How can you get a girlfriend if you have aspergers syndrome?

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That's unfortunate how someone would only like an aspie because of their appearance, status, or wealth. I myself do not select a partner based off of any of those conditions. How they act, their character, and the way they treat others, plays a more significant role in how I base my attraction to like someone.

hardest part is how to be confident and have high self-esteem if you have never had a girlfriend before, because guys who have had girlfriends, its easy for them to be confident and have high self-esteem because they have experience to fall back on to make themselves feel better

I'm not sure experience really helps like that, at least not as something to "fall back" on. The past is the past, and no amount of experience makes you any less alone after a breakup.

I never handled breakups well when I was younger, and my desperation to hold on to a relationship actually led to two of the most horrible experiences in my dating life. What helped was coming out of those two breakups and revaluating women and relationships. I don't mean thinking less of women as people, but just getting a more reasonable perspective of how to prioritize casual dating relationships and romantic LTRs. I started to see some women as being a little bit more like myself, not exactly in need of a relationship, but in need of a break from drama. That put us in a place of rest and healing, and the short NSA flings were a nice change. Experience only shows that things do get better.

Also, without experience, you're in a Catch-22. What you have to be careful about is not getting too terribly attached to first dates and gfs. Don't assume you'll get a second date after your first. Don't assume the first girl you go on 4-8 dates with will be your gf. And don't assume your first gf will stay with you very long. Once you go through your first breakup, expect a mixed bag of casual dates and serious relationships. You'll know you've found "the one" because she's the one you can't run off. She knows how you act when you think nobody's looking and she doesn't care. She thinks you fart glitter. And neither of you really like anyone else, so why not? Anyway, without experience it's going to be really rough. But that's the only way you get experience. Don't let lack of experience get you down. Pay your dues and you'll enjoy the fruits of your labor soon enough.

ya i bet you had your first girlfriend in either your teens or early 20's, ya thats been a problem for me over the years, often times when i get a date with a girl i don't end up getting a second date, ya how do you avoid getting too terribly attached to the first dates and gf's?

At least you get first dates. I can't even get first dates. It feels like rocket science would be easier than attempting to get a date.

how can find a girlfriend if i have aspergers syndrome is by keeping it hidden from her

I would just have a friend set me up.

Why should someone be "almost ashamed of having a relationship with a person with Aspergers"? People's lifestyles vary and some are able to accommodate to others more easily. I've known people with Aspergers who have partners and even I have been in relationships with some. I've never felt ashamed of having such relationships because I understand that people have different needs. Besides, why would someone feel ashamed of their partner in the first place?

Be yourself, with all you quirks and habits. Girls like it when guys don't put on an act. But be aware of boundaries like personal space (bubble), etc. Be ready to listen and don't take over a conversation. A good habit is to wait five seconds after saying a point to see if the person is still interested or wants to add something. Be willing to take control of a situation. As much as we might protest, girls like it when our men make decisions like where to go for lunch or stuff. The biggest thing, however, is to want to get to know the girl as a friend as well as a potential mate. It's literally in the words: boyFRIEND and girlFRIEND.