Blog post on the epidemic of forced celibacy in males

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You are wrong but I cannot freely argue my case in this highly censored forum. Anyone who wants to pursue this discussion further can post to the forum in my signature which is uncensored.

That poll was about sympathy, not empathy.
Never-mind all the other logical fallacies that have been pointed out about this statement already, the poll's subject is not even related to empathy in the slightest.

This is the gem I was after.

If you're expecting empathy/sympathy (let alone sex or a relationship)
from people whom you freely admit you HATE and regard as undeserving of rights,
I don't mind saying you have a few screws loose.

I called you "ignorant" because you mock and invalidate pain which you don't understand. What if I laughed in the face of your friend who was raped? You know, the beautiful young person who was devastated by something she didn't deserve. The guys who did it felt no remorse for her at all because, well, she was weaker then they were, and it's kind of the "in" thing for men to do right now. And that makes it right, doesn't it? Let's admit it, it sure is a blast to crush the spirit of a socially inept young man... Oh wait, I meant naive young woman. Almost lost your empathy there for a minute.

And you had to watch her struggle many, many years to get over the traumatizing experience. She attempts suicide a couple times. Iit was difficult for you and your friends to maintain respect for a woman weak enough to do such a thing, but you and your social circle tolerated it.

That'd piss you off pretty good, wouldn't it? I think it would be a Herculean effort for you to NOT hate men if they did something like that to you or someone you cared about. And I understand that.

I'm not irrational, and I'm not a misogynist. But I do hate people who hurt others a lot, and some guy's lives are ruined because they're always rejected for reasons that make no sense to them. Do women spell out what the men are doing wrong in an act of tough love? No: they mock them, seek to destroy their hopes of success, and hold them in total contempt for what amounts to not possessing the peculiar pattern of responses you like, regardless of whether the guy has a good heart on him.

Last edited by Nostromos on 17 Sep 2010, 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

when you say that all women behave in a reprehensible way, that is a judgemental attitude. we don't all behave like that, so painting us all with the same bitter brush is frankly unfair. you can hate those certain people who did something bad to you, but hating all women is a problem.

by the way, being laughed at after rejection is not the same as being laughed at after rape. rejection, no matter how severe, does not cause physical harm or lead to PTSD. so your comparison is not balanced.

...and women get rejected as well, not just men.

---

i didn't realize you had quoted me earlier on, and asked what makes men attractive to me. sorry, i missed it.

i am attracted to men who are:

-self-aware

-selfless (they don't have to give every cent to charity, but i notice if they do nice things for other people with no expectation of return)

-intelligent (not necessarily a genius)

-willing to have long discussions about philosophy, religion, politics, science, psychology, etc.

-respectful (in general, but everyone gets mad once in a while)

-thoughtful (not in the way of giving presents or something. my husband brought home fish&chips for dinner and he thoughtfully bought me gravy even though i didn't ask. i appreciated the thought.)

-competent at something, and confident about that competence (it can be anything from building model trains to playing piano to writing stories to whatever)

-funny, or at least like to laugh

-lastly, he needs to be my friend

there's probably more, but i'm off to bed and it's all could think of, off the top of my head. i couldn't categorize what i like in a man on a physical level, because it is not static or any certain type. i have tended to enjoy body hair, but it is not necessary.

It's a matter of being able to hit a bunch of buttons dynamically and at the right time. Total pain in the ass, not really worth much effort to begin with if that is your goal.

What is it that you think you are missing out on?

You can easily get the best thing that "relationships" offer for a fraction of the price attached to getting "unpaid".

It's not that hard to learn how as soon as I did I never felt more liberated.

No, not all women behave like that. But that set of attitudes shows up in lots of young women, and it makes me sick.

My comparison is extreme, I guess, and thanks for not exploding in a crapstorm for it. But I think it is balanced. I've read many of your posts and you're very intelligent, but you have an extremely annoying incapacity to understand the sheer excruciating frustration and sense of worthlessness a man feels when he "can't get laid" or is "involuntarily celibate" or whatever not for a few weeks, or a few months, but like twenty five years. A great example of this is your dogged insistence on the evil of prostitution, while you fail or refuse to grasp that prostitutes are the only damn way many men can know even a close facsimile of an attractive woman's loving affection.

