Do the majority of guys with A.S. never get a girlfriend?

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Well you are saying you are not a handsome guy, Sly, how do you know you're not a handsome guy? Did someone tell you that you were not? See this negative self image portrays in your inner confidence and the image you project to the world...

Note to sly, even though my opinion has been declared irrelevant: I got along with my BF WAAAY before I knew what he looked like and had already developed a great friendship [see: established compatibility] before we physically met. I don't think he is traditionally "handsome" but I am deeply attracted to him. Point two: I have never ever gone to a bar, party or anything like that to meet anyone of the opposite sex and it's usually sucked on the rare occasion that a guy has tried to use that opportunity to express that kind of interest. I'm there to find a corner with a couple people and be silly, not be intruded upon.

Also what Boo says about not hitting on every person out there, but investing energy only in those that might be compatible is worthy of thinking about. [If I got that right, that is]

Whether you are objectively handsome or not, always go through life with your head held up high, pretending that you are. Even if people have told you you look like s**t in the past, ignore all they said. Force yourself to look at your own face in the mirror, and tell yourself you are a handsome Motherf***er and any girl (or guy, I don't discriminate) would be lucky to have you. This is the only way to do stuff.

As far as AS and dating in general goes? I have never heard AS causes one to be less authentic, less charming or less funny. And those are attractive traits in any person. I am not the handsomest man in the world though I would love to be, but I am not bad looking either. I am tall-ish and well built, and I can make a joke easily to make someone laugh and break the ice so to speak. As a result I never had trouble making people like me... the problem was always with deeper bonds, with real friendship or lasting relationships. I've had flings, I got around, but nothing ever came of it until about a year ago when I met my now-fiancée.

We have to not forget that not all people on the spectrum are identical. Because one guy stays single for too long doesn't mean others will. There are probably thousands of people who are somewhere on the spectrum but who camouflage so well, adapt so well to their surroundings, that you'd never in a million years guess they are "one of us". Hell, maybe they weren't even diagnosed? Lots of women, I hear, are only diagnosed later in life. And plenty of men too. It happens fairly regularly that a child is diagnosed with AS and the parents are asked if they have some of the traits associated with it as well. And it turns out the father or mother (or even both!) actually has it.

Having Asperger's isn't a death sentence to your love life, that's the biggest BS I've ever heard. It can be a complicating factor, certainly, but so can being morbidly obese or having burn wounds, or being cripple or blind or deaf or what-have-you. And still the most unusual of couples exist, of outgoing men and silent women, of tall women and short men, of fat women with skinny men, of older women and younger men or vice versa... there are so many couples that seem 'mismatched' outwardly, so many people that you would never guess could get a date in a million years, and yet they all get around one way or another. Nobody is incapable of being loved, or loving someone else.

cause and effect. while you might assume the wrong. cause:me thinking i'm urgly, effect put off to women.

the reality is cause: 98% of women I've met have told me i'm ugly/unattractive. effect: I accept the reality that i'm ugly and feel bad.

now have I ever thought I was handsome or good looking no. I use to think I was neither at some point. but 10+ years of being told you're ugly gets to one.

the question how does one change the ideal without experiencing positive experiences.

lets examine the the 2%. most are family/friends. they are in most cases required by family social values to say one is good looking even if they are not. to make them feel better. realty is that family wouldn't tell if a person is attractive as that would be incest which most don't do. so it not like they saying it is likely true. and if so impossible to know cause if they were lying to make you feel better the last thing they would do is tell you so.

the rest , a woman I knew online and never met could have all been a lie including her identity.
a woman I met on okc, who later confessed to compulsive lying.
so neither are trust worthy then add the 98% that say the other. so I have yet had a completely trustworthy woman say I am good looking and mean it and stick around. I somewhat acknowledge the possibility that some woman out there might legit find me attractive, but the matter is how to find her if ever I will.

mean while I accept that I simply do not meet the ideal facial attractive traits to be considered handsome by the majority of society.

cause and effect. while you might assume the wrong. cause:me thinking i'm urgly, effect put off to women.

the reality is cause: 98% of women I've met have told me i'm ugly/unattractive. effect: I accept the reality that i'm ugly and feel bad.

now have I ever thought I was handsome or good looking no. I use to think I was neither at some point. but 10+ years of being told you're ugly gets to one.

