Why is it girls have an easier time getting dates than guys?

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I feel like there are different expectations out of a guy to be considered attractive that put someone on the spectrum at a disadvantage considering our usual deficits in employment and social capital and that's on top of the usual standards of male beauty such as height which is as discriminatory as skin color since you can't change it not matter how much you wish you can. I don't know what league that would put me in; I feel pretty worthless.

Communicating that is likely pretty darn close to fatal for your dating prospects. Not the height/looks/job status* stuff, that . If you dislike yourself enough to be wanna crawl out of your own skin, ugh.

* so not

My husband is only 5'4". I'm 5'2". I see lots of very short statured men in relationships. I see unemployed and broke guys with dates, too. I'm sure there are young women out there interested in you but you unintentionally overlook them. Try finding someone similar to yourself.

This happened to me in high school. I asked a good looking classmate out on a date and got backhanded by her for just that. She was single at the time and I asked her if she would like to go to a movie together. How dare I think that she would consider me date material is what I was told. She then told a few guys about it and I got roughed up quite a bit because of it.

I banned It again.

Seriously, Sly, ignore that c_nt.

She's obviously a very mentally disturbed woman.

Not sure I agree that basically girls can take or leave sex, or at least be satisfied that way....just based on a little personal experience of going very long periods without this activity, and the prospect of attempting to satisfy myself for the rest of my life didn't seem very pleasant.

I'm not sure I've ever seen anything along the lines of practical tips for men to make themselves more attractive. Including ways in which to make it likely that he would be asked out of a date.

They also work poorly for autistic women, who because of their awkwardness and naivetée often only get approached by abusive men who specifically look for vulnerable women to predate on and we match what they are looking for to a 't' because we can't hide our inexperience and awkwardness. Many of us autistic women end up with our only relationships experiences being that of abuse and violence, and also date rape. It is not just hard on autistic men. Which is harder, being lonely or being abused? I think they both suck pretty bad.

Indeed I'm quite worried. I don't seem to know how to talk to women anymore like I use to. While I still feel romantic it's less the. I was and feel like it's slipping a way. I also find myself less caring for others it may be signs of emotionally deadening:( at this rate if I ever get a girlfriend it might be too late. Few years from now I might just be an hollow shell with no romantic feelings at all

I see lots of bitter women on dating sites and other sites too.
I do hope you find someone good and that you don't become bitter.

You know what Sly I've been having a serious think about things today. My health is not good at the moment and I just feel completely worn out and useless. So I was thinking "what can I do to make myself feel better in general". Yes I feel like being rejected so much has made me feel worthless, but those guys don't have a right to make me feel bad about myself. I need to do other things to build my self esteem. Find something I love and work at that.

So I bought myself a canvas today and I'm going to take up painting again. I don't actually know why I stopped painting because I enjoy it and I'm not too bad at it (well, I like my paintings, others may disagree lol). I am definately going to try and exercise more. I like going for walks, but the weather is awful where I am at the moment, so I haven't been getting out and about and I think that has affected my health and general well being. I love being out in the countryside. It's a peaceful contrast to my busy office.

Please think of some things that you want to take up and improve your quality of life. Forget about women for the moment and think about you. Build up your confidence in other areas of your life and that will increase your general well being and confidence in other areas.

Now, it will take time and a bit of effort and it may seem like a huge wall to climb right now, but in a years time we might be having a conversation about how much better we feel.

I did a talking therapy thing years ago and this sounds trite, but the advice I was given was:
"stop ignoring your feelings and start to take action to take care of yourself now."
i.e. do something positive for yourself. Who cares what other people think! Don't let how you have been treated by anyone else change how you enjoy your life.

Have a think about it and you can PM me and let me know if you come up with any ideas on a hobby or activity you think you would like to take up. Or maybe I can offer some ideas.

Hugs

You sound like a typical PUA guru. Just because you aren't consciously aware of signals being transmitted and received doesn't mean they're a myth! A lot of nonverbal communication in humans isn't something we're consciously aware of.

If you make a move and she's not into you, you get RE-JECT-ED. I've heard plenty of NT women complain about unwanted attention from guys who follow this tactic and get branded as "creepy" because the woman isn't into them and they failed to pick up on signals. Taking action means knowing how to read people and make intuitive inferences as to what they respond to. I've tried talking to a ton of girls and suggesting drinks/movies/other 1-on-1 activities and they always found some excuse not to do it. But guess what? I have gotten action! Online dating definitely makes things easier for someone like me and the first gf I met through printed personals but it was in the platonic seeking section.

Guys should actively get out and meet new people, but do not put forth expectations to those you meet. For Aspies, I would recommend focusing on platonic relationships with women but realize that a lot of them will put you in the friend zone but you're still getting practice with social interaction.

I don't have think there are any. There's no single, foolproof way to date or get dates (short of leave the house on a regular basis, deal with hygiene/grooming and make the best of the looks you've got).

FWIW, there are no specific tips for a girl who wants to make herself more attractive in hopes of getting asked out on more dates either.

I agree. Now, I do think social skills matter a lot. I think good social skills can take people very far in life, not just romantically but in the workforce as well. I see it all the time. Having good social skills isn't a fool proof way to get dates but it helps a lot. I've seen unemployed men, broke men, short men, mean "jerks" get dates because they have great social skills and are charming. Same for women. I've seen mean girls, etc. that are always in relationships. Having autism makes it really hard to connect with others. There are so many social cues and subtleties that we miss and it all matters.

She was probably out of your league, but still...that is just wrong. I once got slapped by a good looking girl in high school. We were at our lockers, and a couple of guys next to us were horsing around, and pushed me into her. A little while after that incedent, one of her friends told me she was interested in me...go figure.

I suspect that for most people the only thing their conscious mind gets is the result of a non-verbal dialogue or negotiation. Were this is with someone who cannot do the nonverbal the result is something like 'protocol failure'.


Her assumption may well be that he is deliberately ignoring her.


This makes sense. Since there is no non-verbal involved. Personally I havn't found online dating much help in practice, due to a lack of people whom I would be interested in on most sites along with having to stand out from spammers. (Being young and monogamously oriented might help with the former.)

It's true that girls ask guys out, but it's rare for them to *hit* on a male stranger but never say never I suppose. As far as Tinder is concerned, the fact that so many women are active participants really doesn't mean much for most guys because there are also huge numbers of BOTS(fake female users) that troll guys and then disappear. I've never managed to get any actual dates off of Tinder having been on it since January 2015.