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Why is Asperger's unattractive?

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AusWolf
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10 Apr 2015, 10:42 am

Gauldoth wrote:
Also if by "socially awkward and different" you mean someone like Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Yeah, well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but men like that just don't exist in the real world.


That is not true. I have only watched a few episodes of Criminal Minds, but I can surely relate to Reid's character. Other TV show characters I feel being similar to are Spock (except for the "needs of the many" thing) or Cpt. Picard from Star Trek, and I also like House a lot. If I were a woman, I'd imagine myself as Dr Brennan from Bones.

Of course, these are typified characters, but the idea behind their traits does come from somewhere. People with these special traits cannot be found easily, this is true.

kraftiekortie: I agree.



Last edited by AusWolf on 10 Apr 2015, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 10:44 am

I'm sorry, I'm just tired of all these women claiming that being Aspies is as big a handicap for them as it is for men. It's not, it's just not. Stop pretending it is because it's not.

AusWolf wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
Also if by "socially awkward and different" you mean someone like Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Yeah, well, I'm sorry to break it to you, but men like that just don't exist in the real world.


That is not true. I have only watched a few episodes of Criminal Minds, but I can surely relate to Reid's character. Other TV show characters I feel being similar to are Spock (except for the "needs of the many" thing) or Cpt. Picard from Star Trek, and I also like House a lot. If I were a woman, I'd imagine myself as Dr Brennan from Bones.

Of course, these are typified characters, but the idea behind their traits does come from somewhere. People with these special traits cannot be found easily, this is true.

kraftiekortie: I agree.


You miss the point. What I meant was this: there are men who act like Spencer Reid, and men who look like Spencer Reid. But no men who look and act like Spencer Reid.



Last edited by Gauldoth on 10 Apr 2015, 10:52 am, edited 2 times in total.

AusWolf
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10 Apr 2015, 10:48 am

Gauldoth wrote:
I'm sorry, I'm just tired of all these women claiming that being Aspies is as big a handicap for them as it is for men. It's not, it's just not. Stop pretending it is because it's not.


Probably, but I think there is no point in arguing about how big a handicap is. It is harder for some than for others, but it isn't easy for any of us.

Gauldoth wrote:
You miss the point. What I meant was this: there are men who act like Spencer Reid, and men who look like Spencer Reid. But no men who look and act like Spencer Reid.


You're right on this one, but I think goofygoobers was only discussing the acting part, not the looks.



Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 11:07 am

AusWolf wrote:
You're right on this one, but I think goofygoobers was only discussing the acting part, not the looks.


I don't think so, you know why? Because I know a lot of guys who ACT like Spencer Reid, but of course, most of them are overweight, bespectacled nerds who may or may not also be Aspies and their dating prospects are as miserable as you would expect them to be.



Lazar_Kaganovich
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10 Apr 2015, 12:01 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
I'm sorry, I'm just tired of all these women claiming that being Aspies is as big a handicap for them as it is for men. It's not, it's just not. Stop pretending it is because it's not.




Ahhhhh.....everyone thinks their burden is the heaviest. Stop playing victim Olympics, people!

Asperger syndrome *is* as much of a hardship for women as it is for men, albeit in different ways. The best analogy I can think of is vectors in the Real plane(R2) that have the same magnitude but point in different directions.



androbot01
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10 Apr 2015, 12:23 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
She asked to talk to me after the rest of the group had left, and we got into a bit of an argument, she said she was doing her best and trying to help us, I told her that was all fine and dandy, but that she and her colleagues just didn't have the expertise or the know-how to help us, and that their advice would end up doing more harm than good... and it kinda escalated from there.

Out of curiosity, what did you expect from the supervisors? They weren't there to set you up on a date - it sounds like it was a casual social. Just because you want to hook up with someone, doesn't mean the counsellors are supposed to find someone for you.

Also, the possibility that autistic females generally have it better than autistic men is a fairly useless statement. Some do some don't. But it sounds like you are in some sort of competition with women. I don't understand why.



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10 Apr 2015, 12:34 pm

Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
I'm sorry, I'm just tired of all these women claiming that being Aspies is as big a handicap for them as it is for men. It's not, it's just not. Stop pretending it is because it's not.




Ahhhhh.....everyone thinks their burden is the heaviest. Stop playing victim Olympics, people!

