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How on Earth do you approach & talk to women?

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rabbittss
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10 May 2012, 9:29 pm

Kurgan wrote:

Most men have few interests in common with their significant others, apart from a few key interests. Very few women are interested in soccer, cars, muscle building or video games, but most men are interested in one of these examples.



I'm interested in none of those things particularly. Unfortunately starting a conversation with 'So did you read the paper that sought to prove Alfred the Great had Chrons Disease?' isn't anymore effective typically.. Though I'm not sure if it's the fact that it's historical, or about chrons disease which turns them off the topic?

My point being, just because it is important to YOU, doesn't mean it's important to anyone else.. the trick is to find some one else who it is important to..



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10 May 2012, 9:34 pm

Delphiki wrote:
I would say that if someone is wearing a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage it would be distracting. I would probably look more even though it is not my intention. It is actually quite bothersome when people have a really low cut shirt

Hipster dudes in deep V's make is hard for me to talk to them and maintain eye-contact because I also have to suppress the urge to smack him.
Sometimes I get distracted by my own cleavage :oops: , talk about bothersome


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rabbittss
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10 May 2012, 9:38 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Delphiki wrote:
I would say that if someone is wearing a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage it would be distracting. I would probably look more even though it is not my intention. It is actually quite bothersome when people have a really low cut shirt

Hipster dudes in deep V's make is hard for me to talk to them and maintain eye-contact because I also have to suppress the urge to smack him.
Sometimes I get distracted by my own cleavage :oops: , talk about bothersome


I get distracted by mirrors, easily.


Anything V neck should be destroyed.. unless it's a sweater vest and you are wearing it over a shirt and tie..



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10 May 2012, 9:45 pm

rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Delphiki wrote:
I would say that if someone is wearing a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage it would be distracting. I would probably look more even though it is not my intention. It is actually quite bothersome when people have a really low cut shirt

Hipster dudes in deep V's make is hard for me to talk to them and maintain eye-contact because I also have to suppress the urge to smack him.
Sometimes I get distracted by my own cleavage :oops: , talk about bothersome


I get distracted by mirrors, easily.


Anything V neck should be destroyed.. unless it's a sweater vest and you are wearing it over a shirt and tie..


I agree for menswear, but I'd be loathe to give them up. They elongate your neck, are slimming, and show off less boobage than a scoop or square neck equally low cut.


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rabbittss
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10 May 2012, 9:56 pm

pants which require cornstarch to put on should also be destroyed.



Ancalagon
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10 May 2012, 10:49 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
Butts do have the advantage of not being located in front, directly beneath the face in the same distracting way that boobs are.

You're gonna have to get over that.

Get over what?


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DogsWithoutHorses
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10 May 2012, 10:54 pm

Ancalagon wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
Butts do have the advantage of not being located in front, directly beneath the face in the same distracting way that boobs are.

You're gonna have to get over that.

Get over what?

"getting distracted" or whatever


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GoatOnFire
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10 May 2012, 10:56 pm

 

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
I understand what you were saying. I disagreed.
I don't agree that it's harder for an autistic man to talk to a woman then it is for an autistic woman to talk to a man because of "anatomy"

Get a sex change operation and try it. :P

Vigilans wrote:
Approach, one step at a time (left, right, left, right, etc); when close, stop. Say hello

I've actually tried that before, and the results were rather bad. Body language is important. I'm not the kind of as*hole who just says I have AS because it's trendy or I'm nerdy and want to feel special. I'm the kind of as*hole with enough body language issues to even f**k that up.

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Vigilans wrote:
Approach, one step at a time (left, right, left, right, etc); when close, stop. Say hello


If only it were that easy, apparently our boobs make it super difficult.

That's taking it out of context. I never said the boobs alone make it super difficult. They only make a moderate difference. 70 ≠ 65 even if they're fairly close together. But it's still a difference so it would be untrue to say that men and women are exactly the same. I only focused on that example because it is the most hilarious example.

