Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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I understand.

It's a double-eged sword really. Women are expected to show more of an emotional range. However, this comes at the expense of being seen as irrational and overly dramatic.

Whereas men are expected to be more stoic. The downside to this is emotional suppression and a lack of support. A lack of network which leads to a cultural sense of loneliness.

We still have artefacts from eras before us. From times where people would diagnose women with hysteria and view men as 'not real men' for seeking emotional support.

We've moved on from times where marriage was an economic necessity if you wanted to survive comfortably as a woman. It is no longer a need but a want. Not even a want for some, as marriage becomes a less common end goal.

Marriage, relationships, dating - they are spurred out of a desire for connection rather than to prevent wars (such as with tactical marriages in monarchies) or to lower the risk of ending up in poverty.

Instead of competing with other men, realistically men are competing with a woman's solitude.

As a society, we are becoming far more aware of domestic abuse, power dynamics and serial killers.

This has created an understandable caution. Men are bigger and stronger. It's not always easy to tell someone's intent. Sometimes a person can end up to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

However, I will say that this has created a concerning double standard. People tend to underestimate the threat that women can pose. Women kill. They stalk. They drug. They can do some horrendous things. It is worrying when I see headlines that try to paint a female teacher raping a male child as anything but horrifying.

Ultimately, it comes down to the perception that men have motive but women lack agency. Things happen to women, women don't make them happen. Which isn't true, but it's a perception that is routed in history and continues to persist in more subtle ways. We can't seem to shake it. This harms everyone.

It's a tricky subject to bring up as it's sometimes used to talk over the disturbingly high statistics of violence against women by men. That is not my intent.

I likely have more to say on this but I need to rest up for my upcoming interviews. I'll probably return to this thread.

What does accidental harassment look like?

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The mere thought of asking a woman out makes my heart pound a mile a minute, makes me get so choked up I can barely speak, and makes me so shaky I could fall over at any second. Chances are Elliot (because of his social phobia) would have displayed the same characteristics if he asked anyone out.

If a guy is exhibiting the symptoms I described (racing heart, so choked up he can barely speak, so shaky he could fall over at any second), virtually no woman is going to accept his advances, even if she's physically attracted to him.

I'm sorry those things happened. Rest assured though, they aren't just autistic behaviours. I've known lots of NT people male and female who cross the line and get accused of harassment. The good thing is that autistics are likely to be respectful after a warning (imo), whereas the NTs I've known who act that way feel entitled and just won't stop.

Yeah, I agree it's sad. My daughter says that's what life is like for her generation of young women but I have a hard time relating. I just can't bring myself to judge people by their gender.

What someone wears doesn’t usually make much of a difference to me. I don’t find people threatening unless they engage in behavior I find threatening - staring, making unwanted remarks, not taking no for an answer, following me, walking behind me, catcalls, invading my personal space, being touchy feely, etc.

I wear pokomon t-shirts to make myself seem less threatening

What does accidental harassment look like?

Do you even train bro?

I was only speaking about why I personally tend to have more trouble understanding men than women.

I'm sorry those things happened. Rest assured though, they aren't just autistic behaviours. I've known lots of NT people male and female who cross the line and get accused of harassment. The good thing is that autistics are likely to be respectful after a warning (imo), whereas the NTs I've known who act that way feel entitled and just won't stop.

I'm very lucky I never got accused of harassment in the workplace. I asked out a few women & when they told me they were busy I assumed they really were busy & I'd ask again a couple weeks later suggesting a different day. I'm so dense I actually didn't realize that being busy was a common brush-off till after I joined this forum in my mid 20s. Perhaps the women didn't complain to management because they realized I was too awkward to know better