Asperger syndrome *is* as much of a hardship for women as it is for men, albeit in different ways. The best analogy I can think of is vectors in the Real plane(R2) that have the same magnitude but point in different directions.


No, it isn't. I don't care who says it or how many times they say it. And I'll never say it, because it's not true.

androbot01 wrote:
Out of curiosity, what did you expect from the supervisors? They weren't there to set you up on a date - it sounds like it was a casual social. Just because you want to hook up with someone, doesn't mean the counsellors are supposed to find someone for you.

Also, the possibility that autistic females generally have it better than autistic men is a fairly useless statement. Some do some don't. But it sounds like you are in some sort of competition with women. I don't understand why.


I don't know, though honestly I would've preffered them just coming out saying they didn't know how to help us, rather than giving us what I have to assume they already knew was useless and potentially harmful advice.



Last edited by Gauldoth on 10 Apr 2015, 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

VincentHuxley
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10 Apr 2015, 12:37 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
Lazar_Kaganovich wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
I'm sorry, I'm just tired of all these women claiming that being Aspies is as big a handicap for them as it is for men. It's not, it's just not. Stop pretending it is because it's not.




Ahhhhh.....everyone thinks their burden is the heaviest. Stop playing victim Olympics, people!

Asperger syndrome *is* as much of a hardship for women as it is for men, albeit in different ways. The best analogy I can think of is vectors in the Real plane(R2) that have the same magnitude but point in different directions.


No, it isn't. I don't care who says it or how many times they say it. And I'll never say it, because it's not true.


Well then, look at it this way: what does focusing on such an idea do for you?



Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 12:46 pm

VincentHuxley wrote:
Well then, look at it this way: what does focusing on such an idea do for you?


This isn't about what is good for me, it's about the truth. I refuse to pretend that women are as handicapped by Aspergers as men are when that's clearly not the cse.



androbot01
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10 Apr 2015, 12:47 pm

So what's the evidence?



Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 12:49 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I've read once an article ages ago by a female aspie attends adult aspie meetups, and she said how noticeable how all the females there were in relationships while all males were not.

So I don't think the OP has to worry much, even WP is showing this trend too.


Reality is a real b***h to deal with, isn't it?



androbot01
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10 Apr 2015, 12:54 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I've read once an article ages ago by a female aspie attends adult aspie meetups, and she said how noticeable how all the females there were in relationships while all males were not.

So I don't think the OP has to worry much, even WP is showing this trend too.


Reality is a real b***h to deal with, isn't it?


Is this the evidence? Boo's anecdote?



Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 12:56 pm

androbot01 wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I've read once an article ages ago by a female aspie attends adult aspie meetups, and she said how noticeable how all the females there were in relationships while all males were not.

So I don't think the OP has to worry much, even WP is showing this trend too.


Reality is a real b***h to deal with, isn't it?


Is this the evidence? Boo's anecdote?


It's more evidence than you've provided so far.



VincentHuxley
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10 Apr 2015, 12:58 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
VincentHuxley wrote:
Well then, look at it this way: what does focusing on such an idea do for you?


This isn't about what is good for me, it's about the truth. I refuse to pretend that women are as handicapped by Aspergers as men are when that's clearly not the cse.


Then don't pretend; but that still doesn't explain why you have to make such a point of voicing such an opinion...



androbot01
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10 Apr 2015, 1:06 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
It's more evidence than you've provided so far.

Well, my claim is that gender is not an accurate way to determite who has it easiest. Too many variables. In essence, that your claim is unprovable. But I also wonder what the point of such a claim is. Is this a play for sympathy for men or resentment against a group for a perceived advantage? Even if the advantage existed (for which there is no evidence,) what do you care?



Gauldoth
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10 Apr 2015, 1:11 pm

androbot01 wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
It's more evidence than you've provided so far.

Well, my claim is that gender is not an accurate way to determite who has it easiest. Too many variables. In essence, that your claim is unprovable. But I also wonder what the point of such a claim is. Is this a play for sympathy for men or resentment against a group for a perceived advantage? Even if the advantage existed (for which there is no evidence,) what do you care?


Well, that's a cop-out if ever I saw one. Look, do you have any evidence to support your belief that Aspergers has the same crippling effect on women's love lives as it does on men's? Yes or no, and if yes, please present it.