Didn’t come as a surprise that he was a virgin!

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It wasn't a serious offence.
It was an accumulation of sex talk and sexist rhetoric against men and women in the thread.

Aspie1 asked how or why dating was difficult for women.
I posted a link and some ideas about where to look for women's points of view.

I hope the topic doesn't devolve into "how to please women in bed" instead of addressing women's posts.

Yes, I agree.

I reported some other posts, rather than saying what I really thought about their content.

I'd be banned if I wrote what I really thought, or if I used the memes I wanted to.

I doubt that women’s posts will be satisfactorily addressed because I don’t think it was a genuine question.

This board is problematic. I will try to avoid it in the future. I bet if I leave and come back in 5 years it’ll be the same.

It’s just wasted a huge amount of my time over the time span that I’ve been here because what I say won’t change anything.

People will still be dismissive of any woman’s dating struggles, even if the problems are quite substantial. And female opinions will be disregarded.

My point exactly.

I also want to reiterate these threads are just as sexist against men (virgin men) as they are against women.

I'm sickened by how men are treating each other.

There are many wonderful, caring, inexperienced men on WP.

In my opinion, threads pointing out the perils of virginity are a form of bullying.

I think threads that go into alpha/beta stuff are, too. If people actually listen to those threads, they will think they have no chance whatsoever.

That's the message I hear over and over from other men.
It's a constant game of one-upmanship.

When women post anything intelligent on any topic, we get ignored.
When we rebut stereotypes about our own sexuality, we're corrected.

I feel like no matter what I say on WP, all anyone really talks about is getting laid.





That's when I wanted to hurl.

Yes they should lie to them if they like. They're perfectly entitled to and I recommend it.

It's just comes down to common sense, if you're naked in bed just don't say anything off-putting at the last moment when you're about to be successful.

Nobody has the right to know if someone's had zero sex partners or 1000, even if their partners ask, especially at the last minute when the act is about to take place. I never ask women questions like that unless they just tell me on their own accord or tell me they never had any activity with a guy. It's just not something I think is ever fair to ask and to be honest, asking a partner when your about to have sex is a bit of a jerk move to put it lightly.

I would lie to anyone if I was put on the spot like that.

Honestly, I don’t get it either.

I’ve said something like this before, and I stand by it now. The point I intended to get across is that the idea that women won’t have virgins is absurd. Everyone who has sex has a first time at some point.

Logically, the Catch-22 that men past a certain age cannot have sex if they’re virgins just doesn’t hold up. The assumption is that ALL women expect men to be sexually experienced or they won’t have sex with them. The assumption is false.

If we are to entertain that the assumption is true, and by that I mean that ALL women universally reject older men who are virgins, then it isn’t a matter of whether ethically or morally you should tell the truth about being a virgin. It’s a matter of whether ethically or morally women DESERVE the truth. If we accept the assumption that women universally reject older male virgins, those men have no obligation whatsoever to disclose their virginity.

The solution is so simple and easy and doesn’t require any outright deception: DON’T BRING IT UP. Just don’t volunteer that information. It’s not relevant or important. What IS important is if sex might be harmful to your partner. If you have an incurable disease you could spread to your partner, that’s important info to have.

It’s like getting a job. Job description requires 5 years experience in the field. You just graduated from college. Requiring experience when you can’t get experience is asinine. So what did you DO? You took classes. Internship. Volunteer work. Part time job in high school. So…yeah, of COURSE you have experience. And even experience requirement jobs come with on the job training. Logically, there is no difference here (obviously sex and jobs are different things. It’s the experience issue that is the focus). If employers don’t deserve the truth about prior experience, neither do sexual partners.

She doesn’t like him.
In no way this expression meant to be anything positive.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 Jul 2022, 4:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

I'm grateful for you and Twilightprincess speaking up. I don't have the patience for it.

Ps my post is aimed at some particular members in this thread - not Kraftie!

It requires grilling.

Well as far as the notion goes to not be dishonest, is not saying your a virgin UNLESS YOU ARE ASKED, really dishonest though? Does a person you have sex with have to know everything about you before having sex?

I know not to generalize and say that not all people dislike virgins, but I think there are some that do to take into consideration. I asked my female friend and my gf if they would want to have sex with a virgin, to see what they would say, and they all said no, they would not want to do that. That's just two people but they both said no. So it makes me wonder, that some might have a problem with it, if the first two women I asked both said no.

But if a guy really must announce that he is a virgin, even if he is not asked, it would probably help to at least put a positive spin on it and don't say it in a way that would come off as apologetic. Perhaps say it in a flirtatious way, asking the woman if she into being someone's first sexual experience, but in a flirtatous way.

I highly understand why women feel this way.

Last edited by Cornflake on 08 Jul 2022, 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.: Redacted generalizing and mansplaining

Thanks for looking out for me, Isabella.


That's not true, but by the same token, it's hard to feel desirable when you can't get a partner despite wanting one so intensely and for so long. It becomes harder and harder to imagine a scenario where it finally happens, and the fear that it won't, and that you just aren't adequate can be very overwhelming.



It's not that virgins can't achieve sexual proficiency. It just takes time and practice for people to get better at anything. A lack of sexual opportunities means a lack of opportunities to practice.


This one's just garbage.


Nobody needs to tell strangers, but I think it's probably better to be honest with partners about that. If I withheld that information, I'd feel the pressure of having to appear experienced when I'm not, and I'd be afraid that the person I was with would take the bolt once they inevitably realised I'm not experienced. I'd rather confirm beforehand that they're fine with my lack of experience, because I don't think I'll perform well my first time, and I'd be crushed if the other person walked out on me for that.



Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't. I've had an occasion where a woman (rather inappropriately) straight up asked me if I'm a virgin. There was another occasion where a woman asked me if I had any kids, so that would suggest she thought I seemed normal enough to have a girlfriend.




These ones are nonsense.


I'm not a fan of lying in general. I want to be appreciated for who I am, not play silly games.


If a virgin man wants a girlfriend but is unable to find anyone who will even go on a date with him, he's failed at attracting a partner.

It's hard to feel desirable when you have no one desiring you.


Thanks Isabella. Yeah, it's really awful and unfortunate if I'm being completely honest. My mental health and self-esteem have suffered immensely because of it, and not knowing whether anything is ever going to improve (and having a lot of reasons to feel like it won't) leaves me trapped in an existential pit of despair.

All one can do is hope, but hope dies as time elapses with an absence of progress.

In this case, would a guy's best option be not to announce that he is a virgin, unless asked... don't ask, don't tell?