Don't trust ANYTHING women say.

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It's actually the complete opposite. Most women don't want sex, especially if they don't have an emotional connection with their partners.

That's missing what I said.

Either party back back out at any time. Further communications is a good thing. There are, however, certain emotional lines that have been crossed. Backing out from those lines is very likely to cause at least one party some pain.

The following is rhetorical, but try reading it first as if it weren't:

Zee, would you like to sleep with me? I'm thinking we could get together this weekend and have some fun...


That's pretty blatant and direct. If it were intended, I'd clearly be hitting on you. Even if you read it as rhetorical, you still probably experienced some bit of emotional response along the lines of "Why does this creep think I'd want to have sex with him?"

For most people, emotions happen. I understand that some Aspies can choose their emotions, but that is not the norm. What I'm saying is that certain things carry significant emotional implications. Be careful with them. Not like I have in this post.

Confronting people isn't a problem for me. In fact, I get around my anxiety surrounding romantic situations by approaching someone I'm romantically interested in as if I was only approaching a friend. Of course, this leads me to being pushed into the "friend zone" rather quickly... my only hope is that the "friend zone" doesn't have as a solid border as the public lets on...

Ha! I dont believe that for a moment . I have actually met women who really just wanted a fling and nothing further. But I realize there are some conservative types like you who may not want sex right off the bat. Lets face it- love is different than sex.Even women understand this but they are taught otherwise growing up, often by their mothers. The harsh reality is that MOST people, regardless of gender, approach a relationship as a business transaction.This may very be because thats what their taught. I mean, the institution of marriage was created entirely for this purpose! Marriage is a legally binding agreement not to sleep around on each other and for the woman to be guaranteed a stake in the mans money and property. The
real difference between how men and women view sex is that women are no less desiring of it-they just A LOT PICKIER about who they choose to sleep with!

What emotional lines have been crossed? You lost me.





Well, the obvious response to that statement is "talking about sex in a blunt manner is a turn off". But why is this so? Maybe because it activates the logical part of our brain, whereas we prefer our relationships to be based on emotion and instinct. Maybe because focusing on intercourse takes away the mystique of what is a supposedly sacred act. But most likely, IMO, is that most women simply don't enjoy sex for what it is. The enjoyment we would get from sex is the emotional connection, and the physical closeness to your partner, ie, sharing an intimite moment together. And you are referring to these experiences in a trivial and clinical way. Love shouldn't be predictable, in other words.

While it's not direct, I don't think it's dishonest either. There is a huge gulf between sharing an experience with your partner and misleading them. In fact, the very nature of 'misleading' implies that the partner being misled is, well, being led. It should be equal give-and-take; if you don't make it known that a line has been crossed, then it's your own fault, and if you don't contribute anything, then don't expect to get anything in return.




I don't think anyone can choose their emotions, where do you get this from? And as far as 'emotional impulses', I don't see them in your post, and I don't see how you can significantly hurt a person's feelings if you barely know them. I mean, yeah, it sucks if someone jerks you around, but that's a fact of life, and it doesn't only happen in the bedroom. There's nothing you can do about these people except learn how to recognize & avoid them.

Marriage was designed to protect a woman if her husband wanted to strand her with kids. If women were as sex-starved as men I don't think many people would bother getting married.
No, it's not mothers that teach their kids, most women learn themselves through experience.
Women who want flings don't necessarily want sex. Many just want excitement. Also, many young women who are either virgins or have very little experience, still think sex is exciting because they think they're missing something. It's all the hype, but after you sleep with a few guys, you realize that the act of sex itself is hugely overrated. In fact, you won't even climax most of the time, whereas men always do.

No, it doesn't. Well, depends on the girl. But many of us prefer friends-first, and that's one of times where a woman making the first move could actually work. If the guy is her friend, he's not likely to take advantage of her.

Zee, I believe you're mistaken on a couple key points.

It hurts my head to try to model your perspective and worldview. It strikes me as really jaded. It's going to take me a while to respond in detail.

I'm working on it, though.

