The UCSB shooter--an Aspie with a rant against women

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^ true. I'd sooner kill myself then hurt another person unless of course they attack me. I try to avoid killing any living creature.

I'm sorry about that, too, AspieOtaku. That's just awful.

I should clarify something, too. (And am going to go wildly off-topic to do it.) My feminism actually has very little to do with having been raped. I mean I remember it all quite well, and it put me in a bad space for a few days, but this was back before people talked much about rape, and it was quite a long time before I even understood that I had been raped. (I think this is still common, unfortunately, but I'll come back to that.) I suspect actually that the focus on rape has a good deal to do with a crazy-sexist view of what's valuable about women: our vaginas. Violate the vagina, that's the biggest crime.

But -- nuts as it may sound -- I'm actually more than a vagina, and what made me start paying attention to sexism and feminism was being visibly pregnant, and then spending about five years being, visibly, a mother. After having spent a couple of decades being taken seriously for who I am, and for the work I did -- and getting paid, in spendable money, for working. Overnight, though, I turned into a nonentity that was expected to have dust bunnies for brains and be delighted to take a whopping hit to earning power, while working very hard almost around the clock. At work for which there's very little respect. (Taking care of fragile little people is often very dull work, but it's also hard work, and it's extremely important, but there's almost no respect for it -- on the contrary, small children are regarded as a nuisance in the important-work world, and those who show up there with small children aren't viewed as doing anything serious.) People would try to have these inane conversations with me about, I don't know, nursery decorations, clerks would ignore me, and I found it extremely difficult to find mothers' groups that presumed the mothers actually had lives, thoughts, etc. beyond motherhood. The pressure to be a beaming empty-headed love-vessel who never thinks of, say, her own retirement account is intense -- even I felt it, and felt it hard.

So that's when I started reading, and looking around, and holy s**t, to this day, what the everloving f**k, when it comes to how women get boxed in, blamed, robbed, you name it. I think the kicker came when I started working at a women's center, and right away I started doing all the usual things a working mother does: it's a game called Hide the Fact That You're a Mother. It's a huge amount of work, and it's driven by the fear that if your employer thinks you're unreliable because one of those softheaded woman-mother creatures, you'll get canned, never get promoted, be a bad worker, etc. So you spend a crazy amount of time organizing things so that you can be in two places almost at once, you're forever tucking your kid(s) into corners and pretending your life isn't a disorganized, sleepless hell so that you can sound prepared and sane during your phone conferences. Like I said, I got down to business with this -- and then got stopped. Because the people at the women's center made it very plain that:

- I was important
- my work for them was important and valued
- my work as a mother was important and valued
- I deserved and was receiving respect
- there was no need to hide the fact that I had a child
- things would move at a sane pace that took into account the fact that I was doing the important work of being mother to a young child
- and I would not have to negotiate for any of this: I could take it for granted. Not out of pity or grudgingly, but because my work and I were both respected.

And...I can't describe the spa-like feeling that it was. I remember thinking, "This must be what it's like to be a man." It was incredible. Of course, it was also very local. When I went through divorce, I found once again that women are expected to be need-free alms-seekers who want nothing in life but their children's happiness and a basket of clean laundry. Showing up in court with a career is still a risky thing to do, if you're a divorcing woman. I also found that while it's normal for dudes to wander away from their kids, and indeed if they do their ex-wives will still often be blamed for it, if you're a mother without custody of your children, you pay a very heavy social price. You're also expected to maintain the kids' relationship with the dad, even if he's kind of an awful guy. I've seen appellate cases where the judges waved away the fact that the guy had been physically abusive, even one where the guy aimed a shotgun at the mom. A momentary indiscretion -- she was still ordered to maintain the relationship and send the kids off unsupervised with the dad.

So -- while being raped was no basket of flowers, it's the pervasive disrespect, of me and of other women, that keeps me so committed to these conversations. That disrespect is expensive, it's dangerous, it grinds women down, and I see no good reason for it.

Just to answer the question of had that killer ever posted here, I can not say with any certainty, but odds are no, most people here wouldn't put up with his apparent abusive tenancies and hatefulness toward women. people would have noticed and spotted that right off here, esp the women and the moderators.


What I don't like is anymore its becoming commonplace to say anyone who murders is an autistic and an aspie. makes me concerned of future mistreatment of my son and me and others like us because of those labels. its starting to make me wish we were never tested/labeled. as far as I am concerned and by what I have seen, yes autistics can get vary socially frustrated, but for the most part were vary peaceful, if anything were more prone to being abused then to be the abusers.

Take me for instance, I was bullied from first grade to last, in my travels more then once I got beat up by police who simply didn't want me passing through their counties as a transient, and I even been raped once by a gay cop. it would be horrible to be labeled as potentially abusive and violent just because of being autistic, esp when I am a total pacifist and have more then once been the victim of others hate and violence, a target simply because of being different and autistic. right now I am trying to get on disability simply because I am afraid of people and want hardly much to do with them past the Internet.

oh and it turns out the shooter was the son of a hollywood director that hates guns.

^^ Im done talking about rape lets get back to the main topic of the psychotic killer.

From the articles and analysises I read on this case, along with people's comments, no one is really saying he did that because of his AS, but that such bitter and hate talk is common on the internet.
There's no anti AS agenda.

I want pizza.

^