While you fascinatedly dissect the minutiae of how a couple's sex drives can create conflict or how most of your hookups have been outside the realm of a relationship, there are way too many good-hearted, hard working, non-physically-repulsive men who would give half of their paycheck just to kiss and grope you, and feel wanted by someone who doesn't make them want to vomit. You're basically a fat man preaching the evils of gluttony to a bunch of people dying of starvation.

I'm not comparing rape to rejection, I'm comparing it to the devastation of a lifetime of rejection, something that I daresay must in all fairness be explained to you. I don't know if that offends you, but it's probably true. I'm offended by almost everything that comes out of people's mouths when they talk about the sex and relationships they take so infinitely for granted, but I know it's just how things are.

All that rejection absolutely can and does lead to PTSD, anxiety disorders, depression, suicide, and horrendous crimes. Don't underestimate it just because you haven't experienced it. Admitting this is kind of against the male unspoken code for some reason, but there it is.

Yeah, women get rejected, but the average fat girl gets laid a lot more than me!



I may find that first sentence to be unpleasantly true, but at least I'd know they aren't people I'd enjoy being around.

I'm missing out on having sex with attractive members of the opposite sex like everyone else does, just to know I can. Escorts would be helpful. I also miss that giddy opium-feeling of mutual attraction with a woman who I think is cool, like smart and weird and arty. I just want what I so bitterly missed as a younger adult, and I still think I can get it if I just try hard enough.

Don't worry, I expect nothing but hostility and the vilest behavior from women from feminist countries. That is why my wife is Mexican.

I have to say I am genuinely shocked that anyone would think that not being able to get sex is on a par with being raped.

No one wants us in society so they rage over our existence.

pardon me for interjecting in your discussion, but i couldn't help but notice that there is a cross-purpose between having a good heart, being nice, warm fuzzies and the like, and what the socially darwinistic society we live in demands of its members. as the old saying goes, "what's love got to do with it?"
women, no matter their intent on actually reproducing, nevertheless continue to have darwinian memes chugging away in the dark cobwebby sections of their minds telling them they have to choose the most appropriate genes to match with their own, which means they will more often than not go for tough, socially astute and hunky over all other qualities, IOW they want somebody who can take care of [read: defend them against danger, preferably with some style] themselves and their partner as well, somebody who will not stand out as lacking in any functional capacity. the only way women have to discern these qualities are on external factors- the guy is or is not well-constructed, socially adroit, mentally balanced and intelligent [IOW "with it"], personally effective with an apparently internal locus of control, not unduly swayed by external factors/other people in their mutual environment. the goal is for genetically fit offspring who can take care of themselves equally well and not be a drain for parental resources. for good or ill, a "good heart" cannot be presumed effective against muggers and rapists- badass and streetsmart counts much more here. a woman has a biological clock ticking, again whether or not one actually intends to reproduce, and this ticking clock is always quietly reminding her to find someone suitable to pair genes with, before it's too late. some women lacking grace will respond to this ticking clock with blatant irritation and invective directed at unsuitable men whom they perceive to be wasting their time as they are busy trying to find "the right one."
this is a very cold-blooded reality, but that is just par for the hellworld we live in.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

What a thoroughly disgusting attempt at analogy.

It all makes sense now. Of course you would compare rape and not being able to get sex...


you seem to think men have some "right" to use an (attractive) body to get off,
to the point where you argue for the "right" to rent a woman's body for a few hours
and THEN call the exchange "loving" and "affectionate".


In light of the gross gang rape analogy you tried to make, I've referred this thread for moderation.

Last edited by Bethie on 16 Sep 2010, 12:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I've read the Sodini blog, and while I do not condone Sodini's actions, I can see the idea of how being lonely and forced to be celibate for so long can cause someone to snap. Me, I haven't even had a girlfriend for my entire life (31 years as of next month), and it's a key contributing factor as to why I've been so depressed for my entire adult life.
It's just sad that society expects so much of us men - that we have to be rich and athletic - in order to be able to get a girlfriend, and that when approached by an Aspie geek like myself, most girls would feel repulsed. (I've tried to approach girls in real life with my feelings for them - it just doesn't work for me )

Guess the old saying still remains true after all: 'Nice guys finish last'...

Tim (aka the Slipperman)

Can't you guys just stick with online porn?!