Ive certainly heard women complain about not being able to get an orgasm from a man. But that doesnt mean that women want sex any less then men do; it simply means they often dont enjoy it-especially when they're not all that experienced.
But what Ive read several times is that a mans sex drive peaks in his late teens whereas a womans sex drive peaks in her mid 30s. But sex certainly DOES seem exciting to (young)men ya know! So Im not the least bit suprised that young women are excited about it too.

No, it doesn't. Well, depends on the girl. But many of us prefer friends-first, and that's one of times where a woman making the first move could actually work. If the guy is her friend, he's not likely to take advantage of her.[/quote]

Well, it's mostly based on my inability to approach a stranger based in a romantic context. In fact, I don't develop attraction to women unless I get to know them first, and generally, my attraction only intensifies, not diminishes, over time... Making the first move isnt as much a problem for me either, so long as I have a good idea of whether or not she'll accept or reject...

What women want is a man who can make her have an orgasm. Part of me really thinks that I should practice f*****g more so that when I have a fulltime gf I will know how to pleasure her.Also, a lot of women here in the US WAIT to get married until they're in their late 20s at the earliest so they have time plenty of time to screw before they have to commit.zee-maybe YOU personally arent all that into sex but that DOESNT MEAN that most women arent. A lot of aspie women seem to have very weak sex drives, some of them have practically nonexistant sex drives. Bipolar women on the other hand seem to have VERY STRONG sex drives and are often promiscuous when they're having a manic episode.I'll give you an inch by saying that womens sex drive is more variable from one individual to another whilst most men generally have a fairly strong sex drive.Also zee, why do you assume that married women generally dont expect/want sex from their husbands?

No, I wouldn't turn her down just because she was after me - in fact the directness and confidence involved in that would be attractive. If she was in love and I wasn't, then I would turn her down as a relationship would be bad for both. I don't know where you get this idea that it's not possible to love someone that doesn't love you back, it happens all the time.



I'm saying that putting the burden of mind-reading on men is unfair, unrealistic and counterproductive (you can't expect trust if you answer straight questions with lies, and communication is a two-way street - if you hide things from them, you can hardly expect them to confide in you, if you are not clear and direct, you will be misunderstood sometimes, and it will be your fault) - this is true for all men, but NT men are better equipped to deal with it. This is common sense, not special treatment. Yes, I would like women to be a bit fairer, and I don't see how that is wrong.
This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, it's more general.




I was presenting an example of a guy wanting to be with a woman he has no chance of getting anywhere with - you have questioned that that would be possible.

No (well, actually, yes), you just have to get off your high horse and stop judging people on your own moral code which isn't necessarily the right one.




Then why are they stopping you from moving forward?



By never loving anyone.



I can't dislike someone I've never met. I suppose I also can't like you by that logic, either - but I disapprove of your attitude towards those around you, and think that it's unhealthy.

I believe everyone has standards and preferences, but that doesn't mean to say they go around advertising them. I noticed what you think you like and what you actually like can be different. So it can take a while to figure out. However the idea of having preferences is from from idealistic. It is absolutely natural.

I think you brought up my age before. We are only 20 months apart and both well into our 20s. That doesn't mean to say one any less mature. You don't know me. That girl is ~ 33, but she is still very naive and immature.

Anyway never mind, I baked you a cake:


You can eat it too

Excuse me. I must scamper back to my infantile life...

Ive never met an aspie women with a poorer understanding of men than zee-I Have to Say .
I guess thats what irritates the s**t out of me about her posts to this thread.

You kow what 0_equals_true, its time to bust the myth that women are more mature than men. The maturity gap between boys and girls reverses itself by the time people reach their mid 20s. There are SO MANY women in their 20s and even early 30s who behave like overgrown teenage girls. (american)Women feel free to be as infantile as the please while men are expected to be mature. This ISNT necessarily a complaint, when women get all cutesy and girly it can be Very entertaining. But honestly I think that women take longer to mature emotionally than men do and in particular-they take longer to figure out what it is that they actually want. When you dont really know what it is that you want, you tend to act on your emotional impulses. Thats why young women tend to be fickle in their behaviour .

I guess you haven't heard about the 'man-child' yet.