Lady at work keeps interrogating me 0.o

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Think whatever you like. I was trying to have a friendly discussion with you about things I find interesting. If you insist on seeing me as an enemy, too bad.



I usually avoid talking about more than one thing at a time, because it’s a sure way to muddy the conversation into uselessness. We were talking about your feelings about his erection. You said something about that and I didn’t quite understand it, so I asked you some questions. I thought you were interested in explaining that, and I was interested in reading about it. Now, all of a sudden, you get mad at me for not being talking about something else, and on top of that, you put words in my mouth. I don’t like repeating myself, and I never said “what you feel as a woman isn’t important”. That’s not the kind of conversation I’m interested in.



Too bad. I was trying to enlighten you a little about your attempts to be less sexy at work. I tried to make it easier for you to grasp what that situation feels like as a man. I thought it could be helpful, since you can’t feel that as a woman. If you decide to conclude instead that I’m trolling you, well, too bad.



I’m not sure what you mean by that.



Just because you insist on twisting my words doesn’t mean I said anything other than what I actually said. Goodbye.

You’re incredibly brave. Or maybe you were clueless at the beginning (not as clueless as I’d have been, though), but proved to be incredibly brave in the end anyway.

If people have a way to make you uncomfortable for their mistakes, they’ll often use it. Apparently, there are universal ways for men to make women uncomfortable. I tend to be oblivious to them, because I usually forget life is a game of chess, and also tend to think that the woman’s desirability to me confers her a moral high ground I can’t take away by abusing her.



I wish everyone agreed to make things that easy. I guess most people have such inborn social skills that they get bored if things aren’t made intentionally hard

I think that’d be pretty frustrating to me. Nowadays, I’ve kind of learned to shut up and not ask people why (it wasn’t easy, because I always needed to be ready to explain to my parents, and, by extension, to anyone, why I did or did not do, think or feel anything), but a few years ago, I’d probably make a big nuisance of myself asking you why you don’t want to do something with me that you like too much. Today, I’d still want to know the answer, but I’d silently accept I won’t get it and lose interest in being so close to you.

You know, Second and Third World. Societies in a state closer to the state of nature. Our species’s state of nature isn’t pretty. If you want equality, personal freedom and all those nice and unnatural things, your best bet is to help the whole world develop. Getting angry with those less fortunate than you when it comes to their birth place won’t solve anything.

Other people’s bodies are theirs; your head is yours. The only disrespectful thing here would be for others to try to dictate what you can and what you cannot fantasize about. Don’t let them.

If a woman can’t handle the fact that I’d like to have sex with her, she’s not my friend.

Thanks. I’m curious about that, because I think I’ve always been powerless, for one reason or another, to do anything to experience those parts of life. My parents didn’t take any specific measures to stop me; my social isolation, and probably my unpopularity and my growing immaturity compared with my peers, were enough. That’s why it makes me very anxious that most parents seem to agree that the longer those experiences are put off, the better, unconditionally, and many apparently strive, in fact, to prevent their children from getting the very experiences that helped them mature.



Don’t worry. I think the only intense thing is that I expressed them verbally. People usually freak out when I verbalize things they otherwise deem normal.



Mostly yes. I like women a lot; can you tell? But bear in mind that’s what I want before I know anything about them. If they look mean, I discard those thoughts immediately. Same if I know they’re in a relationship. Same if I actually interact with them in any way and it turns out we don’t get along; etc.

Barring those obstacles, women still look like magical creatures to me, and I don’t see any reason to force myself to see them otherwise.

That’s what I was getting at before. As long as neither of you is in a committed relationship with anyone else, why can’t the terms of the friendship be simply “We do whatever we both want, period”?

Last edited by Spiderpig on 11 Sep 2018, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brevity is dead

Egypt is one of the worst places in the world when it comes to sexual harassment, and their government don't seem to even admit the problem.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/07/ ... 50361.html

She's out now btw.

I don't get the erection in public whole thing, but maybe I am not high in testosterone enough - I thought only young adults have this ability? At my current age I don't get erection unless I am doing something sexual with someone or deeply fantasizing in the right setting, or morning wood - otherwise I don't get aroused just visually ie. by just seeing an attractive girl in public; yes, I will think she is attractive but not to the point of getting an unwanted erection.

I'd like to comment on this, just in case you might get the impression that all men are the way one person represents himself here:

I don't know about "everybody", but yes, men can do that too. Erections, either involuntary or triggered by sexual thoughts go away if you deliberately concentrate your mind on other things. It has nothing to do with age or level or "horniness" - I'm just teaching my teenage son these days how to avoid embarrassing himself at the pool and generally in public. Most men will know what I'm talking about.

Also, men (with some exceptions it seems) don't automatically get erections or slip into detailed sexual fantasies when they hug a female friend, even an attractive one.

While men are sexual beings and can be very visual, we also have self control and the ability to relate and interact with (attractive) women in a non-sexual way. And plenty of us manage to have meaningful friendships or professional relationships with women without lusting over them.

Strawman away

Congratulations. You defeated the Metastrawman.

What do you mean?

It was fairly frustrating but there was a pretty good rationale in my head. I wasn't brave enough to be in a relationship with him. I didn't like myself enough or care well enough for myself back then. I was with someone else instead. Someone I was avoiding by hiding in my best friend's bedroom all night every night. If we would have been together it would have been epic and very tumultuous and I just wasn't ready for that.

Last edited by elsapelsa on 12 Sep 2018, 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.