Qualities you DON'T want in a guy/girl?

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To pre-emptively rule out an entire class of people is closed-minded and stupid at best. Why single out Muslims and Hindus? I'm an atheist. Should I automatically rule out every Christian and Jew?

Idiocy.

I refuse to date a woman with the following characteristics:

-Bald or has extremely short hair (unless she's a cancer patient undergoing chemo)
-Smoker (I'm asthmatic!)
-Abuses illegal drugs
-Alcoholic
-Extremely obese or overweight
-Dressed up as men all the time
-Hostile, bitter, selfish, and or anti-social
-Uses racial or homosexual slurs
-Uses fake tans and fake boobs, and gets plastic surgery all the time
-Would use me rather than love me and engage in social conversations

Ok right now I am going to have to eat my words.
My parents just got back from the United States and they couldn't believe how many homeless people there were. It's really quite sad that the welfare system over there is so sh*t poor.

I live in the capital of NZ and there is only one homeless guy and he's a novelty because its so unseen over here. People give him ipods and s**t too.

yeah, it is bad in north america. nearly identical per capita rates in the u.s. and canada (u.s. has 10x the canadian population):

US: Annual homeless prevalence was estimated at between 1.58 million (based on October/November four-week count) to 3.49 million (based on February seven day count)

Canada: While counting the homeless is a politically charged and methodologically contentious issue, the federal estimate of the number of homeless people in Canada was 150,000 in 2005, or about 0.5 per cent of the population. Homeless advocates estimated it to be closer to 300,000.

compared with new zealand:

Census statistics indicate that New Zealand does not have a large problem with homelessness. In 1996, around 960 people were classified as being of ‘no fixed abode’, compared with 594 in 1991.

She cannot be any other species than human.

IMO, it depends on how seriously you are dating the person. Casually, religion may not be a big deal. But if you are dating someone seriously--long term--those religious conflicts might end up being a big deal. If both parties are as committed to their beliefs, especially. I've dated pagans and atheists, and in both cases, the relationship failed, somewhat because we could not agree on religion. Because I continually had to defend my beliefs (Christian-Protestant, btw) and the constant Christianity-bashing was too much.

Maybe that was more of a "they didn't respect my belief" issue, but in my experience, tolerance of the big stuff fades pretty quickly. Some stuff you just gotta be on the same page about.

The main reason I would prefer someone with the same spiritual outlook is: the arguments on the subject would be huge. As I'm extremely committed to my beliefs anyone trying to make me look stupid (Athiest) Trying to argue with me (anyone) or anyone trying to convert me will do nothing but piss me off. As for my beliefs, I don't really feel a connection with a person who does not share them. Agnostic is really the only different belief that I would consider a serious long term relationship with.

i disagree. i think in some cases it can still work if you are respectful of each other's beliefs. i married a christian and i am atheist. we have shared many many long intense conversations about our faith/lack-of-faith, and it brought us closer.

I admit I'm rather baffled as to why anybody would completely rule out any group with no provision for a re-think in a special case........but it does rather save time to identify the most unsuitable groups and put them on a low-to-zero priority. If your experience with one or two from a group has been very bad, then you're not being unreasonable to say "I'm not going through that crap again." I used to think that women who only wanted tall, dark, handsome, rich hunks were fascists. But if that's what they truly want, let them get on with it. There are plenty more fish in the sea. The thing about sexual preferences is that they don't have to be politically correct, and I'm very glad they don't have to be. It would be nice if people were more open, but if they aren't, I think that must be respected. It's up to the "unwanted" groups to make a better case for themselves, if they're concerned about being left out, though I can't imagine it bothers many of them. I think they're more concerned about being accepted as friends, workers and citizens than about laying a wider range of totty.

To be honest, I don't have any religion. And if I was to meet you, I wouldn't force my opinions, because...I don't have any. I'd embrace you, and any other christians' beliefs, opinions, and debates. In my eyes, everyone is equal.

And what is the difference between "someone with a job who lives in the adult world" as you put it and "someone with everything going for them"? I'm 30 and I'm still living with my parents because I started earning a salary only recently, since June. This is mostly because I've been studying at university and chose to have a career in academics. Studying for a post graduate degree becomes harder if you decide to have a formal job because you have less time to work on your degree, that's a fact. Even now, I decided to get a job at university so that I can work art time while studying full time for my PhD. Are you telling me that I'm staying with my parents because life is easier that way and I'm just lazy? My parents built a cottage on the property that was initially for me but then they decided not to allow me to stay in it because so they can let it out to a tenant. I've been actually been pretty angry about that because it then leaves me with no independence but everyone I've spoken to about that defends them in saying they need the money.

Tell me something, what do suggest I do? Seeing as I've been living with my parents and would not have had anywhere else to stay, seeing as I actually want independence?

There's a difference between someone that is fully capable and chooses to not work and live at home, and someone who doesn't have any skills that would warrant a job that pays more than minimum wage and doesn't have the skills to survive on their own anyway.

Women don't differentiate the two, which is why when I do get dates, I lie to women and tell them I work at home as an editor and contributor for websites. I'm not going to let my incompetencies prevent me from having female company and getting laid.

A lack of self confdiencs. I have my own personal issues with this. I don't need a girl friend who lacks it as well. I knpw this from experance.

You don't have to be perfect to get a job and live on your own or with flatmates.
Someone with everything going for them is obviously someone perfect.



It differs from case to case. Studying a ph.D certainly doesn't warrant being a loser and I wouldn't count it as "not living in the adult world" as you're too busy with your study to hold down a job, or can't escape the family dynamics.

When it comes down to it its more the family dynamics thing which puts people off. I don't want to date "Someones son who fights with his brothers and sisters in the next room" or "someones son who still lives under mumsy doing all the things, paying the bills, doing the chores, cooking the food so seems about 12" I want to date a man in his own right. Yeah, you can be pedantic and say men who have left home are still somoene son but that is not what I mean.

Someone living at home, doing all their own chores and food etc, paying their way with bills is different. The only thing that would put me off is having sex with the parents in the next room, or having to deal with communicating with the parents.

Basically in many womens eyes, living at home just makes it seem like you can't cope with life. Not saying thats the case, but thats the first impression many women get.

A doctor qualification in the working obviously is a whole different case - as those take several years and you can't expect someone to be out of that as young as normal degrees.

My short list. Any other little things depend on the person.

- religious in any way
- not pleasant to the eye
- politically left (maybe or maybe not, since 99% of women are)

Dishonesty
Drug use - I'll let weed slide, but ONLY if you're a functional stoner. If you smoke more than Dave Chappelle or Cheech and Chong, GTFO
Excessive drinking. There's nothing worse than a girl who is too drunk to stand up.
Either too liberal or too conservative. I like a happy balance of standpoints.
Addicted to Juicy Couture or other designer labels. Granted, I like my expensive stuff but some girls take things like Juicy, Coach, et al a little TOO far. If you can't live without your Couture, do it in moderation or pay your own Nordy's bill.
No "formal" education or you haven't made an effort to improve your life
Confidence issues - granted I have them too
And finally, women who don't respect me for what I am. I have a developmental problem, so I'm not always going to shine socially.