the question how does one change the ideal without experiencing positive experiences.

lets examine the the 2%. most are family/friends. they are in most cases required by family social values to say one is good looking even if they are not. to make them feel better. realty is that family wouldn't tell if a person is attractive as that would be incest which most don't do. so it not like they saying it is likely true. and if so impossible to know cause if they were lying to make you feel better the last thing they would do is tell you so.

the rest , a woman I knew online and never met could have all been a lie including her identity.
a woman I met on okc, who later confessed to compulsive lying.
so neither are trust worthy then add the 98% that say the other. so I have yet had a completely trustworthy woman say I am good looking and mean it and stick around. I somewhat acknowledge the possibility that some woman out there might legit find me attractive, but the matter is how to find her if ever I will.

mean while I accept that I simply do not meet the ideal facial attractive traits to be considered handsome by the majority of society.

There's a HUGE difference between:
1) not being movie-star/conventionally handsome
2) being so very ugly that folks cross the street to avoid looking at your face
3) falling someplace in between those two "poles" of attractiveness and making the best of what you've got.

A good 90% of the population falls under #3.

If you do to believe me, a fun little exercise is to get a copy of your local paper - specifically, the weddings/engagement announcements page. Do all those folks look like movie stars? Are they all billionaires who attract pretty women with their $$, which is enough to offset the fact that he looks like the elephant man? Or are there a lot of people who look like, well, the folks in your town/city??

Maybe because you projected that image on to yourself, it projected on others and subconsciously they views you as negative. Do you see every woman dating male models with perfect faces because I don't? There are many types of guys who have partners and the key is self belief. Looks can help you when you are disadvantaged socially but they aren't everything,you need to realize that and work on attributes that bring out the better character in you...

You need to find better quality women as well, where are you meeting these liars?

yep everything is my fault, no way it could be others when in doubt blame the guy with the problem. funny how this is seen as bad with just about anything else. but if a woman says a guy is ugly it must be his fault even if he thought he was really good looking.

how would a person non verbally communicate that they think they are ugly ?

I don't look at celebs or models . however I've couple I've seen the woman is super good looking (note that I find most women beautiful.)

I have good character which is useless when all the woman goes off is your picture of your face. she isn't spending an hour with you, seeing your character or personality. she looks at your picture, and decides pass or date. people who actaully take the time to see me tend to enjoy my company.

met one on a game, I don't know if she was lying or not or if she is a she or not. very secretive.
the other I met on okc.

my only real hope right now is this lady my sister knows, but shes avagerage body(I think thin) and gorgeous. so out of my league like all the women i see online. she's also hard to get a hold of, in the 2 months my since my sister mentioned her, she got another bf and they broke up. shes my type though, nice, caring, nerdy, playful personality.

I'm sure that you are not an ugly person, maybe you just need to keep working on losing weight and find a stylist, someone that can find clothing and hairstyles that put you in the best light. Go to a photographer and pay them to teach you the right posture so you can capture the photo and project a better feeling in your photos.

Maybe you could project a more positive image on your photos? Perhaps images of doing something you enjoy and show the qualities you want to attract in a partner. You want to convey that you are an interesting and positive person to be around. Maybe you should skip online dating and join some local classes or clubs? Online dating is more about presentation, I had many dates from it but that was partly down to the right images and humour that I portrayed.

Have you ever looked up examples of profiles? Start looking them up, attempt different photo and profile combinations and see what different types of women respond to each one.

There's a HUGE difference between:
1) not being movie-star/conventionally handsome
2) being so very ugly that folks cross the street to avoid looking at your face
3) falling someplace in between those two "poles" of attractiveness and making the best of what you've got.

A good 90% of the population falls under #3.

If you do to believe me, a fun little exercise is to get a copy of your local paper - specifically, the weddings/engagement announcements page. Do all those folks look like movie stars? Are they all billionaires who attract pretty women with their $$, which is enough to offset the fact that he looks like the elephant man? Or are there a lot of people who look like, well, the folks in your town/city??

Believe me sly I'm in the same boat. I get it. A female friend of mine did say I was cute today but it's obvious that it's a pity trip. She's trying to cheer me up because a girl I like rejected me recently and I've been cutting myself over it. I'm great at being friends, but anything past that and the game of life switches to Expert Mode. I feel like my tombstone is going to have "Just a Friend" under it.