The real reason why you aren't hit on much by women.

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QuantumChemist
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19 Jul 2015, 3:35 pm

Ban-Dodger wrote:

Also, reading this thread-title once more, I am also beginning to suspect that a lot of Aspies actually are hit upon by the females, just that we may either not necessarily recognise that we are being hit-upon, and as a result we simply do not react in a manner that could end up resulting in starting any kind of relationships with said females.

I agree with Ban-Dodger on this.

I have had that happen to me quite a few times over the years and usually do not realize it until way after the situation is over (she leaves). It is confusing to me to try to perceive myself as desirable to others in that manner, so I reply as if it was a normal question asked by a stranger...

The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Jul 2015, 6:11 pm

^ If I really said those, then calling me creep would be an understatement.

Keep your "assistance" to your creepy friends. lol

Fnord
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19 Jul 2015, 7:17 pm

androbot01 wrote:

Why do you guys want a woman in your life so much? What is it that you think we bring to the table? (Other than a sandwich.)

That's difficult to explain; but for some strange reason, I feel incomplete without my wife.

androbot01 wrote:

The earlier posts indicate to me an element of resentment. But I don't understand why.

Many reasons.

It's not so much that we're being turned down, as we're being turned down with contempt.

If we show too much interest, then we're "stalkers"; and if we show too little interest, then we're "clueless".

The widely-held belief that not only is it the man who should always do the asking, but that the man should always pay.

The seemingly universal experience that a man in a relationship with a woman eventually surrenders his right to make most, if not all personal decisions to the woman.

The other seemingly universal experience that most, if not all emotional support is eventually directed toward the woman, with the man left with little or no emotional support at all.

The fact that the woman always knows that her children are hers; but that the man can never be absolutely certain that her children are his, as well.

There is more, but this should be enough misogyny to debate over many pages to come.

dianthus
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19 Jul 2015, 8:54 pm

Men aren't hit on much by women, because girls are brought up to think it's wrong. We're told from the time we are little that we're supposed to wait for the guy to make a move.

Women who hit on men get called things like "slut" "whore" "desperate" "stalker" "golddigger" etc. and often get treated as such as well for it.

Fnord
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19 Jul 2015, 9:00 pm

dianthus wrote:

Men aren't hit on much by women, because girls are brought up to think it's wrong. We're told from the time we are little that we're supposed to wait for the guy to make a move. Women who hit on men get called things like "slut" "whore" "desperate" "stalker" "golddigger" etc. and often get treated as such as well for it.

Yet, given enough time and opportunity, women will eventually let their (*ahem*) desires be known to the man they've chosen; especially after that man has been latched onto by a rival.

androbot01
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19 Jul 2015, 9:23 pm

Fnord wrote:

The seemingly universal experience that a man in a relationship with a woman eventually surrenders his right to make most, if not all personal decisions to the woman.

The other seemingly universal experience that most, if not all emotional support is eventually directed toward the woman, with the man left with little or no emotional support at all.

These two are the most bothersome to me. The first would be unacceptable. I have to and will make and act on my own decisions. Perhaps this is a roadblock in my relationships. I have been with men who made all the decisions and it was awful. The second is probably true. Women tend to be far better at expressing their emotions. Just be glad you were never an adolescent girl. They're mean.

The completeness thing sounds cool.

RetroGamer87
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19 Jul 2015, 10:17 pm

androbot01 wrote:

Why do you guys want a woman in your life so much? What is it that you think we bring to the table? (Other than a sandwich.)
The earlier posts indicate to me an element of resentment. But I don't understand why.

I don't know. In my experience being in a relationship makes one's life more difficult, at least from a logistical point of view.

What do I hope to gain? Self-respect? An end to comparing myself unfavourably with everyone else? An end to self-loathing?

Maybe I won't find these things but like Sisyphus I must keep trying.

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androbot01
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19 Jul 2015, 10:32 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

What do I hope to gain? Self-respect? An end to comparing myself unfavourably with everyone else? An end to self-loathing?

Maybe I won't find these things but like Sisyphus I must keep trying.

Those things never went away for me even when I was married. I think self respect comes from within.

androbot01
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19 Jul 2015, 11:18 pm

Question: I am single and there's this guy on night crew (also single) who I sometimes see when our shifts cross. So I think he likes me as he always makes a point of talking to me. I like him and would like to get to know him. What should I do? (Not hypothetical.) I will likely see him again on Friday.

kraftiekortie
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19 Jul 2015, 11:30 pm

Continue talking to him. Steer the conversation towards movies/shows/mutual interests. Maybe wink at him a bit.

androbot01
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19 Jul 2015, 11:34 pm

Perhaps we have a shared interest we can exploit. Not sure about the winking though. I would probably screw it up and look like I had something in my eye. :wink:

kraftiekortie
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19 Jul 2015, 11:45 pm

I find item cute when ladies wink at me :wink:

Spiderpig
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20 Jul 2015, 12:00 am

dianthus wrote:

If women weren't slut-shamed for having sexual desires, let alone for satisfying them, a lot of people, everywhere, would be enjoying themselves. It'd surely be the end of the world!

Marianne Williamson wrote:

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jul 2015, 12:31 am

dianthus wrote:

I have a feeling you are confusing hitting on with catcalling? Yet this is discouraged for both genders.

Boys never get trained how to hit on girls; all they learn from the media and from their early expérience that if the hit on comes from an unwanted boy, then he would be called "creepy" "stalker", or "desperate" or something like that by the girl.

In my experience? When a girl hits on her wanted guy, it's way bolder than when a guy does it.

cathylynn
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20 Jul 2015, 12:34 am

the guys i have hit on are the ones who display either musical talent or prodigious use of the english language.

WantToHaveALife
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20 Jul 2015, 5:41 am

because women are passive, duh!!

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