Anything random to say about your crush/love/relationship?

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I hate being bothered with all of this nonsense.
I intended to force myself into heavy work load not to think about anything..but me me me..
Yeah..I failed
but,
I guess or I want to believe that I'm getting better every day.
I wish this chaotic feelings for you be only bubbles that could pop by just a little touch.
I wish you forget me for good cuz I will and I'm that biitch.

You're like a disease.
With supperating sores.
I'm completely infected.
There's no cure for this.

Black ocean, cold and dark
I am the hungry shark, fast and merciless
But the only girl that could talk to him just couldn't swim
Tell me what's worse than this
And it echoes in the halls
They danced along the walls
The memories of your ghost
You are the one that I used to love
And I'm still in love, but I've never loved you the most

I've seen better days
So unafraid in my youth
I can't breathe, much less believe

You're getting everything you had
Every little thing you had
A pure love unrehearsed
I've seen your best and worst
And at your worst, you're still the best
But at my best, I am the worst
It's a curse
Your eyes are lined in pain
Black tears don't hide in rain
And I tied you to the tracks
When I turned around, I heard the sound
I hit the ground, I know there's no turning back

I've seen better days
So unafraid in my youth
I can't breathe, much less believe the truth
Better days, so unafraid in my youth
I can't breathe, much less believe the truth

Black ocean, cold and dark
I am the hungry shark, fast and merciless
But the only girl that could talk to him, she couldn't swim
Tell me what's worse than this
What's worse is all the coke
The ice that numbs my throat if only for the night
My muscles will contract, your bones will crack
It's just a fact cause I am here to win this fight

I can't f*****g breathe, much less believe the truth
I pick up a gun, aim for the sun, and shoot
Better days, so unafraid in my youth
I can't breathe or believe the truth

Your eyes are lined in pain
Black tears don't hide in rain
And I tied you to the tracks
When I turned around, I heard that sound

i know how i am going to get out of having to go.

i will say that i reset my computer clock (the only one i use) a few weeks ago incorrectly by - 1 day
i will say that when i looked at the clock on the 25th, it said december 24th , so i switched off all my phones (hence why she would not be able to call me) because i wanted to rest on the 24th for the 25th when i was eager to be full of energy when i got to her place.

then i may be even able to get a little undeserved sympathy..."so sorry mark you were not able to attend..."
and i will reply with "yes it was a disappointment indeed"

an addendum to my last post is that i can use the same excuse to explain why i forgot her birthday which was december the 4th, but it does not explain i guess why i did not ring her the next day (when my clock said it was her birthday).
maybe i can explain that away by saying that i never trust clocks all the time, and on that day, i was just having a period of doubt about the accuracy of the clock, and it took me 2 days to calm down, and by that time, it was too late to acknowledge her birthday.
that is what i will have to do.

I'm not used to being complimented! I guess I am cute! I'm a cute Skitty!

Freedom
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom, Cut it!
Freedom,
Freedom, follow me
Freedom
Freedom

Let me tell you, I'm vicious
Not pass-aggressive
I got my finger on my pulse, staring straight into a hole and I get it
And I'm a savage
It's automatic
I got a way of making noise, the power to destroy with no static

Cause victory is all you need
So cultivate and plant the seed
Hold your breath and count to ten, just count to ten

I'm gonna make it rain, so ring the bell
I know it all too well
Switchblade on the edge of your wrist
Can I get a witness?
Cause agony brings no reward
For one more hit and one last score
Don't be a casualty, cut the cord

Freedom
Freedom, follow me Cut the cord
Freedom
Freedom

You gotta feel courage
Embrace possession
If it was easier to shatter everything that ever mattered
But it's not, because it's your obsession
Be a fighter, backbone, desire
Complicated and it stings, but we both know what it means
And it's time to get real and inspired

Cause victory is all you need
So cultivate and plant the seed
Hold your breath and count to ten, just count to ten, just count to ten

I'm gonna make it rain, so ring the bell
I know it all too well
Switchblade on the edge of your wrist
Can I get a witness?
Cause agony brings no reward
For one more hit and one last score
Don't be a casualty, cut the cord

Cut it
Cut it

Cause victory is all you need
So cultivate and plant the seed
Hold your breath and count to ten, just count to ten

I'm gonna make it rain, so ring the bell
I know it all too well
Switchblade on the edge of your wrist
Can I get a witness?
Cause agony brings no reward
For one more hit and one last score
Don't be a casualty, cut the cord
Don't be a casualty, cut the cord

An exert from the English translation of FFIX's Melodies of Life:

I was wandering without a destination
I continued to search without any clues
Making the memories you gave to me
Into a song to heal my heart
The days when, without making any promises,
Without exchanging words or consciously deciding,
You embraced me and sought me out;
The you who touches my hand
Within my memories
Can still call
Out my name

What took you so long?

cut the cord of the obsession

Well, I can't say either of us expected *that*...