Womens' heightened sensitivity to body language and nonverbal communication are actually bigger factors, though admittedly less aesthetically pleasing factors. Also being more leery of men because of the possibility of rape, which I'm not saying is unjustified, hell, the way I heard guys talk about women when I was in college I'd say it's fully justified, but it still makes it harder.


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10 May 2012, 11:15 pm

i have never heard that women have a heightened sensitivity to body language. do you have a source for that idea?

boobs are no more distracting than.... a man's height difference would be.


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10 May 2012, 11:35 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Ancalagon wrote:
Get over what?

"getting distracted" or whatever

The bits that distract me most are ones that aren't right next to the face. The "my eyes are up here" thing isn't really a problem for me.


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10 May 2012, 11:59 pm

Delphiki wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:


rabbittss wrote:
I would hazard a guess that you speak to them as you would any other person of either gender?


You'd think that would be the case. Apparently women are more challenging for a variety of reasons including we don't know enough about motor oil, don't body build, & have breasts.



Breasts, while nice, aren't as fascinating as faces. I don't always understand what the facial quirks mean, but it doesn't make them any less interesting to watch..

I would say that if someone is wearing a shirt that shows a lot of cleavage it would be distracting. I would probably look more even though it is not my intention. It is actually quite bothersome when people have a really low cut shirt
Perhaps a woman shouldn't be offended in that case .Why wear a low cut shirt and then be suprised that men are going to look?



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11 May 2012, 12:01 am

i don't think women are surprised when men look, but they may be offended. i worked with a woman who had such expansive cleavage that any shirt appeared low-cut. turtlenecks are not practical in the summer.


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11 May 2012, 12:18 am

hyperlexian wrote:
i don't think women are surprised when men look, but they may be offended. i worked with a woman who had such expansive cleavage that any shirt appeared low-cut. turtlenecks are not practical in the summer.


True, but let's be honest here, most of the time low cut shirts are worn to expose the cleavage. They are designed with the specific purpose of drawing attention to that part of the body, and it is unreasonable to be offended when it works. There are other options.


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hyperlexian
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11 May 2012, 12:21 am

mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't think women are surprised when men look, but they may be offended. i worked with a woman who had such expansive cleavage that any shirt appeared low-cut. turtlenecks are not practical in the summer.


True, but let's be honest here, most of the time low cut shirts are worn to expose the cleavage. They are designed with the specific purpose of drawing attention to that part of the body, and it is unreasonable to be offended when it works. There are other options.

it depends. i think most women are aware of the effect their cleavage has, but most men don't stare outright. so if a man does stare like that, it is noticeable.


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11 May 2012, 12:24 am

hyperlexian wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't think women are surprised when men look, but they may be offended. i worked with a woman who had such expansive cleavage that any shirt appeared low-cut. turtlenecks are not practical in the summer.


True, but let's be honest here, most of the time low cut shirts are worn to expose the cleavage. They are designed with the specific purpose of drawing attention to that part of the body, and it is unreasonable to be offended when it works. There are other options.

it depends. i think most women are aware of the effect their cleavage has, but most men don't stare outright. so if a man does stare like that, it is noticeable.


If a women wants to wear something to try to appear sexually attract to people around her then she should wear something tight to reveal her figure. Not something revealing. That makes me sound like a prude, but I am just going by that the main reason I would be looking at her is that she is being distracting to me.


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11 May 2012, 12:28 am

mds_02 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i don't think women are surprised when men look, but they may be offended. i worked with a woman who had such expansive cleavage that any shirt appeared low-cut. turtlenecks are not practical in the summer.


True, but let's be honest here, most of the time low cut shirts are worn to expose the cleavage. They are designed with the specific purpose of drawing attention to that part of the body, and it is unreasonable to be offended when it works. There are other options.


Eh, I tend to think I should be able to what makes me happy. I like the way my boobs look in some tops, I also like the way my arms look in a tank top but nobody claims I'm asking for men to stare at my arms when I expose them. Some people have boobs and don't like dressing in clothes (that often uncomfortably) hide/ignore their existence all the time.
I like boobs as much as the next guy but I know other women aren't getting dressed in the morning with my eyeballs in mind.
It's always reasonable to object to attention that is making you uncomfortable.


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