awkwardness after the fact.


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"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell